


Disappearing Lines

by xjustfortonightx



Category: TharnType the Series (TV), เกลียดนักมาเป็นที่รักกันซะดีๆ | TharnType: The Series (TV) RPF
Genre: Anal Sex, Blindfolds, Consent, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Gay Sex, M/M, Masturbation, Oral Sex, i'll add tags as the chapters go up, maybe a little bit of angst?, progressing into their relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:01:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 64,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25322812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xjustfortonightx/pseuds/xjustfortonightx
Summary: I wanted everything. His kiss, his touch, the feel of him against me and inside of me. I wanted the feel of him filling me until there was nothing left but him, to hear him moaning my name as he drove himself into me but above all of that I wanted him. I wanted his heart, his time, to fill his mind as much as he filled mine, wanted to be the reason for his brightest smiles and happiest laughs.
Relationships: Mew Suppasit Jongcheveevat/Gulf Kanawut Traipipattanapong
Comments: 180
Kudos: 876





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time that I've written a piece like this, about real life people so I'm not sure if it's any good or not but I couldn't help myself. The idea stuck in my head and I couldn't shake it lose. Sorry if writing in this view makes anyone uncomfortable, I just write better like this. Hopefully you all understand. There is no beta reader, so I apologize for any mistakes or screw ups. I'm not sure about the timeline of this either. I'm not 100% familiar with everything so read with that knowledge in mind. I tried to keep things rather vague with any reference to actual events so as to not cause confusion because of that. 
> 
> And as always, we don't know the actual relationship between these two so this is just purely fiction and my own mind running away from me. Don't take things seriously other than my sincere wish that the two of them are happy, no matter what their relationship together may be.

**Gulf**

Cameras flashed and clicked around me, their noises something I had grown accustomed to over the past few months. At first it had been a little overwhelming, I hadn’t known what to do in the face of the flashes. The sounds had followed me for hours after we had left the events before. It was all still crazy to me that so many people would come out to see us like our fans did but it didn’t make me shy away as much as it used to.

Well, sometimes. Sometimes I still got shy and flustered. I would never get used to it all, to the swell of support that came to us from so many people from so many different locations, so many different cultures and languages.

My love for them was endless like it felt like theirs was for me. My gratitude never ending.

“What’s the status of your relationship?” A reporter asked and received a chorus of interested sounds from other reporters as well as screams from fans. It was a question that we got often, one that they worded differently every now and then if they were being clever or sneaky but it always held the same meaning: what are the two of your to each other?

It was a question that I secretly hated, even if I put on a smile and laughed when it was asked.

It was also a question I let Phi answer first if I could. He was better versed in dealing with reporters, better at handling on the fly responses most of the time and was generally better equipped at knowing what to say. It was a given, he’d been in the industry longer while I was still so new to it all.

I looked to him and he gave the reporters as well as the flashing cameras all a charming smile, one that I continued to mirror. I’d instinctively laughed and smiled as soon as they’d asked the question, like I always seemed to do. Both of us were aware that we were being recorded, not only but the reporters but by the fans nearby as well, their screams filling the air when we smiled.

At one point it used to startle me, the sudden swell of noise but now it made me smile more. It was a sound of support, cheering us on.

“We’re a Phi and Nong that love each other very much.” He said and placed his hand at the small of my back. For everyone else it may have seemed like a move that was contradictory to his statement, but it was a move that was meant to soothe and comfort me. He never knew how I would react to the questions, never knew how I felt about it being asked.

I hated it/ I hated it when the question was brought up and I had to smile my way through it but not for the reasons that some may think. It didn’t make me uncomfortable. Reporters would ask what they wanted, sometimes it would be inappropriate and sometimes they would be fine. It was all dependent on the reporter in question. I didn’t know how to handle the answer, so I let him handle it.

It was the answer that I hated. Phi and Nong. When he said it, my heart ached, and I was forced to smile through it all. Forced to nod and agree, like I didn’t crave something more from him every night. That my heart didn’t race every time he looked at me or that it was hard for me to even look at him sometimes because I still got shy. I had to pretend that I didn’t want to feel his lips on mine every minute of the day and to have him touch me in ways he never had before. Had to smile and pretend that having his face so close to mind during fanmeets and events didn’t drive me crazy, make me want him that much more.

I had to pretend that I didn’t love him.

“Do you agree, Gulf?” No/ No, I didn’t agree with it at all. I hated the Phi and Nong label, didn’t want to be labelled like that by him. I wanted to be more than just a Nong to him that he looked at with affection. I wanted more.

I looked at the reporter who had spoken and laughed as I smiled and nodded. It was like they all expected me to counter him, argue that we were more than what we really were. It never made any sense to me. Did they ever expect that to actually work and what exactly were they hoping to hear from us? That we were madly in love and actually dating?

Only in my dreams.

“I do. We’re a Phi and Nong that love each other very much. Phi is always there for me, I think I’d be a little lost without him.” I said. My honest words were met with a chorus of “ohhhs” from the reporters in front of us and a swell of screams from the fans behind them. P’Mew rubbed my back as heat flooded my face.

As he took over once again, I smiled through the ache that settled into my chest, schooling my features. I truly did hate that question.

\-----

I bounced against my bed as I fell facedown on it. The day had been a long one and while it had been fun and I had enjoyed it, I was still glad to be home, glad to be able to fall into bed and not have to think about moving again in a few minutes. I could lay here for a hours and do nothing but sleep if I wanted. I wouldn’t be able to sleep in, there was a fanmeeting scheduled tomorrow but I wasn’t budging before I had to.

Not that I would be able to drift off to sleep anytime soon. Not when Phi’s voice came rushing back into my head, calling us Phi and Nong. I sighed and hid my face in the blanket. Stupid question, stupid answer. Everything would be easier if it were that simple for both of us, if feelings hadn’t run away from one of us. I didn’t blame P’Mew though. He didn’t know, I hadn’t ever told him.

Was too shy to, didn’t know how to. What was I supposed to say to him? _Hey, Phi? I think I fell in love with you while filming and getting closer to you. Now all I can think about is being with you, kissing you and other things. Hope that doesn’t sound weird. Hope that isn’t crossing a line. I don’t want things to be weird between us._

Not going to happen.

I groaned into the blanket before turning my head to the side and dragging my phone up. I unlocked it and pulled Twitter up, scrolling through my feed for a few minutes before moving over to the search bar. Every so often I would scroll through the tag that the fans used for us to see what they were saying, see what they were posting. Sometimes I would save the funny screenshots they took of Phi to tease him with. It made me feel close to them in a way. I couldn’t talk to all of them, couldn’t acknowledge everyone but I could see what they were doing sometimes, see that they were happy and having fun.

The top results came up as they always did and I scrolled through them slowly. There were languages that I didn’t understand mixed in with some that I could pick a few words out of. I paused in my scrolling when a video started to play, my attention caught by the way I was gazing at Phi.

I knew that’s how I felt about him but did I always look at him that way? With that amount of love and affection shining in my eyes? It was like I was gazing at him as if he’d hung the stars in the sky and made the night sky as beautiful as it was. Was that the expression I wore whenI looked at him anymore without realizing it? Before I had had a hard time looking at him because he made me shy. I would look away if he looked at me when my eyes were on him.

Sneaking looks, that’s what I used to do.

It was easier now, I could look at him and I still felt shy but the urge to turn away didn’t overwhelm me anymore. Apparently it was because I was busy staring at him like a lovestruck puppy. I was doing a fantastic job of keeping my feelings to myself.

Heat filled my face as the video continued and the clip changed to one where I had been gazing at him as he was talking. I had been listening to him intently, I could remember that, but I had also been admiring how good he had looked that night. How attractive he had been with his hair styled the way it had been. A small smile was on my lips and it blossomed when he turned his gaze towards me, transforming into a full smile that reached my eyes.

The video wasn’t a long one, maybe two minutes if even that but more heat filled my cheeks each second that passed. So many adoring looks and growing smiles were held in that short video, my emotions so clear for anyone to see. And I had been foolishly thinking that I was doing a good job at keeping things to myself.

When I had first met Phi, I could freely admit to myself that I’d had a small crush on him but I hadn’t thought anything of it then. May gaze had followed him around the room, unable to look away. I had wanted to go and talk to him too but he’d had his fans with him and I’d been too shy so I had sat quietly, casting glances towards him every now and then, hoping that I would go unnoticed.

I’d been surprised when his fans had come to talk to me when he’d gone back for his casting time. I’d been sitting on my own. I didn’t know what had brought them over to talk to me but they had all been so kind and sweet, settling my nerves for a little while with their talk. They had asked for my Instagram information before they had left, which I had happily if nervously given them.

Phi had then returned and resumed conversation with them. Every now and then he would glance in my direction and my stomach would flip with nerves. Was he looking at me? And if he was, what was he thinking?

I tested against everyone that had come in to try for the role of Tharn but had felt nothing when put against them. They had been nice enough, had been talented as well but hadn’t stirred up the emotions that I thought the character would have felt. That was until Phi had come into the room.

When he had stepped inside my heart had sped up, the closer he got the more nervous I had gotten, and when he hid our faces behind the script it had been all over for me. He’d lent closer to me as if we’d kissed behind the pages, gazed down at me with eyes that were full of mysteries and my face had turned bright red, the tips of my ears burning in response to him. AS he lowered the papers I had looked away from him and there had been soft sounds of approval, as if they’d all been waiting for the same thing.

Later they had asked me who I had liked acting against the most and I hadn’t needed to think about my answer. It had been Phi without a shadow of a doubt. No one else had been able to make me feel shy and I had just liked being near him like that. I hadn’t minded it, had wanted to stay close to him like that for longer. That he had picked me too had made me happier than it should have.

Yes, I could admit to myself that I’d had a small crush on him in the beginning, but it had gone further than that somewhere along the times. I couldn’t place when, but it had. At first pushing the hearts that he gave the fans down or buttoning up his shirts had been playful banter, a joke meant to make everyone laugh, but it turned into me not wanting to share those hearts and not wanting anyone else to see his chest like that. It had turned into jealous actions that I laughed and smiled through.

I shook my head and continued scrolling, feeling flustered with myself. I paused at another video and let it play out. This one was various clips of our kissing scenes from the series, including a rather long clip from the special episode. I remembered all of the kissing scenes, remembered what P’Mew’s lips had felt like against mine and how we’d gotten carried away with the kissing sometimes. I’d lost count of the number of times we’d been scolded for using tongue in the shorts, making us reshoot. Not that I had ever minded. I enjoyed kissing him.

The special episode had been… different. We hadn’t been told where to or how to touch or kiss each other. Phi had just been told when and where to take me. The rest had been up to us. Everything had just flowed naturally, like neither one of us had to think about what we were going to do. Everyone in the room had been still and quiet, even more so than normal. It felt, when cut had finally been called, that no one had dared to breathe while the scene had played out in front of them. A few of the crew member’s faces were flushed and I hadn’t been able to blame them.

I had nearly chased after Phi’s lips more than once but caught myself. He guided the scene and I followed along but I had wanted to feel his lips against mine. There had been a small noise that came from me that could be heard in the silence that they’d decided to use and leave in the scene. My ears had gone hot when I heard it, I hadn’t even been aware of making it.

All I had known in the moment was P’Mew’s lips against my neck and his arms coming around me to lift me up. I had instinctively put my legs over his hips like I always did when he carried me. Everything else had been tuned out, hadn’t existed for me. If it wasn’t P’Mew, it hadn’t mattered.

As I replayed the events from the scene over in my mind, I could almost feel Phi’s lips against mine, against my neck and my face grew warm all over again. I didn’t know how to stop him from filling my mind all of the time, didn’t know how to stop the reaction that I had to thoughts of him when I was alone.

A shiver raced down my spine and I felt myself hardening against the mattress. I shoved my phone away from myself and rolled onto my back, staring up at the ceiling. This wasn’t the first time this had happened; it wasn’t the first time I had grown aroused by Phi. I had become aroused by scenes before, we both had. It was a natural response. We laughed it off and backed off to cool off before going back to work.

I wasn’t on set now, P’Mew wasn’t here with me now and he wasn’t actually touching me. I had remembered the feel of his lips, the feel of his touch and had become aroused by the memory of it. And it still wasn’t the first time it had happened away from set. I had dreamt of him touching me in ways we never had, of him using his mouth on me in ways he never had, of doing things we never had.

As my hand slip down over my stomach to the band of my boxers, what I was about to do wouldn’t be the first time I had done it either. It wouldn’t be the last either, I was sure. Lifting my hips I slid my boxers off and tossed them away, gripping my cock when I was free, a soft groan slipping past my lips. I closed my eyes and let my mind wander.

It wasn’t my hand gripping me but it was P’Mew’s grip around me, working a slow path up and down my shaft. In the beginning I had felt guilty about doing this while thinking about him but gradually that guilt had slipped away being replaced with an overwhelming shyness. It would be my secret. He looked at me as nothing more than a Nong so this would be something I would never share with him.

I worked my hand along my length as I thought of P’Mew’s hand stroking me, of his lips against mine, of his tongue requesting entrance to my mouth. All of these thoughts filled my mind, demanding my attention, making me harder. The thoughts of him filling my mind made me ache, a flush creeping over my chest.

When I shifted on the bed, my phone slid over to me and I pushed it away again with an annoyed whine, my fingers sliding over the screen. The device held no interest to me, though the thought of looking at Phi shirtless was quite appealing. Picturing him in my mind touching me and kissing me was far more appealing. Letting my imagination run free always appealed to me more.

My breath hitched and grew faster as I stroked myself faster, the pleasure building. The only thing I thought of was my Phi and how badly I craved for his hand to be the one gripping me, how it would feel better if it were him touching me, driving me higher. He wouldn’t let me come so quickly or easily thought. He liked to tease me too much and surely it would carry over to more intimate realms too.

So I slowed my motions down to a tease pace that I was sure he would take and every nerve in my body tingled in protest but oh did it kick everything up in my mind. This is exactly what he would do, take me high and then slow down to tease me, to make me want it from him all the more, to hear his name from my lips.

“Phi…” I moaned and circled the head of my cock with my thumb, spreading the beads of precum over my head. He had invaded every inch of my mind and left no room for anything else. I was at his mercy and he didn’t even know it. “I want it, Phi… Please.”

I could imagine what his response would be, his voice low and soft as he spoke to me. _‘What do you want, Gulf? Tell Phi what you want and maybe he’ll give it to you.’_

I wanted everything. His kiss, his touch, the feel of him against me and inside of me. I wanted the feel of him filling me until there was nothing left but him, to hear him moaning my name as he drove himself into me but above all of that I wanted him. I wanted his heart, his time, to fill his mind as much as he filled mine, wanted to be the reason for his brightest smiles and happiest laughs.

I wanted to be everything the fans thought we were: completely in love and together, stealing loving touches because we couldn’t help it, gazing at each other with love because we couldn’t stop ourselves. All of it, I wanted to be selfish and have every single one of those things. Wanted them deeply and desperately. Wanted all of the things that I couldn’t have.

At least here, in this moment, I could have this, could let myself have this.

“Phi, please… I want it…” I all but whined into the silence. There was no one here to hear me, no one here to respond but I didn’t care. “I want to come for your… I promise to be a good boy from now on, I won’t complain about you teasing me…”

P’Mew would definitely ask if I would be able to keep that promise to behave myself from now on, if I would be able to be a good boy. He was always making comments on how I was always being naughty, but he let me get away with so much. I would promise to be good if it meant he would let me come but I would also misbehave if I knew it would get his hands on my again.

I slid my hand faster against my cock, working myself higher again, my breathing speeding up. The pleasure was building, dancing closer and closer, a soft moan escaped me.

“Phi… Please…” I whined and drew my lip between my teeth once again. I wanted the release that was rushing towards me, needed it more than I needed my next breath. If he had been here and touching me I would have been willing to be him for that release.

My P’Mew liked to tease me but he was never cruel, he would bring me to that high, encouraging me to go over that crest for him while I whined for him. The thought of that, of him working me higher and giving me soft praises is what sent me over and sent my orgasm crashing into me. His name left my lips on a cry that trailed into a soft moan then into a low whine. Come spilled into my hand as my breath left me in soft pants and color heated my cheeks.

There was one little thing that I always suffered from after I did this. I didn’t know how I was going to look P’Mew in the eye tomorrow.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being with him was like a breath of fresh air, the sun coming out after a storm to warm my skin. He had been the calm to a hurting heart and helped it along the path to healing. Talking to him calmed me, seeing his smile made me happy, his laugh was one of the greatest sounds I’d ever heard. Its why he so often got away with so much or so easily got his way.
> 
> Seeing that smile spring into bloom or bearing that laugh was worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in updating. Here is the next chapter for you! No beta reader so, apologies for any mistakes.

** Mew **

The day had been long but enjoyable. It had been filled with flashing cameras, screams from fans, and a near constant flow of questions. The cameras I had become used to and the flashes no longer bothered me, the screams from the fans that came out to support us gave me energy and an overwhelming feeling of happiness. The reporters I had learned to navigate and steer along when I needed to.

Just like when they pulled out the relationship question that seemed to be their favorite one to ask, I was always prepared for it in some form or anything. Sometimes they would be direct in asking what our relationship was but sometimes a reporter would get creative and change up the way they asked or would ask Gulf directly to try and catch us off guard. I knew what they were looking for: a piece of juicy gossip to make a story out of.

The thing was, there was no gossip to be had, no story to be spun. What we told them every time was the truth. We were just a Phi and Nong who loved each other very much. There was nothing more between the two of us, no juicy romance going on behind closed doors. It didn’t matter that my feelings had run away from me and done what they wanted, there was nothing there like the reporters thought.

It felt like I was playing with fire. No matter how careful I was, no matter how hard I tried to control myself around him, it was like I was playing with fire and only moments away from being burnt. And I was careful, refused to be anything but. I had felt that scorching burn before, had no interest or desire to feel it again.

I was afraid of feeling it again. Recovering from it had taken a long time, in ways I was still piecing tings back together. Healing and moving on from something like that didn’t happen overnight and sometimes part of you stayed wounded from it. Nothing about it had been gentle or kind, it had been pain and hurt from all sides.

Things had been dark then; I wasn’t sure where things were going or how they were going to end up. Everything had been upside down and nothing seemed as if it would ever go well again at that point. I hadn’t been sure of what to do or where to go.

That’s when Gulf had come into my life. He’d caught my attention immediately; I had wanted to talk to him from the first time I had seen him but I hadn’t been able to work up the drive to. I mean I had almost not gone to the casting day for various reasons.

What a mistake that would have been.

I hadn’t gone to try out for the role of Tharn but had agreed to when they had asked, I had nothing to lose by trying. Then the process of testing against all the Type candidates began but no matter how well they acted, none of them called to me. Not until I had walked into the room and seen Gulf.

Everything had seemed to click into place then, it just felt right with him. I still wasn’t sure what had driven me to pick up that script and hide our faces behind it before leaning in close to him like we were kissing behind it. Maybe I had just wanted to be a little closer to him, I wasn’t sure. As I had gazed into his brown eyes, ones that I now knew lit up when he laughed, his face had flushed red and the tips of his ears had too.

I’d dropped the papers and his eyes had darted away from me to a chorus of murmured approvals. That blush had been a lovely sight and one that I had been able to see a number of times since then. They’d asked who I had liked playing against the most and the only choice had been Gulf. It had, in truth, been a surprise that he had chosen me as well. I’d gotten used to being passed over. Our choices had secured us the roles and led us to where we were today.

Gulf didn’t know it but, in that choice, he had silently extended his hand to me when many had stopped. I hadn’t known what to do at that time, I had guarded myself away from many and was wary of new people. Not that I wasn’t friendly, I was. I just didn’t let people close like before. Something I would have to work past for this new series. It deserved the best that I could offer to it. I could become friends with him, I could manage that, did manage that. We had become fast friends, had become close.

The time I spent with him felt calm and peaceful in the storm of emotions I had been feeling. Even when we bickered and sulked at each other it was better than the darkness that I had been feeling. I felt more alive. Those fights never lasted exceptionally long either, it was like we couldn’t stay mad at each other. We drifted back to each other and talked it out, figured everything out again.

Being with him was like a breath of fresh air, the sun coming out after a storm to warm my skin. He had been the calm to a hurting heart and helped it along the path to healing. Talking to him calmed me, seeing his smile made me happy, his laugh was one of the greatest sounds I’d ever heard. Its why he so often got away with so much or so easily got his way.

Seeing that smile spring into bloom or bearing that laugh was worth it.

Talking to him every day, seeing him every day had become normal, it was odd when it didn’t happen. It felt… wrong, off. Neither one of us liked it and we made up for it by calling each other every night, sometimes we’d meet up for a meal even if it were late. There were times, just a few of them, when he had called to eat and I already had but I went anyway, ate again because I wanted to see him.

We called each other every night even if we’d seen each other that day, so it wasn’t so odd that I’d do that, was it?

No, there was nothing between the two of us. My heart had been swept away by him but it wasn’t something that I would tell him about. I had been burnt by that once before, had learned my lesson from that experience already. I cherished the friendship that I had with Gulf, would gladly accept any piece of him that he was willing to give to me.

Answer that relationship question was always difficult. Gulf smiled and laughed but I knew him well enough to know something was off. I never asked but I had the feeling that he didn’t like it but it wasn’t like we could tell them not to ask the question. It would only add fuel to the fire, lead to other questions that could make things worse. Giving an answer that went against what my heart craved was painful, the only thing that I could do was try and navigate through the question as quickly as I could.

Laugh and smile, give them the same answer I always did while trying my hardest not to give away any of my own feelings.

I dropped down onto my bed as my phone started to buzz next to me, Gulf’s name lighting up the screen. Typically, I was the one that started our calls, but he would sometimes as well. He must have grown bored with the game that he was playing or had something that he wanted to talk about. Answering the phone, I lifted it to my ear and balanced it against my shoulder.

“You called first?”

There was no answer to my words, just the sounds of rustling. It vaguely reminded me of the times that the two of us had talked on the phone while in bed and Gulf had dropped his phone into the middle of his blankets. It sounded like the rustling of fabric for some reason. I furrowed my brow and pulled the phone back to look at it for a moment, confirming that it was Gulf’s name on the screen before putting it back to my ear in time to hear a hitched breath coming across the line.

“Gulf? Are you there?” I tried getting his attention, worried that he hadn’t said anything yet. The only sounds that came across the line were what sounded like rapid breathing and the rustling of fabric. It wasn’t until I was up and racking my brain for where I’d left my pants at (answer: laundry basket, like I always did) so I could drive over to Gulf’s to break down the door to check on him if I needed to that I finally heard his voice.

“Phi…”

It wasn’t a sound of fear or a cry for help, there was nothing in his voice to send warning bells off in my head. Gulf’s voice was soft and breathy, coming in quick pants. I had heard similar sounds while filming with him, but these were… more. Raw and unchecked, not something that was scripted for him to do or something that he was constantly being mindful of.

The sound of Gulf’s moan filled my mind and I felt my pulse quicken. There had been countless times where I had wondered what Gulf would sound like when he moaned, truly moaned without worrying if it were too much or being mindful or ratings. It was something that I thought about often, wondering if it would be a little lower and softer like his voice or a little higher but still soft like his laugh. Either way it would be a soft sound, I was sure.

I thought about it far more than I should. Gulf was my Nong and I was his Phi. Nothing more than that. There would be nothing more than that, Gulf was important to me. I would protect what we had, my feelings would have to deal with it.

I was all too aware of what people said online, celebrities saw the negative comments just as well as the positive ones and I didn’t want that happening again. Didn’t want to sink back down into that hole I had finally managed to get out of. More importantly, I didn’t want something like that to follow Gulf. He was too bright, to sweet for it. He had once said that he felt that I would protect him, and he was right. I would.

So, I would keep my emotions in check and keep my feelings to myself. Be the Phi that he needed, be the one that would protect him and be there for him. It was something that I could do, something I had been doing for months now.

But why was Phi leaving his lips on a moan like that? Who was he talking about?

It was a beautiful sound that was soft like I knew it would be, and breathy, the sound travelling straight down to my cock, making it hard beneath my boxers. Gulf had moaned Phi before, but it had been directed at me and it was a little different when there were cameras pointed at you. People broke into laughter and immediately made squealing noises, ready to tease about the mistake. There were times when the name of the person you were looking at slipped out instead of the character. It happened.

“P’Mew…”

I blinked in surprise. If I had been expecting to hear a name attached to the Phi, it hadn’t been mine even if I had been hoping it would be. There was no reason for Gulf to be moaning my name, let alone with that much need laced into his voice but for one reason.

He wanted to.

And didn’t that just make my cock ache in arousal as I listened to the quickening pants on the other end of the phone. I returned to the bed, sinking backdown onto the mattress slowly. I knew I should have hung up the phone and given Gulf the privacy he deserved. I wasn’t meant to hear this. He may throw dirty jokes at me from time to time but this he would be too shy for. There was no doubt that he had called me by accident.

But I couldn’t bring myself to lower the phone, to hang it up. The sounds of his moans and whines coming through the line were intoxicating. They were a sound I needed to hear, that I needed to have imprinted on my memory. A part of me felt guilty for listening in on him but my phone was frozen in place.

“I want it, Phi… Please…” Gulf’s voice was all but a whimper now and it made me drop my head back against the wall. I shoved my boxers down far enough to free myself from their confines. I was alone with just the sounds of Gulf on the phone and I was painfully hard, the younger man’s voice being my sole focus.

What the hell was my Nong doing to himself and what exactly did he want me to do? I was willing to volunteer for whatever it was, if only he knew just how willing. If the feelings were one sided, keeping things to myself would be the course I would take but if Gulf shared the same feelings? I would proceed with caution, but things may be able to go further.

When I gripped myself, I had to bite my lip to stop a groan, no longer interested in drawing his attention to the phone. Let him continue with what he was doing. I stroked myself and closed my eyes, letting my senses ride on the sound of Gulf’s voice and the feel of my hand as I slid it along my shaft. Pleasure lanced through me as I pressed my thumb to the slit in my head, precum already beading and slipping free.

“Phi, please… I want it… I want to come for you… I promise to be a good boy… I won’t complain about your teasing me, I promise.” Gulf’s needy pleas nearly drove me over the edge faster than I thought humanly possible as my hips jerked upwards to thrust into my grasp.

If only Gulf knew how willingly his Phi would give him whatever he asked of him. Twenty million for a dowry? I’d figure it out and save up to be able to give it to him. Ice cream? A rare request, one he really only made if I wanted it but I’d still buy it for him. A meal? We could go wherever he wanted to eat. He wanted to come, I would happily bring him that pleasure and release as many times as he wanted.

The faster that Gulf’s breaths came through the phone, the faster I stroked my hand along my cock, driving the waves of pleasure higher with every pull up and stroke down. Soon my breathing matched Gulf’s, the familiar feeling of the need to come stretching my nerves tight.

“Phi… Please…” Gulf whined now, the sound like music to my ears.

_This Nong is going to be the death of me._ I thought and bit down on my lip again against a groan. _You’ve been a good boy for your Phi, Yai Nong. Come for me and make sure I can hear your pretty moans._

It was almost like Gulf could hear my thoughts. I heard my name leave him on a cry that turned into a moan and finally into a whine that sent a shiver down my spine. It was the soft whimper that came from him a moment later that tipped me over the edge to my own release.

Come, hot and sticky, shot from me as I stroked myself through my orgasm, riding on the high that it brought me. Before my mind went hazy and then blank with pleasure and bliss, I had the awareness to end the call and drop the phone next to me. As much as I would have loved to have been able to listen to Gulf’s panting after finding his release, I wasn’t sure how he would react to the knowledge that he had been heard and that the object of his desires had been the one to hear him.

Our fan meeting tomorrow was certainly going to be an interesting one. Would I be able to look Gulf in the eye after what I had heard and after what I had done? Would he be able to look at me? All of this led to new questions too.

What exactly were Gulf’s feelings? What exactly were we? And were those lines that we’d put down slowly beginning to disappear?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Full disclosure: Yes, Mew will tell Gulf that he heard everything. The question is just when and how?
> 
> Stay safe out there!


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I pulled my gaze away from his lips and looked up. And felt every muscle in my body tense when I saw eyes that I could easily get lost in looking back at me. There was endless warmth there, more reassurance than any amount of words could give me, but I still wanted to run. Wanted to run and hide and very possibly never be heard from again. I didn’t know how long I’d been staring at him so I had no idea how long he’d seen me staring at him.

Screams erupted around us as we walked out onto the stage, cameras flashing as we waved to everyone. Many had their phones out and held to point at us, some snapping pictures while others were likely already filming what was going on. I smiled and waved as I looked around, trying my best to pay attention to each section.

I had said it before and I would continue to say it, that it had become a familiar yet odd sensation having so many people gather here to snap pictures of us, to wave at us, ask questions, to give gifts or to ask for autographs.

It was all mind boggling and I was glad that I had P’Mew with me to help guide me through the twists and turns. In the times I had been without him I had felt lost and unsure of if I was doing anything right. P’Mew guided reporters away from questions that they shouldn’t be asking in his charming way and made sure that fans didn’t get too handsy, though they typically were all very respectful. Phi protected me from a world that was vastly new to me.

Not that I could look my protector in the eye for very long today. Every time I tried, I had a flash of what I had done last night, remembered the way I had come while thinking of him and moaning his name. When those flashing of memories happened, I would look away quickly, like I had in the beginning and all I wanted to do when I got off stage was hide in a hole for the rest of my life.

Yeah, looking at him was not a thing right now.

“The fans want to see you pick Gulf up. Is that okay with the two of you?” The MC today was friendly and relaxed, not one of the pushier or more demanding ones that we’d encountered in the past. Some would tell us to do this or that without really giving us a choice in the matter while others would ask. It wasn’t like either of us minded doing what they asked, we didn’t but, it was nice to be asked instead of told.

I had liked the MC today too but, I was beginning to rethink my stance. That was a lot more prolonged contact than I thought I would be able to handle but there was no reason for me to say no. I never had before, had never backed away when he had approached me to pick me up. If I did now it would only make the fans concerned and lead to questions.

As I turned to face Phi and held my arms open for him to pick me up, the crowd around us screamed in pleasure, excitement lighting up their faces. I couldn’t help but laugh and give a shy smile in response. I adored every single one of them and enjoyed doing simple things that made them happy. Whether that be by doing a cute pose or by letting Phi pick me up like this. P’Mew had lifted me up a number of times before: in workshops, during filming for the special episode, at fanmeets like this, and a few other locations. This was nothing new, nothing that I couldn’t handle. I could do this, I would be fine.

Phi crossed the small space that I had kept between us with that familiar, fond smile of his and I felt my stomach flip. This was going to be the longest lift up moment of my entire life and the longest fanmeet of my entire life. I wasn’t going to survive it, my sanity would be frayed and destroyed by the end of it.

When I was lifted off the ground, my arms immediately went around his neck and my legs hooked over his hips, the movements instinctual. Gazing down at him was instinct too and he looked up at me with a smile that made my heart flutter. There was such affection in his gaze that it made my chest ache. Normally I would have focused on that smile, the eyes that I adored but I couldn’t this time as screams pitched higher than normal, cameras flashed at an increased rate, the word “hands” being screamed from every direction.

For reasons that I could feel.

Normally when P’Mew lifted me up, his hands went to beneath my thighs to hold me up or he linked his arms beneath my butt to give me a makeshift seat but this time his hands were placed directly on my ass, unmistakably placed. Heat crept up into my face as Phi set me back onto my feet but the feel of his hands stayed with me, the memory of the feeling burnt into my skin.

“Ohh! What was that?” The MC exclaimed with a shocked face, fanning himself with his cue cards.

“I lost my grip midway through picked him up and didn’t want to hurt him by dropping him. I’d feel bad if I hurt my precious Yai Nong.” Phi explained and brushed his fingers along the back of my neck. A shiver shot down my spine and the fans let out a chorus of “awws” at Phi’s words.

Had he lost his grip on me though? P’Mew never picked me up without a secure grip first and it hadn’t felt like I’d slipped while he was lifting me up but I’d been so lost in my own head that he probably could have actually dropped me and I might not have known it right away.

“Always taking care of him! So thoughtful!” The MC praised him but my mind had traveled miles away in an attempt to try and figure out what had just happened. It had been so startling, so unexpected but not unpleasant at all. Even as the event continued, I tried to focus myself back to the present but struggled to do so, my mind always wanting to wander off to the feel of Phi’s hands against my ass.

\-----

What had I been thinking when I had agreed to Phi’s invitation to go to his house after the meet was over? The answer should have been no and I should have gone straight home to clear my head and stand in a cold shower for the next few hours or else I’d end up repeating last night all over again.

But he had extended the invitation and I had accepted without hesitation, without even thinking about it. _That_ was the problem. I hadn’t thought at all. That’s how I had ended up in this position. Too late to go home, tucked away in the guest room of Phi’s house, staring up at the ceiling because I couldn’t fall asleep.

Damn it, I was used to sleeping with Phi. I’d stayed over before and I always slept in his room with him. This felt wrong and unfamiliar, but could I handle sleeping next to him? Or would it be too difficult? Would problems arise? It was the unknown that had led me to the unfamiliar room to try and sleep on my own.

I sat up and ran my hands through my hair, sending the locks standing up in every direction. This was stupid and annoying. I didn’t want to be in this stupid room all by myself. I sighed and stood up, leaving the room behind and walked the short distance to the room I was familiar with. I opened the door, not bothering to knock in case Phi was asleep and slipped inside, shutting the door behind me. His sleeping figure in the dark was a comfort, something that was finally familiar after laying in that unfamiliar space for hours.

“Can’t sleep either?”

Phi’s voice coming through the dark make me jump a little. I had thought he’d been asleep, that I could just crawl into bed with him unnoticed and say that I went back to the wrong room after using the bathroom but apparently fate had other plans for me. I shook my head a little, the moonlight coming from the window behind him illuminating me enough that he could see me.

“No. It felt weird in that room.” I confused.

“Don’t know why you tried but you’re free to make your own choices.” He chuckled and lifted the blanket that covered him in invitation. “Come here. It feels weird without you.”

Warmth rushed into my heart with the knowledge that it felt weird for him too, that it wasn’t just me. It wasn’t for the same reason but it left me feeling warm regardless. I crossed to him and crawled onto the bed with him, sliding myself beneath the blanket. It was settled over both of us and P’Mew drew me in against him like he always did, my body finding it’s normal spot against him. The familiar spot against him.

Everything about Phi was familiar to me.

I settled myself on my side and scooted into him, my head tucked beneath his chin, my nose close enough to his throat that if I tipped my head up at all I could press my lips against his skin. My hand went to his chest and curled into the fabric of his shirt. Normally I wasn’t shy about being pressed against him but this time, in this moment I was. There was space left between our bodies when normally we would have been touching.

Phi’s arm draped over my waist and drew me closer to him, closing the space that I’d left between us. Our bodies touched together, and it felt like every nerve in mine came alive. I was acutely aware of his legs against mine, how close our hips were, how my stomach pressed against his, the feel of his arm over my waist, the softness of his pillow against my cheek. Even his scent I was aware of. It was stronger being this close to him, a normally comforting scent sending my heart pounding.

I felt him nuzzle the top of my head like he normally did before he drifted off to sleep and I squeezed my eyes shut in a desperate attempt to calm my racing heart. Being this close to him was comforting and terrifying all at the same time and wasn’t that just a massive contradiction. What used to soothe and calm me now made me nervous and restless.

Minutes passed and nothing changed, my heart continued to thump nervously in my chest and my mind refused to quiet down so I could slip off to sleep. Slowly and carefully I tipped my head back to look up at the cause of all the confusion and nervousness I was feeling. Maybe looking at him for a few minutes would help soothe me, help to calm me down.

There was a reason that Phi had such a large fan base, besides his acting and kindness. Those were a given. He was attractive. Distractingly so. Sometimes I would get caught up in just looking at him and forget what I was doing or was supposed to be doing. Sometimes It was easier to focus if he wasn’t looking in my direction and I could just look at his side profile because then I couldn’t look at his eyes.

Eyes that were mysterious and captivating, ones that drew me in and let me get lost in their depths. When they were turned towards me or focused on me I was in a danger zone. The threat of being swept away was constant and I had to remind myself to focus. That should have been a hint to me that my feelings had changed from a small crush in the beginning to what they were now, but I had ignored the flying flag in my face for a little while.

Those eyes were shut as I looked up at him, his lips so close that I could barely think. I followed the shape with my eyes and the only coherent thing I could think of was that I wanted to feel them against mine. Here in the privacy of his room with no cameras aimed at us recording every action, with no one else watching with scripts covering their smiles. Where it was just the two of us in the dark with nothing to stop us. Just the unrequited love I felt would.

It would be far easier if I could control how I felt. One could control how they behaved and what they did but when your feelings ran away from you? It was hard getting them under control again. I didn’t know if I’d be able to.

I pulled my gaze away from his lips and looked up. And felt every muscle in my body tense when I saw eyes that I could easily get lost in looking back at me. There was endless warmth there, more reassurance than any amount of words could give me, but I still wanted to run. Wanted to run and hide and very possibly never be heard from again. I didn’t know how long I’d been staring at him so I had no idea how long he’d _seen_ me staring at him.

Phi’s thumb ran over the skin beneath my lower lip in a slow motion and heat crept up along the back of my neck. He coaxed me to release my lower lip from between my teeth. I’d bitten down on it without realizing it and it ached now that I’d stopped abusing it. How long had it been like that and how hard had I bitten down? Because it hurt.

“You hurt yourself.” He murmured and brushed the pad of his thumb over my lip. Every pain receptor shut down and all I was aware of was how gentle his touch was, how carefully he moved his thumb over my lip like I was something fragile that would break if handled too roughly. It might not have been too far off being true at this moment. The moment felt fragile, like it could shatter at any moment.

“I’m alright. It doesn’t hurt too bad.” I muttered, heat spreading into my cheeks now. The longer his gaze stayed on me the redder my face become and the more I wanted to hide. I should have just stayed in the stupid guest room. Coming in here had been a stupid decision.

A low sound came from him, one that sounded like he didn’t believe what I said, which was smart. It did hurt but he didn’t need to know that. His thumb traced that slow path over my lip again and I left out a shaky breath. It felt like my heart was going to explode from how hard it was beating.

I had been this close to P’Mew before, had been touched like this by him before but it was all different now that emotions had flooded me, that we were alone. Even these casual touches from him I selfishly relished because they were all I would get.

“Gulf, can we move the personal line and let each other in a little more?”

It wasn’t a question I’d been expecting to hear from him. It had been an agreement we’d both set up in the beginning when we’d both tried to get too close to each other too quickly. It had been the easiest way to make sure that boundaries weren’t crossed again. If we wanted closer, we could ask the other if we could move that line to where we were comfortable with it being. It worked for us.

Recently, we’d stopped asking and had just naturally moved it for each other. We seemed to know where the limits of the other was without asking, knew to stop without being told. It just came naturally to both of us, we flowed together naturally, knew each other instinctively. Others found it scary or weird, it was just normal for us.

But where else was there left for those lines to go?

In truth, there wasn’t anything that I didn’t let Phi do. I let him hug me, play with my hair, hold my hand, let him take care of me, I sat in his lap, let him touch my stomach, let him tease me, and so much more. All because I wanted to. I _liked_ it when he did. I liked sitting in his lap and having him play with my tummy.

I actually sulked internally if we were put in two separate chairs.

There was no room left to move the lines. If I were to move it again it would fall away, and everything would be laid out bare for him to see. There were no secrets kept between us except for this but this was something I needed to keep to myself, to keep tucked away safely where it wouldn’t ruin anything.

So why didn’t my body listen to my mind? Or was it my heart not listening? All I knew was while I was reasoning out to myself why everything was going to remain tucked away a secret and there was no where left to move that line so I had to say no. I was already nodding. Agreeing that we could move it further.

His lips touched my forehead and my stomach fluttered. Even when we filmed if he happened to kiss my forehead my stomach felt as if a million butterflies had been set free inside of it. The signs had been there, but I had ignored them for a time. What if they were the feelings of Type bleeding over and I couldn’t separate myself from them. What if I was confused because of that? But it had been months since I had stepped into the role of Type and those feelings hadn’t faded any, hadn’t left me. Instead they had grown, taken deeper root inside of me. I had become possessive of him, acted like I couldn’t do things around him when I could simply because I wanted his attention.

Those weren’t Type’s feeling but my own so I had acknowledged them,

I tipped my head back, but he didn’t put his lips where I wanted them. They touched my keep and I was sure he could feel how hot my face burned. At one point I might have cared, but all I wanted now was his lips against mine, thoughts about everything else had long since left. He grazed the tip of his nose along the bridge of mine and I let out another shaky breath, ready to whine in frustration. Was he teasing or giving me the chance to stop him? I wasn’t going to.

Then his lips were on mine in the softest kiss we’d had, and the world just felt… right. It didn’t feel awkward or unsure, I felt no lingering uncertainty, just a warm feeling of finding a missing piece of myself that I hadn’t even known was gone. It all just felt right and warm and safe.

As our lips moved against each other, his tongue sought entrance to my mouth. There would be no requests for gentler kisses her in the dark, no warnings to not do that sort of thing. His hand found the back of my head and his fingers feathered through my hair, a shiver shooting down along my spine and I nearly moaned into him as I parted my lips for him. The first time that Type had wanted Tharn may have been my favorite episode but it hadn’t been my favorite kiss.

The kiss that had been my favorite had been when Type had come back from seeing Puifai and asked Tharn for forgiveness. He had held my head similar to this and it had been thrilling to me. The kiss had felt different and I could admit, now, that I had lost myself in it a little. A sense of disappointment had washed through me when cut had been called. I’d wanted to continue.

P’Mew was ending the kiss sooner than I thought he would, drawing back away from me and a soft whine of protest escaped me as I chased after his lips. I actually chased after them, leaning forward to try and bring us together again, everything having ended too soon for me. It had been months since the last time he’d kissed me and this had all passed in the blink of an eye.

“Shhh…” He soothed, leaning back out of my reach. For a brief moment I feared that he regretted doing it but the smile he wore, the one that reached his eyes, told me it was genuine and not forced, soothed that fear. “Your lips being swollen later would be a bad thing. We’ve got things to do tomorrow and we don’t know what that abuse you put your lip through has done to it. You bit down pretty hard on it.”

I looked away from him, sulk mode turning on even though it wasn’t my intent. Of course, he was right, but that didn’t mean I had to be happy about it. He chuckled and I wanted to scowl at him but the feel of his lips against my neck halted the action. His breath was warm and his lips soft against my skin. The action was familiar but new all at the same time.

It wasn’t the first time he’d kissed me or kissed my neck but yet it was. It wasn’t Phi playing a role here but him doing this because he wanted to. His hand slipped beneath my shirt and trailed a path up my back not because he had a role to play but because he wanted to touch me.

A small whimper escaped me as I felt myself hardening at his touch, at the sensation of his lips against my neck. This had played out in my head the night before as I had stroked myself to orgasm and now with the actual thing happening, there was no way my body wasn’t going to respond. My breath hitched and I drew my hips away from him instead of pushing them forward like I wanted.

I was still shy.

“I still felt you, Yai Nong.” He whispered into my ear and I would have bitten my lip if it wouldn’t have gotten me scolded. His voice that low and close to my ear had been one of the hottest things I’d heard. I wanted him to do it again, which he did. “Let me take care of you?”

When was he not taking care of me? There wasn’t a day that passed by that he didn’t take care of me and protect me. I trusted him completely. To take care of me in public and here in private. I gave him a small nod and let my eyes close as he peppered kisses over my neck. He was everywhere, all around me. His lips against my neck, his hand moving down my back, his scent all around me.

It was like I’d become drunk on P’Mew.

His hand ran over me through my boxers and I moaned out his name in a soft voice I didn’t know I was capable of. I no longer drew my hips away but moved them forward in search of his touch, which he willingly gave to me. He stroked me in light motions through my boxers until my breaths were coming in soft pants and his shirt was fisted in my hand.

“Can I take these off?” I nodded quickly and he eased me onto my back, sliding them off before tossing them to the side. I nearly came undone when he took ahold of me, a low moan coming from me. I had known his hand around me would feel better and I had been right. His long, slender fingers wrapped around me and stroked me in a lazy way that had me trying to hide my face beneath my hands. “I want to watch you, Yai Nong. Don’t hide your face away from me.”

I lowered my hands slowly and looked up at him, the way he was gazing at me making me want to hide all over again. He gazed at me like there were countless things that he wanted to do to me and not enough time to do them in, a hunger burning in his gaze. All I could do was nod in response as he stroked me, my voice lost to the soft while that overtook me. With his gaze on me, watching the pleasure passing over my face and the way my breath hitched, I only grew harder in his grasp.

He watched me as I was taken higher, urged closer towards release. It wasn’t my imagination that formed his picture over me, it wasn’t me imaging his hand instead of my own. It was all him here with me, bringing my breaths faster as he stroked me. His thumb ran over the slit in the head of my cock and my head fell back against the pillow, his grasp now slicker because of the precum that had beaded there.

“Do you want to come, baby?”

What were coherent words anymore? I couldn’t form them in my mind let alone vocalize what I wanted. All I was doing at this point was moaning and whining in soft sounds. I gripped his shirt and thrust my hips instinctively into his grasp. The edge that I wanted to reach, to top over was right there, so close that I could feel it building and burning inside of me.

“Answer me, baby. Do you? You can just nod if you want.” I bobbed my head rapidly in response and twisted my fingers into his shirt. It was probably good that it was on or he’d have scratch marks all over his chest. Wouldn’t be able to leave his shirt unbuttoned then, would he? “Then come for me, Gulf. Let me hear how beautiful you sound.”

His strokes sped up and I felt myself come undone beneath him. I came over his hand with a cry that I didn’t try holding back. Even if there had been someone to hear, I wouldn’t have cared in that moment as P’Mew murmured soft words to me and stroked me through my release. None of it mattered except that I was here and I was with him.

I whined softly at him and he pressed a soft kiss to my lips that I savored, floating in my cloud of bliss that I never thought I’d reach. Not with him anyway, just always on my own. His lips touched my cheek and I looked up towards him, my breathing having steadily returned to normal. His gaze was heated and I craved to touch him as he had me but when I released his shirt, reached down for him he caught my wrist with his clean hand.

“Not tonight. If I let you touch me, I won’t stop until I’ve had all of you. Then neither of us will be ready for tomorrow.” He explained at my curious look. “Tomorrow night. Spend the night here with me again and we’ll continue if you want.”

Of course, he was right again. It was already late. If we continued tonight both of us would barely be able to function on lack of sleep. Not to mention that I would be sore as hell and wouldn’t that just be interesting to try and lie our way through. Fans were perceptive and picked up on virtually everything, they’d notice it and theories would run wild.

“Okay. But no clothes while we sleep. My shirt is dirty anyway and you threw my boxers on the floor.” I said when he raised his brows at me. I’d hit my shirt as well as his hand when I’d come so it wasn’t a lie. Yes, I wanted to snuggle into him nude, but I also didn’t want to sleep in a dirty shirt. I gazed up at him with wide eyes until his lips curved into a smile and he nodded.

“Fine, fine. You’re pretty good at getting what you want, you know that?” He said and shifted off the bed. The fans had made the comment before that he often gave into what I wanted though I wasn’t even sure what I did to do it. They’d always found it adorable though. If I looked at him long enough he caved, how was that my fault?

“Maybe you don’t know how to say no?” I countered and watched as he cleaned his hand off. As he did I pulled my shirt off and tossed it to the floor. Now that I was bare, I was becoming shy as his gaze turned towards me to trail over me. Didn’t matter that he’d seen the lower half, being nude was completely different.

Heat bloomed in my cheeks again and I tucked myself beneath the blanket, pulling it up to my chin. I poked my tongue out at him when he laughed though my gaze remained lucked on him when he removed his clothes. I’d seen him shirtless before, had briefly taken time to appreciate how in shape he kept himself. For a brief time I had been envious of how toned he was until he had told me how much he liked my tummy, how often he played with it for no reason.

I had learned to love it then, hadn’t been uncomfortable with it anymore.

I’d never gotten to see what was hidden beneath his boxers even if I’d seen him in them a number of times. The sight of him had me pulling my lower lip between my teeth again before I could stop myself. I knew he would be large but now I questioned whether I would be able to take all of him inside of me, if I would be able to handle all of him. My thoughts ran wild as he looked towards me.

“Gulf.” His tone was scolding, and I released my lip immediately. “Maybe I just like giving you what you want.”

He joined me in bed once more and drew me to him, pressing his lips to my forehead as I settled against him. We wouldn’t stay in this position, but we often fell asleep like this, my head on his chest, snuggled in close to his side. I felt warm here in his arms, felt safe and cared for.

It felt like home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one turned out a lot longer than I thought it would. I don't know if you guys prefer longer ones or shorter ones or if you're okay with whatever? I don't think any other ones will turn out this long but here I am with this one. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, regardless of how long it was! I really do appreciate all the comments that you leave! They make me smile and feel excited to work on the next bit <3


	4. Chapter Four

** Mew **

We woke up in a vastly different position than we’d fallen asleep in and it wasn’t good for me. We’d spooned before but we’d been fully clothed and last night most certainly hadn’t happened. I had woken up with Gulf’s ass pressed against me before, but never bare skin against bare skin, having heard his whimpers and moans the night before, having watched his face as he came with my name on his lips.

I was hard as he pressed back against me, his ass much softer than he gave himself credit for. He liked sitting in my lip, a habit that I liked as well, but he always made the comment in private that he was worried that his butt was too bony and was hurting my legs. In actuality, it was far from it. It was soft and well-shaped, with my cock nestled against him.

Which wouldn’t have been such an issue if we didn’t have a schedule today.

“Gulf.” I kissed the back of his shoulder gently before I gave it a gentle shake, but only succeeded in making him wiggle back against me. A soft groan escaped me and I pressed my forehead against the back of his shoulder. He wasn’t the easiest to wake up, but this was going to be sheer torture on me if I stayed here like this. Yet the temptation to do just that was strong.

Slowly, I tried to ease back away from him, but stopped when he whined. I would have left him to sleep if I could have, but I didn’t have a choice in waking him up. I pressed my lips to the back of his shoulder again, nuzzling the curve of his neck gently.

“Come on, Gulf. It’s time to wake up now, baby.” Despite my words and my knowledge, I hugged him back against me. He was soft and warm against me, the temptation to just stay there with him was strong. Just cancel the event and not go anywhere. We couldn’t, of course, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t entertain the thought, that it wasn’t appealing.

“Don’t want to, Phi.” He muttered and pulled the blanket tighter around himself. So stubborn. I slid my hand along his stomach with the intent to squeeze his side. He might not have been ticklish but if you squeezed hard enough, I was sure it would get his attention at some point. Instead, my hand brushed against something hard and warm, my interest wandering from waking him to addressing what I’d just found. I glanced at the clock on the nightstand. I had time if I didn’t get too carried away.

I slid my hand down further, taking him into my grasp and began to stroke him in slow, steady motions. His hips squirmed back against me and he moaned, a soft sound that was forever going to be imprinted on my memory. A sound that I hoped I got to hear often, to be the sole cause of in the future.

“P’Mew…” He said my name softly and looked over his shoulder to me. His cheeks were growing flushed and his breath was coming in soft pants, his lips parted in an inviting sight. He had been an inviting sight in the darkness of last night – he was a danger in the morning light, where I could see him clearly and properly. “What about you? I can feel you.”

As if to drive his point home, he moved his hips back against me, making my cock ache in response. I’d planned to address the issue in the shower, but I wasn’t sure that Gulf would let me now that he had taken notice of it here and now. I had denied him last night, if I did it again he’d likely sulk at me. And I wasn’t sure if I wanted to either. Not when Gulf was here, warm and willing against me. I couldn’t do everything that I wanted but there were other things that I could do, that the both of us could settle for.

“Let me borrow your thighs, baby?” I asked. Gulf gave me a confused look, but nodded, lifting his leg up willingly for me. I slid my cock between his parted legs and then coaxed him to lower his leg again so that I was nestled between his thigh, enveloped in the warmth there. It wasn’t exactly where I wanted to be, but for the time being it was better than nothing and I would take it.

“Phi…” Gulf’s voice was a whine, much like it had been last night, the blush spreading over his cheeks and to the tips of his hears. I could see the desire in his eyes as he looked at me, the way his breaths came in pants. “Please…”

The pace I set was slow and steady, the retreat and forward momentum of my hips rocking him into my grasp on his cock. Though I touched him in no other way, his moans became louder, his fingers tangling into the bed sheets. Maybe he was doing the same thing that I was, letting his mand wander to the possibilities of tonight and what it could hold.

I thought of what it would feel like to have him wrapped around my cock, moaning my name while I drove myself inside of him until he was trembling beneath me. Feeling him clenching around me, to know what his whimpers and whines would sound like while I was inside of him, knowing that I was bringing him pleasure in a way that no one else had before. Among other things that I desired to do.

The thing I wanted to do right then and there was to bite his shoulder that was exposed to me, the tanned skin a tempting invitation, but wouldn’t possible bite marks be fun to explain away to anyone who saw them? Always so many things that could bring up questions, that could need any number of explanations.

That would be something we’d have to be mindful of.

Gulf rocked his hips between mine and my hand, thrusting into my grasp and I knew he was close. His pants became quicker, whines escaping him more frequently, and he was trying to hide his face from me. That would be something I would have to help him stop doing but with his back to me I could do nothing now.

“It’s okay, baby. Come for me. Phi’s got you.” I said softly. I pressed soft kisses over the back of his neck when he dropped his head forward, a low moan coming from him as he came over my hand and the sheets. All that I was aware of was Gulf, the scent of him, the way his hips rocked back into me, the soft pants and whimpers that filled the room. Everything had become Gulf, had become Gulf months ago.

Who would have thought that the shy young man here would have become my world and swept so much dark away?

Gulf looked over his shoulder to me again with flushed cheeks and parted lips, a sight I would never be willing to share with anyone. I lent forward and captured his lips with mine, the speed of my thrusts increasing. Here I didn’t need to worry about going slow, didn’t need to worry about hurting him. That fear would consume me later, would linger constantly at the back of my mind because he would look at me with unwavering trust and I would do anything in my power not to hurt him.

My kiss was met with eagerness, his lips moving willingly against mine, accepting what I had to give to him. His hand slid down to grip my wrist, steadying himself as I drew his hips closer back against mine. Though he gained no pleasure from this, soft whimpers slipped from his lips, this sounds pushing me higher. Perhaps that’s why he was doing, because he knew I liked the sounds.

I came with a soft groan against his lips, my hips stilling against his as a shudder raced down my spine. Gulf bit my lower lip, surprising me and he gave me a slow smile that I knew would be dangerous and cause all sorts of trouble in the future. He always got a look in his eye when he was going to misbehave during interviews or when we had been on set, this was similar just… more. Aimed solely and directly at me, I would be the only victim here and I would willingly accept whatever he decided to throw at me.

“You made me sticky, Phi.” He said. Most of my come had ended up between his thighs, so he wasn’t wrong. I lent into him slowly, watched as his cheeks grew redder at my proximity. He could throw the words around but when I got close, he got shy. I wondered if that would ever change or if that would always be the case. It would be interesting to see.

“Just this once. You’ve done it to me twice now.” I whispered and the tips of his ears went red. The new level of teasing that this opened up could be quite interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little shorter this time so I miiiiiight give you the next chapter early. Just maybe. I'm sure you guys can guess what happens in the next chapter, right? So do I make you wait or give you the chapter early? Decisions, decisions.


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since so many asked, you can have this chapter early!

** Gulf **

When I returned home with P’Mew, I thought I’d be nervous, unsure of how to act around him. There had been promises of something more to come last night and this morning, I wasn’t sure if nerves would overtake me and make me shy away from him or his touch. Maybe those promises would scare me, make me feel unsure of things that were to come?

I felt no different with him now than I did before. We hadn’t gotten home and pounced on each other to tear each other’s clothes off. There had been no shoving one another against a wall or anything like that. We’d gone into the kitchen with the food we’d picked up for dinner and eaten like we normally would: comfortably talking about the day, laughing and joking with each other, completely at ease.

Now I stood at the counter drying my hands, having just finished helping him do the dishes like normal. It all felt comfortable and normal, even with the promise of the unknown lurking in the future. Maybe it was because it was Phi that I wasn’t nervous or maybe the nerves just hadn’t caught up to me yet? I knew that he would take care of me, but it was still something new, something that I had wanted for so long that was finally within my reach.

The nerves would come rushing at me later, I was sure of it.

“All done.” His voice was closer than I expected, next to my ear and heat crept into my face. I may not have been nervous but shy I most certainly was as his arms found their normal place around my waist and his chin rested on my shoulder. I was acutely aware of how close he was to me, of the heat of his body melding with mine. “Are you scared? We don’t have to. We can just go to sleep like normal.”

Maybe it was my silence that prompted him to say it but I knew he meant it. If I didn’t want to do what had been talked about before, if I had changed my mind, he wouldn’t push me for more. He would be happy with me curled into his side as we slept like we had done so many times before, completely oblivious to how the other felt. It made my heart flutter to know that he would so willingly accept that, with no hesitation or question.

I turned in his grasp, felt him lean back so I could, and I shook my head, surprised when my eyes locked onto his lips. I had wanted to have them against mine all day, had lost count of how many times I’d caught gaze wandering down to his lips randomly throughout the day, so maybe it wasn’t so surprising. I hadn’t been able to help how shy I’d felt with him today, my mind either wandering back to what we had done this morning or forward to the promises of what was to come. I had been trapped between the two thoughts and my mind hadn’t been able to pick which to stick with.

It had been a tennis match of back and forth all day.

“I’m not. I’ve never been scared when I’ve been with you. Nervous but not scared. I’ve always known that you’ll protect me.” I said. I hadn’t known him long the first time I’d said that I felt he would protect me, but it had been said from a place of honesty. Even back then, when I had first met him, when I looked at him, I felt as though he would protect me. I always felt safe and warm with him, cared for.

A small noise of surprise escaped me when he lifted me up and set me on the edge of the counter behind me, my legs automatically parting so he could stand between them. The tip of his nose trailed a slow path along my neck and heat flushed my cheeks, a shiver racing along my spine. It wasn’t the first time he’d done it, but it felt more intimate now, in the privacy of his home. It was more intimate now.

“I want to leave a mark here.” He murmured and I angled my head to the side so he could have better access. He laughed, a soft and low sound, when I did. “And how would you explain that way? So eager.”

It was frustrating that he was right. If he left a mark on my neck it wouldn’t fade overnight and what sort of believable excuse could I give to cover it up? I might have wanted him to mark me, but I couldn’t have it. A soft whine escaped me, and he peppered soothing kisses over my neck.

“Shhh, Yai Nong. Maybe I can mark you somewhere else.” He said and slid his hands along the tops of my legs to my inner thighs. The thought made me bite my lip in anticipation. I wanted him to mark me somewhere, anywhere. A secret the two of us would carry between the two of us, two people exploring the newfound depths of their relationship, of their feelings for each other.

Phi gripped my hips and drew me closer as he claimed my lips. The kiss was soft and slow, a gentle meeting of lips as I tangled my fingers in his hair. I adored the way he kissed me, the way it started out slow and the heat would gradually build. Even during filming that’s how it had been, now it was raw and unfiltered. We had no reason to hold back, no eyes watching us to scold us for going too far, so we didn’t hold back.

When I felt his hardness pressed against my aching cock, a soft moan slipped from me and he took the chance to brush his tongue inside of my mouth. Something I accepted happily. I slid myself as close as I could to him on the counter without risking falling off, the need inside of me creeping higher.

I needed him and wanted him in ways that I couldn’t explain.

“Phi…” I gasped as I broke away from him, color rising in my cheeks. Desire had never rushed over me so badly, so intensely before. I had desired him before, a number of times. Had thought about being like this with him before, but the desire hadn’t burned so intensely before.

“Come with me.” He said and kissed me softly once more. I squirmed off the counter when he stepped back, followed him upstairs to hi bedroom, my fingers laced with his. It wasn’t a far trip, but I still didn’t want to let him go. Didn’t want to part from him. The bedsheets had been changed from this morning and I looked at him in alarm. “I changed them when I was up here earlier getting changed. Don’t worry.”

“You did that quick.” I muttered.

“I’m efficient.” He replied, drawing me close to him and I went willingly. His fingers brushed over my sides as he drew my shirt over my head, the garment lost to the territory of the floor. His movements were unrushed as he removed my clothes, fingers brushing over the skin that was exposed to him until I was nude in front of him. A soft hum of approval came from him, a small smile turning his lips up. “Beautiful.”

Heat flooded my face and I glanced away from him, the tips of my ears going red as well. Since meeting P’Mew, I had come to love the parts of me that I had been insecure about. I had disliked how small my ears were but when Phi always touched them when I was nervous, I had grown not to mind them. I had been self-conscious about the tummy I felt I had but Phi said he liked it, always played with it and said that he liked how soft it was, so I had stopped worry about it.

If the one that I adored liked it, why should it matter to me? I had stopped worrying about them, stop focusing on them, then realized that they just… didn’t matter. My ears were fine the way they were, there was nothing wrong with my stomach. I was fine the way I was, and Phi had made me realize that.

“You’re shy.” His hand slid over my cheek and turned my face back to him, his thumb brushing over my lower lip. I let out a shaky breath and gave a small nod. He pressed his forehead against mine in a gesture that had my stomach fluttering. “Phi is here with you, don’t be shy. It’s just us.”

I moved down onto the bed when he coaxed me onto it, scooting myself to the middle as I watched him. He removed his clothes, letting them stay where they landed, and I bit my lip at the sight of him. In the future, I would enjoy removing his clothes, but here I enjoyed watching him undress himself, enjoyed watching the way his body moved. And I got the time to appreciate what was kept beneath the clothes. I’d seen him shirtless before, had seen him nude more recently but hadn’t had the chance to appreciate the way he looked, and he was a sight to behold.

A sight that only I would be allowed to see from now on.

When he joined me on the bed, I accept the weight of his body on top of mine gladly, his skin against mine, his hips against mine. I met his lips eagerly, my fingers tunneling into his hair once more as I parted my lips to him.

The kiss here was heated, drawing soft whimpers and moans from me, the need in me rising until I thought it would explode. It burned hot and intense, consuming every inch of me, every thought that went through my head. Everything was just P’Mew. Even though I wanted more of him, wanted to feel his lips elsewhere on my body, I chased after his lips when he drew back from me, tried to draw him back down to me. The loss of them seemed mean to me somehow.

Though, I couldn’t remember what I thought was mean when he started to ease himself down my body, dropping light kisses against my skin as he went. Every previous thought I’d been having about something being mean was thrown out of the window in that moment. His hands traced a path over my inner thighs and my breath hitched, sliding my legs further apart for him.

“You’re already leaking, Yai Nong.” He said and lifted his gaze to me. The sight of him there, between my legs, was a sight that I had dreamt of for months, had been the cause for a number of hard ons, and it was a victory for me that I didn’t come simply from the sight of him there.

“I want you.” It was the simple truth. I had wanted him for months and would want him for years to come. I would never have enough of him. I hadn’t had him yet and I already knew it was true. P’Mew was the one I wanted next to me for the rest of my life, the one I never wanted to let go of. Someone would have to pry him from my cold, dead hands and even then, I likely wouldn’t let go. He was _my_ P’Mew.

I watched him as he gripped my cock and stroked me in light, slow motions, the sight only making my cock ache in need, but there was no way I could watch him as he slid my cock into his mouth, wrapping me in warmth that I had only dreamt of. If I watched him it would be game over for me in seconds, I’d come undone faster than I ever had. I let my head fall back against the bed, moaning out in soft, low sounds.

The slow glide down and pull up drove me higher up with each motion, but when I got close to that edge, Phi would back off to nurse the vein in my cock with his tongue. He knew me so well in every other regard, which was a given, we were close. How the hell could he tell I was close to coming so easily like this? While it was arousing as hell that he knew me so well, it was also very frustrating. I fisted my hands in the sheets and whined softly at him.

I had been focused on the feel of his mouth so intently that I hadn’t paid any attention to what he was doing otherwise. It wasn’t until I felt one of his slender fingers ease inside of me that I realized he’d been distracting me. The bottle of lubricant must have been down by him and he’d been multitasking.

Sneaky.

I let out a low, soft whine and Phi rubbed the top of my leg with his free hand to try and soothe me. It didn’t hurt, his fingers were slim enough and well lubricated enough to prevent that with just one, but it had startled me, and I found the idea of him touching me like that to be painfully arousing.

“Doesn’t hurt, just startled me.” I whimpered. “Keep going, Phi.”

The next finger did hurt, but I knew it would. He moved slow, easing the second finger inside of me gradually, bringing me a mixture of pleasure and pain, my drawing my attention to his mouth wrapped around my cock as he eased his fingers slowly inside, moved them gently. None of what he did was rushed, everything slow and patient as he tried his hardest to ease any of the discomfort I felt.

In time, he had three fingers inside of me, moving them slowly as he watched my reactions from his spot between my legs. He’d taken his time, gone slow and whispered soothing words to me when I hadn’t been able to stop myself from squirming in discomfort. As my hips started to rock in time with him, as I started to rock onto his fingers, he moved back up to gaze down at me as his hand rocked against me.

“You did such a good job, Gulf. So brave.” He murmured and kissed my forehead. I gripped onto his shoulders, whimpering out his name softly. I liked having him praise me like that, wanted to hear more from him. Phi always gave me compliments, but this was different somehow. I just couldn’t quite place how.

My nails sank into his skin and a cry tore from my throat when pleasure crashed into me, making me jerk my hips up. I remembered reading through the NC scenes in the book before, of Type experiencing the same thing. Phi must have found that bundle of nerves. I just hadn’t expected it to be that intense of a pleasure, to rush over me so suddenly.

He didn’t ask me if he’d hurt me, didn’t ask if he’d done something wrong but struck the spot again and drew another cry of pleasure from me. My reactions and expressions were being closely read and watched by him, he’d have seen if he hurt me. He could see the pleasure washing over my face, could hear it in the whines that were starting to pour out of me when his fingers stroked the spot. In the moment, he was reading me like a book left wide open to him.

“What do you want, Gulf?” He asked softly. “Are you ready for me?”

It felt like my whole body vibrated in response. I was beyond ready to have him inside of me, filling me and making me feel complete. I nodded and released his shoulders, gazing up at him. “I want you, P’Mew. I want you inside. Please.”

I didn’t take my gaze off of him when he lent back on his heels and picked up a condom, tore it open and rolled it down over himself. Kept my gaze on him as he spread more lube over his covered cock and lined himself up with me. I lifted my gaze to him when he lent back over me and began to ease himself inside of me. It hurt and I knew it would as I bit down on my lip, whining softly.

“I know, I’m sorry baby. I don’t want to hurt you, but I can’t stop it.” He soothed, kissing my forehead and cheeks. I could feel the guilt coming off of him in waves and it warmed my heart. I knew he didn’t want to hurt me, knew he hated doing it. The further he eased himself inside, the more it hurt but I knew it would pass once I adjusted. “Do you want me to stop?”

“No. Just hold still when you’re all the way there.” I gasped. He did just that, falling still when he had eased himself entirely inside of me and took to stroking my hair in gentle motions as I breathed through the pain as it eased. It took time but gradually the pain eased, and I was left with a feeling of pleasant fullness. “I’m okay now. You can go ahead, Phi.”

“Are you sure?” He asked and gave me an unsure look. I could only imagine the combined torture he was feeling in that moment. The guilt he felt about having put me through that pain even though I had willingly accepted it because I wanted to be with him like this, on top of the physical torture he was experiencing of holding himself still while he was buried inside of me, my body clamped down tight around him. How much self-control was he using to stop himself from moving?

I drew him down to me and kissed him softly before nodding. “It doesn’t hurt anymore. I promise I’ll tell you if it does or if I need you to slow down at all.”

His gaze roamed over my face for a moment before he began a slow retreat and forward motion. The pain didn’t return, pleasure having taken its place as he moved inside of me. He was gentle, so gentle with me. He didn’t go fast or hard with me and he paid attention to every reaction that he drew out of me. If I whimpered, he did what he had done all over again until I was a trembling mess beneath him before moving on to explore more, to see what else would draw sounds of pleasure from my lips, to see what else would make me quiver at his touch.

There was no rush, no urgency behind his motions. It was like he was a man with all the time in the world and he intended to use that time to watch me come undone slowly beneath him. And that’s what I did. I came undone slowly beneath him. I gave no cares for how loud my voice became as I made every sound of pleasure possible and moaned his name countless times. I didn’t care how disheveled his bed became as I pulled at and clung to the sheets like they were my anchor from floating away. I trembled beneath him as my body sung with pleasure.

As he lent down over me, his lips touching my temple, I slid my hands along his back, the need to feel his skin beneath my fingertips driving me to touch him. Little crescent moons were left in his back when he stuck the bundle of nerves inside of me, his name gone from me in another low moan. His hips retreated and came back forward, hitting them once again, making my breath hitch. That familiar feeling of the need was building, rapidly now.

“P-Phi… Please…” I whimpered as I clung to him, my face finding the crook of his neck. His weight shifted, his body coming closer to mine as he put his weight on his forearms. I could feel my cock pressed against his stomach, moving against it as he rocked his hips into me in a steady motion.

“Are you close?” I nodded quickly, my nails sinking into the skin of his back once more. My hips found a rhythm that matched his, rocking steadily as he struck faster and deeper. “Let me see your face, Gulf. I want to watch you as you come. Don’t hide, baby. Look at me, please?”

I did as he desired and dropped my head back against the bed. Looking up at him, seeing the heat and desire in the eyes that I adored is how I came completely undone beneath him. Pleasured rushed over me as I came, my cock nestled between our bodies. I moaned his name, loud and long, my body trembling as my hair was stroked and words that I didn’t hear were spoken softly to me.

It felt like my head was floating five miles above my body.

My senses slowly returned to me and I gazed up at P’Mew who was looking at me with concern in his eyes. My senses had taken a vacation at the wrong time, but he had pulled every nerve tight and then let go all at once, letting everything snap all in one fast motion. Not that I was complaining at all.

“Did I hurt you?”

I giggled, actually giggled. The idea that he had hurt me was so absurd to me that I didn’t know how to process it properly. Could he actually hurt me? He possessed the physical strength to, that was quite apparent by the numerous times he had lifted me up and carried me around like I didn’t weigh anything. It was the emotional capacity to hurt me that I questioned whether he had. He was so gentle, so kind in general and it just seem amplified with me. I didn’t think he really could. I shook my head and traced my fingers over his cheek slowly.

“Never. Just intense, my mind took a vacation.” I smiled and stroked his cheek soothingly. I could feel him still hard inside of me, his hips must having fallen still when I came. I slid my fingers into his hair gently. “Phi too.”

“I don’t want to overdo it w-“

I cut him off my drawing him down to me, drawing him into a soft kiss as I slid my legs shakily around his waist. There was no doubt that I would sleep like the dead when sleep came to me. Even now my limbs wanted to turn to jelly, but I was stubborn, something that wasn’t a news flash to either one of us. I pulled him closer against him with my legs, easing him deeper inside of me and he groaned against my parted lips.

“Yai Nong…”

“Phi too.” I said and clung to him as his hips resumed their slow pace, pushing forward and retreating. My fingers trailed a slow path over his back, finding that I enjoyed the way the muscles tensed and flexed as he moved. When he pressed his face to my neck, I knew that he was close, his hips driving faster against me.

I pressed my hands flat against his back and whined softly, the faster pace he’d picked up something I was enjoying. There would be many things for us to explore and try out in the future and I was looking forward to all of them. The thought of all the things to come in the future made me whine softly, there being so many things that I wanted to try with him.

Phi tensed and groaned into my neck as he reached his own crest, his breath hitting my skin in soft pants. And I enjoyed knowing I had been the cause for that, that I had been the one to arouse him so much, that I had been the one to drive him to that high. That I would be the only one to do that to him from now on.

When his breathing had returned to normal, he eased himself back, sliding out of me gently. Both of our stomachs were a mess because of me, but I didn’t care, and he didn’t seem to either. He rubbed the top of my leg gently and I looked up at him sleepily, saw his gaze roaming over me slowly as he looked me over to make sure that I was alright.

“Wait here. I’ll get a towel to clean you up with.” He said and I nodded. I wasn’t going anywhere unless he planned to carry me there himself, and that included dressing me if it was somewhere that required clothes. My legs felt like jelly, I was fairly certain that I’d fall if I tried standing up, and there was nowhere else that I wanted to be at.

Well, there was one place.

He returned to me and cleaned me up gently, tenderly. I watched him, a small smile curving my lips. He was always so gentle. It was one of the many things that I adored about him. He left long enough to toss the towel into the laundry basket and started to crawl onto the bed with me before he paused, moved down between my legs.

“Phi?”

I had no idea what he was doing and blushed when he moved one of my legs over his shoulders. I gazed down at him, raising myself shakily up onto my elbows, the tips of my ears once again going red when he pressed a kiss to my inner thigh. A moan filled the room when he started to suck against the skin, heat flooding my cheeks. Now I knew what he was doing.

The smile that he flashed me when he finished and took up his spot next to me was a satisfied one that made me feel shy despite everything that we’d just done. “Told you I’d find a place to put one at. When it fades, I’ll put a new one there too.”

My boxers would cover where he’d placed the mark at, the two of us would be the only ones to know of its existence. The thought that he would be checking to see if it had faded pleased me beyond measure. Phi slid over to me and slipped his arms around me, drawing me in close to him. I snuggled in close to him, tucking myself into my normal place against him as he stroked my back, sleep slowly creeping up on me.

_This_ is where I wanted to be at more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad everyone is enjoying this so much, I'm really enjoying writing it. And there were no "I love yous" exchanged in this chapter because, and only because, I have a special chapter in mind for that. Full of fluff and sweetness. I promise it'll be worth waiting for. I hope you all enjoyed this one!


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You'll read the last line in Gulf's voice.

** Mew **

I had hated hurting him that night, being the cause of the pain he’d felt. I had felt guilty for putting him through that even when he had been willing, had known what was coming. All I had wanted to do was soothe away every ounce of pain he had felt, take it all on for him so he felt nothing but pleasure. I hadn’t been able to do that, so I had done what I had been able to do. I distracted him as much as I could, speaking softly to him, placing soft kisses to any piece of skin that I could get to, held still for as long as he needed me to.

When he had finally managed to get past the pain and settle into the pleasure, I took my time with him. There was no rush, no time limit on our time together. I had the entire weekend with him and I intended to spend it with him. I had that entire night with him. I explored, finding what touch would bring out what sound, what placement of my lips would send him body trembling, which combination I liked together the most, which he liked the most.

He had been so responsive, his voice filling the room without a care for anything. The sound of my name on his lips like that, shaky cries and soft whine, had been thrilling. To know that I could bring him pleasure on that level, that I could bring out his voice like that. I had felt connected to him on a new, deeper level that night. Anything that had remained of the lines we’d laid down with each other had faded away that night, disappearing completely.

In that moment together, we had been bare and vulnerable with each other. Had trusted each other completely.

After that, the touches had changed. They lingered, fingers brushing over the back of hands or arms, gazes fingered longer than before, smiles were softer when the other wasn’t looking, the gazes more adoring. They were shifts in body language that neither of us were in control of, neither of us could help because our emotions naturally came through.

Gulf came home with me most of the time now too or ended up at my place more often than he did anywhere else. His clothes were mixed in with mine, his things intermingling with mine. It all felt right when he was curled against me or pressed against me in some form, felt wrong when I was along. It was like something was missing. We both knew we needed our own space at times though. People could be in relationships, but they still needed time on their own, though I hoped he would move in with me in the future. Our relationship would come out to the public then, but it was something we would address at the right time.

There was still something I needed to address with Gulf myself.

I needed to tell him that I had heard him that night on the phone. I felt guilty keeping it from him, had been trying to think of the best way to tell him before I decided just to face it head on and tell him. There was going to be no easy way to do it. I was just going to have to do it quick, like pulling off a band aid and hope that he didn’t get mad at me for keeping it from him for so long.

As he sat on my lap on the couch in my living room, playing a game on his phone, I slid my arms around his waist and nestled him closer back against me. He went willingly, resting back against my chest, the sleeves of one of my button-down shirts sliding back on his arms. Gulf often wore one of my shifts when he was home with me even though they were too big on him and it was something I adored him doing. It melted my heart a little.

“Gulf? There’s something I need to tell you.” I said and nuzzled his neck in an attempt to soften him up towards me. I _really_ didn’t want him to get upset with me even if I would deserve it. Fighting with him in the past had been weird, even if we made up quickly. Now I wasn’t sure how it would work, how quickly we would make up. I hoped it would remain the same, that we would cool off and then talk through whatever had made us fight.

“Hmm?” He looked over his shoulder towards me, bringing our faces close together. I had to resist the urge to bring our lips together or I’d lose myself in him and forget completely about telling him anything. I’d be distracted by doing other things with him.

“You remember before we go together, right?” He nodded slowly with a confused look. Of course he did. Stupid question. “Good, good. Umm… I heard you that night. Over the phone. When you were thinking about me and pleasuring yourself. You accidentally called me somehow. And I couldn’t bring myself to hang up the phone even though I knew I should.”

The speed at which the back of Gulf’s neck, cheeks and the tips of his ears turned red was astonishing. It seemed to happen faster than the speed of light. He gazed at me with wide eyes for a few seconds before he was squirming about in my lap, trying to stand up. The only reason he wasn’t able to was because I was holding him firmly in place.

“Where are you trying to go? Please talk to me, Yai Nong. I’m sorry.” He continued to squirm, which was a dangerous act under normal circumstances but right now my mind was elsewhere. “ _Tua-eng_? Please?’

“I need to go. Need to contact space programs. See if they need any volunteers to go and launch themselves into blackholes for research purposes.” He said, trying to wiggle his way free from my grasp. I knew this would embarrass him and I hated that he felt uncomfortable now.

“Why would you need to do that? I liked hearing you do it, Gulf. It was exciting. I did the same thing while I listened to you.” I said. The only thing that I could think of to calm him down was to ensure him that he hadn’t been alone in his desire that night. “Just the sound of your voice made me come. Please don’t be embarrassed. You didn’t do anything wrong, baby.”

Gulf fell still in my lap and I instinctively rubbed his stomach in an attempt to soothe him. I said nothing, letting him process his thoughts and everything I had just told him, letting him process his feelings as well. If he told me to let him go after this, I would and would accept the anger if he felt it. Would do anything he wanted to gain his forgiveness.

“You did?” His voice was soft, unsure. “It didn’t make you feel weird or make you feel uncomfortable? I was doing it before we were together.”

My sweet, shy _tua-eng_.

“It didn’t. I promise. You’d never make me uncomfortable. I love hearing the sounds you make for me and knowing you want me.” I placed a soft kiss against the back of his neck, felt him shiver as my lips made contact with his skin.

“You’re not just staying that to make me feel better?”

As I slid a hand up the front of his chest, I was thankful that he rarely buttoned up my shirts when we were alone. In moments like this, it provided easier access for me. Slowly, I circled a bud on his chest and listened as his breath hitched, shuddering out slowly. His head came back to rest on my shoulder as he whined, gracing me with one of my favorite sounds.

“Would you like me to show you how much I enjoy listening to you, Yai Nong?”

Gulf nodded and I slid my other hand over the front of his boxers slowly, finding him hardening for me already. He squirmed against me as I teased him to full arousal through his boxers, the movement a temptation to my own desires. We had had sex a few times since that first night and I always waited for him to say he wanted me, always waited for him to express a desire for what we were about to do. Always waited for his consent.

I slipped his boxers down far enough to free him from their confines and took ahold of him, stroking him in slow, lazy motions. The soft whimper he made, coupled with the way he squirmed about against me drove my desire for him higher, drawing a soft groan from me.

“Phi…” I eased him onto his back beneath me as he moaned out softly. The sight of him there in my button-down shirt, skin flushed and cock hard for me was an appealing sight. One that would be imprinted on my memory for the rest of my life, I was sure.

His boxers were tossed to the floor as soon as I slid them the rest of the way off and I took in the sight of him beneath me in just that shirt and decided I was _very_ fond of the view. I lent over him, gazing down at him and he looked up at me, his lips parted slightly as he panted.

“Do you have any idea how sexy you look right now, baby?” I murmured softly and his gaze darted away from me, heat creeping further up in his cheeks. I doubted he did, doubted he even viewed himself like that. He was the sexiest to me, though. There was no one more handsome, more beautiful, more anything than he was.

When he reached up for me, I let him draw me down to him, covering his body with mine. Our lips meant in a soft kiss that grew heated as it continued. I slipped my tongue into his mouth and he moaned, his hands fisting into the back of my shirt as he tired to pull me closer to him. Not that I could get any closer. He’d already accepted the weight of my body atop him without complaint as I pressed into him, pinning him beneath me.

I understood the feeling of not feeling close enough, though. Understood it too well. It was never close enough.

His hips began to shift against me as he shifted about beneath me, seeking out some sort of friction against his cock and I let him, let him rock his hips against mine slowly until he dropped his head to the side, a soft whimper escaping his kiss swollen lips. He sank his teeth into his lower lip and pressed his hips closer to me.

“Do you want me to use my mouth on you, baby?” I whispered into his ear. Normally one that didn’t say what he wanted directly, always talked around it, here in these moments when his body was driven by desire, he was willing to tell me what he wanted. Sometimes verbally, sometimes through the soft sounds he made, other times it was by the nod or his head. This time he nodded while he kept a firm hold on his lower lip.

I pressed a soft kiss to his neck then to his throat before I eased my way down his body, peppering soft kisses over his skin as I went. I stopped at his chest, drawing one of the buds into my mouth slowly, pulling a soft moan from him as I did. His sensitivity here was surprising but something I enjoyed playing upon. Sometimes I would wait to move on until he was whining and trembling with need, his hands fisted in my bedsheets.

Part of me was tempted to do that now, to wait until he was trembling in need for me, but I wanted him in my mouth nearly as badly as I thought he wanted to be there. Another time in the future. I continued my path downward, dropping soft kisses over the stomach I was so fond of, down to the top of his leg before letting my lips wander to his inner thigh, stopping at the mark I had left on his skin. The first one had faded, and I had placed a new one in its place, as I had promised I would.

I took ahold of him, watched as precum beaded at his head before I took him between my lips and circled the head of his cock with my tongue. No matter how bitter the taste of him was, I still enjoyed it. There would never be a part of Gulf that I didn’t love and adore for the rest of my life. The bitter taste of him, his quick temper, it didn’t matter. If it were Gulf, I adored it.

His hips arched into me, seeking more of the warmth of my mouth which I gave to him in a slow descent, drawing more of him into my mouth. The soft moan he let out was music to my ears as were the soft pants that began as I worked him higher. I took my time with him, drawing him into my mouth before easing back to tease his head, moving back down on him when his whines pitched higher. His fingers curled into my hair in time and he whimpered my name, a sign that I knew meant he was close, that need to come was drawing closer to him.

Slowly I released him, nursing the vein in his cock as he gave soft sounds of protests, his fingers tightening in my hair. I knew he would be frustrated that I had denied him that release and normally I would have felt, at least, a little bad but this time I didn’t. I had other plans for him. I wasn’t finished with him yet. I gently removed his hands from my hair, pressing soft kisses to his knuckles.

“Do you want to come, Gulf?” I asked softly and moved back up his body. He gazed up at me as he nodded. “I’m not going to let you, not this soon. You have to wait and be a good boy for Phi before he’ll let you.”

Heat flooded his face, but it also burned intensely in his eyes as I spoke. He remembered saying those words while he had stroked himself to the thought of me. I had heard him say them, enjoyed every moment of it and he enjoyed hearing them coming from me, if the desire in his eyes said anything about it.

After he nodded, I left him long enough to retrieve a bottle of lube and condom, my clothes gone before I knelt between his legs once more. As I prepared him for me, it was a relief to see that there was little pain on his face anymore, pleasure the more dominant expression as he rocked onto my fingers. I still took things slowly, but he adjusted easier, had coaxed his body to not tense up at the intrusion. When I struck the bundle of nerves, his fingers gripped onto the cushions, a soft cry coming from him.

His breath came in soft pants as I teased him, sometimes striking the sensitive spot like he desired and sometimes stopping before I could, letting him rock down as he tried to hit it himself. If he had told me to stop teasing him in a serious tone at any point, I would have without question, but he accepted everything I gave to him, let me tease him higher before letting him back down. With the way he twisted and squirmed beneath me, I got the impression that he was enjoying himself despite his whines and whimpers of protest when I didn’t do exactly what he wanted.

I made sure he was ready for me before I pulled my fingers from him gently, chuckling when he whined at the loss of them. I tore the condom wrapper open and rolled it down over myself before applying more lubricant to myself. As I lined myself up with him, he tipped his hips up in invitation to me. He wanted me and he wasn’t shy in letting me know it right now.

As I sunk into him slowly, he took me inside easily with no whimper of pain, no squirms of discomfort. Only the soft sound of his moan filled the room as I filled him. Everything about it felt right. From being inside of him to seeing him beneath me, though I wouldn’t complain about the sight of him above me if he were ever to decide he wanted to ride me.

Just _being_ with him felt right.

The pace I set was a slow rock of my hips, meeting him and retreating to repeat the process, all the while watching him. Watching Gulf while I had him was one of my favorite things to do. Seeing the way his skin flushed, how his eyes fluttered shut when he lost himself in the pleasure I gave to him, the way he bit down on his lip when he worried about being too lout, how he turned his head to the side when I struck that sensitive spot of his. I enjoyed every sound he made, every expression that crossed his beautiful features.

He reached out for me and I took his hand gently, lacing my fingers with his, pressing a soft kiss to the back of his hand. There were no bedsheets for him to grip onto here and while one side of the couch had cushions he could grab onto, the other didn’t. I chuckled softly, kissing the back of his knuckles softly.

“I’ve got you, baby. Look at me, Gulf. Good boy.” His eyes locked onto mine, went wide when I thrust deep and struck that spot, his breath hitching. My hips moved faster, harder against him and he moaned out my name. Each time I hi that bundle of nerves, a whimper escaped him, his breathing becoming more rapid, more uneven as I drove him faster.

His nails sunk into the back of my hand and he bit down onto his lip as I moved inside of him. Gently I moved his free hand down and coaxed him to grip himself, color rising in his cheeks as he did so.

“Show me what you did that night, Gulf. I want to watch you.” I said, guiding his hand slowly along his length. He moved willingly with my guidance, continued to do so after I moved my hand away to watch him. His strokes weren’t quick like I thought they would be to edge him closer to his release.

Instead, they were slow and steady, almost a teasing pace. I watched him with interest as he circled the head of his cock with his thumb, whimpered out softly. The slow pace must have been why he had been whining so much that night. He’d been teasing himself, had been thinking of me doing the same.

“P-Phi…”

“Do you want to come, baby?” A quick nod. ”Then say it, Gulf. What did you promise?” The way his body clamped down around me as his breathing hitched was nearly enough to drag me over the edge. He enjoyed what I had said, I could tell from the sound of his whimper.

“I promise to be a good boy for you, Phi. Please. I promise.” He whined.

I slid my hand free from his and lent over him, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. “You’ve been a good boy for your Phi. Hold onto me. There you go. You can come for me now. I’ve got you.”

Once he’d slid his arms around my neck, I drove my hips hard and fast into him, my name leaving him on a cry. I struck those bundles of nerves over and over and I felt him tremble beneath me as his orgasm swept over him. His nails sunk to my back and come hit my stomach in gentle spurts, his body trembling beneath me as he rode out his orgasm, a soft moan coming from him.

“Can you handle me if I keep going, baby? I asked, brushing his hair back from his face. I had slowed my movements, my thrusts no longer hard and fast but slow and deep against him. He tended to get grumpy with me if I stopped completely. I pressed a soft kiss to his forehead when he looked up at me, his arms slipping down to wrap around my back as he nodded.

“Keep going.” He said, nuzzling my neck gently. “I want Phi to come for me too.”

As my hard pace against him resumed, I pressed my forehead against his, soft moans coming from him as I drove myself inside of him. His fingers tunneled into my hair, the feeling sending shivers down my spine. He may not have realized it but I loved it when he did that, loved the feeling of his fingers in my hair like that.

“I thought of you teasing me while I stroked myself. That you wouldn’t let me come so easily, that you’d bring me close to coming before backing off and not letting me. It was your hand that I thought of around my cock that night, Phi.” Gulf’s voice was soft but not in the shy manner that I was used to. It was soft in a manner that was downright sexy and had my orgasm slamming into me as he spoke. “I only came when I thought you would let me.”

His name is what I groaned as I came, bracing a hand against the arm of the couch to stop myself from falling on top of him. My breath left me in pants, and I gazed down at the man beneath me who gazed up at me with eyes that I knew full well weren’t as innocent as they appeared to be. The smile that gave me was one that reached his eyes, his nose scrunching up in a way that made me want to kiss the tip of it for no reason at all.

“You liked hearing that.” He said.

“I told you, I like hearing you.” I countered and stole a quick kiss from him as I eased myself out of him gently. “I did, specifically, like hearing that though. Feel free to tell me things like that as much as you want in the future.”

He laughed as I stood and left to discard the condom, coming back with a hand towel to clean him up with, doing so gently. When I felt his gaze on me, I lifted my gaze to him and quirked a brow at him, tipping my head to the side, waiting for him to say what was on his mind.

“Why did you wait so long to tell me?”

“I couldn’t figure out how to tell you. It wasn’t awkward to hear at all, but I knew it would embarrass you to know you’d been heard. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” I said.

“Be honest. You felt embarrassed that you had to tell me, didn’t you? The smooth, sexy P’Mew listened to someone doing something sexual over the phone.” His voice was teasing and, damn it, I felt my cheeks going pink. “You felt shy about it, didn’t you? Hmm?

I held up the towel in my hand as I stood up, heading off towards the staircase. “Going to go put this in the laundry basket. I’ll bring you a fresh pair of boxers too. You… Just stay there.” I could hear his laugh as I went up the stairs, the one that was a little higher pitched than his normal one. The one I was quite fond of.

“P’Mewwww!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Mew, who spilt the tea that the two of them took a shower together recently, there will be a shower scene coming up in the future. I heard about that and the idea for it just popped into my head. bRoThErS wHo LoVe EaCh OtHeR. 
> 
> On a side note: Would any of you be interested in a Mewgulf AU where Mew is still an actor but Gulf has been his fan from the beginning, thus they meet this way and their relationship develops from there? I had the idea pop into my head about a week ago but I'm not sure if anyone would be interested in it?
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, for your comments, and your support. It means a lot! Stay safe and see you in the next chapter!


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm giving you a special chapter here because it just randomly came into my head and I wanted to write it for you. I hope you all enjoy it! You'll still get another one later this week <3

** Gulf **

It was strange, being curled up in bed at my condo by myself. I had become used to being with Phi, becoming used to curling up next to him to drift off to sleep. Sometimes I would be snuggled into his chest, other times he would draw me back against him and I would fall asleep with the feel of his lips on the back of my neck. Not everything we did was sexual, sometimes just being together and laying together made us happy. My head on his chest or our fingers lace together, just something. In some form, he was there.

Now he wasn’t.

He’d had to go on a trip, and I’d known it was coming up. It was why I had been extra clingy to him during the event the day he’d left, because I knew I would be without him for a few days. I knew I would miss him, but I hadn’t expected it to be hard to fall asleep on my own like it was.

I had been trying to nearly two hours with no luck, _something_ just feeling off. Missing. I sat up with a soft sigh, shoving my blanket away in a frustrated movement. Just laying there, looking at the ceiling wasn’t doing any good, wasn’t accomplishing anything. All it was doing was annoying me, just getting on my nerves. I glanced at the bag that sat on top of my dresser, gazing at it for what felt like minutes before standing up and walking over to it slowly.

To hell with it.

I pulled the shirt I wore off and threw it to the side before I dug into the bag and pulled out a sweater, pulling it on. The sleeves were a little too long, it was a little too big on me. It wasn’t the typical dark color that I liked to wear, but a light blue one, not that I cared as I crawled back into bed. I pulled the collar of the sweater up and breathed in the scent that clung to it.

It smelled like P’Mew.

Which made sense since it belonged to him. We’d stopped by his house before he’d headed off to the airport and while he’d been grabbing something from the bathroom, I had… borrowed this from him. I would return it when he got back. I could slip it into his laundry and he would be none the wiser that it had been missing for a short while.

I missed him.

Glancing at the clock, I knew it was too late to call in hopes of catching him before he went to bed to talk for a few minutes. By now he would be asleep, but I could all and listen to his voicemail. The videos on the internet just weren’t the same, they didn’t bring me the warmth and comfort that I was seeking. I would know, I had tried them earlier to no avail.

I grabbed my phone and called him, holding it to my ear, waiting for it to flip to the message that I had only heard a few times before. When I called, I rarely got his voicemail since he always picked up for me.

“Can’t sleep?”

That.. wasn’t part of the message. I blinked a little and glanced at my phone in confusion. Where was the recorded message and why wasn’t it playing?

“Gulf? You alright?”

Oh. He’d actually answered the phone. Heat rushed into my cheeks and I gripped the phone tighter, pressing in it closer to my ear like that would do something helpful for me. Not what I had been expecting to have happen, but well… here I was now.

“Y-Yeah. I didn’t think you would answer. I’m sorry for waking you.” I said softly, lowering the collar of the sweater so my voice wouldn’t be muffled.

“I wasn’t sleeping. Finding it hard to sleep. I don’t have someone here that likes to wiggle around.” He replied with a soft laugh. He frequently told me that I moved around in my sleep, but I wasn’t aware of it. I had begun to stop recently though, he’d told me, only shifting a little bit now.

We were adapting to each other gradually.

“I can’t sleep either. I don’t have someone clinging onto me.” I said with a small smile. We both held onto each other, but that was beside the point.

“It’s a mutual cling, thank you very much. You, for one, wiggle closer if you’re too far away.” He countered with a soft chuckle. I couldn’t see him but I could picture his smile in my mind, the soft look that would be in his eyes.

I couldn’t help but smile. “You pull me closer, you know. You have your own thoughts on what’s close enough too.”

“This is too far away.” He murmured and I nodded in agreement. This was too far away and I hated it. I wanted to be able to reach out and touch him and I couldn’t. “Can we video call? I want to see your face.”

I really should have answered him before I hung up, but I didn’t. Just ended the call and immediately called him back through FaceTime, turning the bedside lamp on as I waited for him to answer. He was laughing softly when he did, shaking his head a little at me. The smile on his face make my heart flutter, made me smile in return.

“You could have said something before hanging up on me.” He said and my cheeks went warm. He ran his fingers through his hair, and I wanted to reach through the phone and smack his hand. It was _really_ distracting when he did that. Even when he did it on Instagram, I had the urge to smack his hands away from his hair, to scold him for doing it. It was hard for me to not focus on his hands when he did it.

I knew what they felt like running through my hair, what they felt like on other places on my body. They were _very_ distracting hands.

“It’s a relief to see your face, _tua-eng_.”

My gaze bounced over the screen, taking in the sight of him. I could see his bare shoulders and knew he wasn’t wearing a shirt. Suddenly I wanted to hide beneath the blanket I’d so cruelly shoved away earlier. Just how long was this man going to possess the ability to make me flustered and shy by just looking at him? It didn’t seem fair sometimes.

“I miss you, Phi.” I said and shifted my phone about as I made myself more comfortable on my side. The smile he gave me sent my stomach fluttering. He brought his phone closer to his face and for some silly reason I lent back away from me own phone, the tips of my ears going red. Like he was going to be able to do anything through a _phone_.

“Tilt your phone down, Gulf.” When my eyes went wide with surprise, he laughed, his smile making my heart flutter in response to the sound, a sound that had easily become one of my favorites to hear. “Not for that reason. Are you wearing one of my sweaters?”

I tipped the phone back so all he could see was the ceiling of my room as my face went warm. I pressed my free hand against my face, the sleeve covering my hand, so his scent slid around me like a warm blanket. With his sweater on and his scent wrapping around me, the sound of his voice made it feel like he was here with me.

“If it is, keep it. I like it when you wear my shirts and if it makes you feel better, that makes me happy.” He said softly and I tilted the phone towards me slowly, angling it so he could see that it was his. On instinct, I snuggled deeper into the sweater, breathing in his scent. Watched as his gaze softened and his smile turned into the one that he only ever gave to me. Other people may _see_ it, but it was only ever meant for me, only ever directed at me.

“It smells like you.” I said and pressed my lips to the sleeve lightly. While it made it a little better, it also made me miss him a little more, but it was better than having no part of him here with me. “It makes it better, it makes me feel like you’re hugging me while you’re away.”

“It can’t take my job or I’ll have to take it away from you.” He said and I gave him a small grin. No one would be able to take his place, to take his job, let alone a simple sweater being able to take it away from him.

I ran my thumb over the screen, over his cheek as he settled himself down on his pillow. I could see how tired he was, knew I needed to send him off to sleep so he could get some rest before his schedule. Maybe having spoken with him, having seen his face, and having his scent around me would help lull me to sleep.

“You should go to sleep. I don’t want you to be exhausted at your schedule tomorrow, Phi.” I said. “I’ll try and sleep too. I think I’ll be able to now. It feels like you’re here with me now.” I held my hand up and let the sleeve of his sweater dangle around a little. I agreed with people, it was amusing to know that I was taller than Phi, but he was bigger than I was.

It was something I liked, though.

“Do me one favor, Gulf.” I nodded, not even hesitating before agreeing. Not even waiting to hear what he wanted. “Don’t touch yourself while I’m gone. I want to do it when I get back and I want you sensitive for me. Will you do that for me?”

Heat crept over the back of my neck now and I bit my lip as I nodded again. I would never admit it to him, but that had already been my intent. To do just that, to be ready and on edge for him when he returned to me. He didn’t have to request it of me, It was something he was already going to get.

“Good. Go to sleep, baby. I miss you, but I’ll be back soon. I promise.”

I ended the call with him, setting my phone on the bedside table, turning my back to it with a smile on my face. I gripped onto the sleeves of the sweater, rubbing a hand over my chest as a warm feeling began to spread outwards from there. It was a feeling that I’d never felt before, a feeling that felt warm and safe yet terrifying at the same time. Not terrifying in the sense that I wanted to turn around and run away from it, but terrifying in the sense that it was new and unexplored, something I’d never stepped into the realm of.

I’d stepped into the realm of puppy love before. This… this wasn’t puppy love. Not this overwhelming, warm and safe feeling. Not this new, terrifying experience that I was about to go stumbling my way through. I didn’t think for a second that I would stumble my way through it alone.

Slowly I rolled onto my back and gazed up at my ceiling once more, Phi’s scent wrapped around my like a warm, soothing blanket. A soft laugh escaped me as my vision blurred and I pressed the heel of my hands to my eyes and tears slid free, following the path gravity pulled them in. These weren’t sad tears or tears of fear. I wasn’t sad or scared. I laughed, rubbing my hands over my face, gazing up at my ceiling as I let happy tears flow free.

I was stupid, happy in love with P’Mew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gulf is a soft baby and no one will convince me otherwise. And I don't know how FaceTime works, so if you don't have to hang up to switch to it, forgive me. I don't have an iPhone. I Googled but all it told me was how to start one, not if you could switch during. Google was like, "Ha. Embarrass yourself. I don't care. Sucker."


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To those of you who I made cry before, I'd say I'm sorry but... as a writer, I'd be lying if I said it. At least it wasn't a sad cry? That counts for something, right?

** Mew **

Oh, it had been difficult to not pepper his face with soft kisses the second I saw him or sink into a soft kiss that would have lasted minutes and likely lead to other activities, but we saw each other again for the first time on the set for a live so none of that had been an option. I had touched his arm, caressed the back of his hand gently countless times though. All actions that were normal for us, actions that didn’t raise eyebrows when they happened. People were used to us being touchy.

All I had wanted to do was touch him, hold him.

The ride home, even he viewed it as his home now, had been difficult. At least there I could hold his hand and that’s exactly what I had done. Fingers laced together as we talked about the days I had been away. Three days didn’t seem like a long time, it really wasn’t, but when we were used to seeing each other every day, had gotten used to being together so often it had felt like so much longer.

It was funny, the first time we had been together it would have made more sense for our hands to be on each other the second we walked through the door with the promises of what was to come that night, but nothing like that had happened that night. It had been slow and patient, a gradual build up to everything. Today, however, the second the door clicked shut behind me, Gulf launched himself at me.

Not in a sexual sense though. His arms went around my neck, his legs finding their place around my waist as he lifted himself off the ground. My hands went to his ass to support his weight as his forehead pressed against mine. His eyes were full of emotions as he gazed at me, emotions that he’d had to keep hidden away during the day. A task that had been incredibly hard for the both of us.

“I missed you. Three days is too long.” He said as I sat on the couch with him, settling him into my lap. He straddled me, pressing himself in close and I smiled. I knew exactly how he felt. I knew how he felt when we had first seen each other and hadn’t been able to do what we wanted. We had hugged, people were used to that, but there had been so much more that we had both craved to do. Things that we were free to do now.

“Kiss me? Please.” He said softly. He had tipped his head up towards mine, bringing our lips close together but leaving me to close the distance. I did so happily, bringing our lips together in a gentle kiss that we both sank into slowly. It was a gentle kiss, a slow movement of lips against each other as he lent into me, his fingers sliding into my hair.

I had missed this. Not touching him or kissing him, which I certainly had, but the feeling of being complete that I felt when I was with him. That I had found the missing piece of myself and I didn’t need to keep looking for that something or someone to make me complete anymore because here he was, fitting together perfectly with me already.

An unexpected completion to my life. I hadn’t been expecting him to show up in my life, but I would be eternally grateful that he had come into it.

His lips parted, accepted the gentle brush of my tongue into his mouth with a soft whimper and I slid my hands up his back, dipping my hands beneath his shirt. I felt the shiver that went through his body, felt his fingers tighten in my hair, heard the soft whine. When I slid a hand around to his stomach, his muscles jumped beneath my touch and he turned his head to the side as I slid my hand lower, his breath coming in soft pants.

I pressed my lips to his neck, felt his pulse beat rapidly there as he drew in breath quickly. As I palmed him slowly through his pants, his breath hitched and he whined lowly, his hips pressing closer to my touch, wanting my touch, wanting that friction that I could give to him. He was ready and willing for me, needy.

“I want you in our bed, Gulf. Will you let me have you there, baby?” I asked softly. Ours, not mine. Never just mine anymore. Even as he was nodding, he was easing back to stand up, taking my hand as I stood with him. He laced his fingers with mine as he lead the way towards the bedroom.

The trip there was quick and once we were there, I drew him in close to me once more, dropping a kiss to the back of his hand. Color touched his cheeks as my lips moved to his knuckles and I chuckled softly. He grew shy easily, over the smallest things sometimes. It was an endearing trait that he had, something about him that I adored and would never grow tired of seeing. It could be twenty years from now and when color touched his cheeks, the tips of his ears it would still be as charming as it had been the first time I had seen it.

Gently, I drew him into me so I could capture his lips once more, none of what I did rushed or demanding. I wanted him, wanted him badly, but I would let the anticipation for what was to come build and edge higher. It was something we both wanted, rushing it would be stupid, pointless. When we both got to where we wanted, if it was rushed it wouldn’t be nearly as pleasing as it would be if I had drawn it out.

Besides, when I drew it out, coaxed him as high as I could take him, I got to hear the rewarding noises from his lips, got to feel him quiver beneath my touch.

I released his hand and pulled his shirt off, tossing it to the floor to be forgotten about before easing him to the bed beneath him, both of us scooting further up on it. He accepted my weight atop him, much like he had the first time, our lips meeting once more, I knew what kissing could do to him, how sensitive he could become from kissing. Taking him to that extent, to the point of trembling and whining was a favorite pastime of mine.

A pastime which I indulged myself in, kissing him until I felt his body tremble beneath mine, felt his hips squirm against mine. Gently, I pressed a kiss to his lower lip, enjoying the way his lips were a little swollen from having mien against them for so long, fond of the way his cheeks were flushed, how that flush was creeping down to spread over his chest. He whined my name softly, his fingers curling into the hem of my shirt when I lent back.

“You want more, I know baby. I’m going to give you more.” I dropped a kiss to his chest before moving myself so I could remove his pants and boxers, his hips lifting off the bed swiftly so I could do so. Those pieces of clothes joined his shirt on the floor and I moved down between his legs, pressing a light kiss to the mark that was still there on his inner thigh. It hadn’t faded yet since I had made sure a fresh one had been left before I had gone off on my trip. In a way, he always carried a reminder of me around with him. He was always willing, always told me if it was too faded for his liking.

I stroked the top of his leg as I slid it over my shoulder before I took him into my mouth. The low moan he let out was a sound that I had missed during my short trip, I coaxed another one from him as I drew more of him into my mouth as I slid down his length. As his breath left him on a shudder, I glanced up towards him and saw a sight that I had missed as well. His hands fisted in my bedsheets, turning them disheveled in his gripping of them. It was a sight I was all too fond of, seeing him grabbing hold of them beneath me as I moved, tugging and pulling at them as he rode on his waves of pleasure.

Normally I was a very tidy person, but this was a mess that I didn’t mind. One I preferred to a neat and tidy area. I was the sole cause of it, the cause of his writhing and undoing. It was a beautiful sight.

This taste of him on my tongue was bitter as precum slipped free, but since it was Gulf, it was a taste I adored, one that I would never tire of experiencing or being the cause of. I slid back, sucking at the head of his cock in gentle pulls, causing a hand to grip my hair as a cry left his throat. His legs shook and I stroked the top of one soothingly, nursing the vein in his cock slowly. My actions were always enough to give him pleasure, never enough to tip him over that edge.

It wasn’t until I heard his breath hitch, had his hips lifting into me in search of further entrance to my mouth that I eased back and released him, slid his leg down off of my shoulder so his legs were parted wide for me. I moved over him long enough to retrieve the bottle of lube before returning to my position, coating my fingers and warmed it between them slowly then began the process of preparing him for me.

This was something I normally would have done while I took him into my mouth to speed up the process, but this time I watched as the pleasure flitted over his face, as he arched his back before rocking down against my fingers. When his eyes started to drift close, I shook my head at him, coaxed him to look at me with a gentle rock of my fingers deeper inside of them, making them open wider in surprise.

“Don’t close your eyes, baby. Look at me. There you go. That’s my good boy.” I knew he enjoyed the soft praises I gave him, had learned it by the way his body tightened down around me whenever I gave them to him, and his skin flushed in pleasure. I would give him as many as he wanted, for as long as he wanted. Whatever brought him pleasure, whatever made him happy. “You’re beautiful like this, Gulf. You have no idea how beautiful and you give me the privilege of seeing it.”

His response was cut off by the cry that came from him as I struck the bundle of nerves buried inside of him, his fingers curling into the shirt that I still wore. I knew what his response was going to be though. I was going to be the only one to ever get to see him like this, he didn’t want anyone else to see him like this. He had said it to me before and it made me happy beyond measure. I never wanted anyone but me to see him in this state, to see him this exposed and vulnerable, to have this level of his trust. I wasn’t selfish enough to want to be the only one he trusted because he needed to be able to trust others.

This level of trust was different, went to a new, deeper level. It wasn’t something you shared with everyone. This level of trust I _did_ want to be the only one he shared it with.

Gulf reached out to me, gripping the hem of my shirt, giving soft tugs to it as he rocked himself down onto my fingers, his breath leaving him on soft trembles, his body shaking beneath me. I watched him, his lower lip caught between his teeth and a whimper escaped him, his knuckles starting to turn white with how hard he was gripping onto my shirt.

“I know, baby. I’m not going to leave you like this, I promise. Phi is going to take care of you, you can trust him to do that. Right?

Gulf nodded without a moment’s hesitation, completely trust shining in his eyes as he looked at me. For as long as I could remember, there had been nothing but trust when he looked at me. Even when I had been slowly taking down his walls that he had up, when he glanced at me there had been a level of trust. Like he knew, on an instinctive level, that I wasn’t there to hurt him. That I meant no harm to him, that I wasn’t a threat to him, and he could trust me. I may have been the one to approach him first, to begin to build the friendship that had brought us to where we were, but he had been the one to extend his hand to me first.

Despite everything he had heard, there would have been no way he wouldn’t have heard it, he had been aware of my previous series, he had been willing to extend his hand to me. Had been there with a shy smile and a trusting heart, willing to know me first instead of listening to whispered words from people that he didn’t know. While I had been carefully bringing down his walls, he had been doing to same to me. Carefully bringing my own down so he could see past them and offer a soothing touch that I hadn’t been aware I’d longed for.

It had been easy, so easy, to fall in love with him. The man with the shy smile and gentle heart. It had terrified me but left me with a warm feeling at the same time. I didn’t know what to do with myself when I had realized it, so I kept it to myself. Not well, but I kept it to myself. My gazes towards him had turned more adoring and softer, but that was something beyond my control. How were you supposed to stop yourself from looking at someone you loved like they were your entire world, when that’s exactly how you felt?

My departure from him was long enough to remove my clothes and prepare myself for him by rolling a condom down over myself and covering myself with more lube to ensure I wouldn’t hurt him, then I was returning to my knelt position between his legs. He hooked his legs over my hips as I lined myself up with him, shuddered out in pleasure as I sank into him slowly, his whine of pleasure filling the room. There would never be a sound as beautiful as that, there would never be a piece of artwork as beautiful as the sight of him as he was at any point in time.

He was the peak of everything.

When he held his arms open for me, I moved down over him, letting my weight rest on my forearms so he could wrap his arms around my back, his lips finding my neck as I built a slow pace against him. The combination of his whimpers in my ear and his nails grazing over my skin made me thrust faster, strike deeper inside of him. His whimpers became louder, his hands traveling higher on my back, going flat against my skin as his fingers flexed over my skin, nails grazing over me. I kissed his temple softly, drew soft words from him that made my heart stumble in my chest.

“I love you, Phi.”

I don’t think he had meant to say them, the moment having drawn them from his lips, but they had been on his mind, in his heart. They wouldn’t have come from him if he hadn’t thought about them, if they hadn’t been on his mind at some point or at the moment in time. For a moment, I wondered if he was unsure of how to say it, what moment would have been best to say it in. The moment wouldn’t have mattered to me. A casual moment, a romantic moment, a completely random moment. None of it would have mattered. Just hearing it mattered.

I eased back to gaze down at him, saw his ears had gone read the with rest of his face. I watched him, pressed my forehead against his gently and closed my eyes as emotions swirled inside of my heart, threatening to overwhelm me. I stroked his cheek not only to soothe him, but to soothe myself as well, to help settle my heart back to a reasonable pace.

“Say it again. Please.”

“I love you, Phi.” He said softly. “I-I’m stupid, happy in love with you and it scares me because I don’t know what to do with any of what I feel. I feel warm and safe with you, but it terrifies me because it’s all new, but I know I won’t have to go through any of it alone. I’ll have you with me.”

This time it was my breath that left me on a shudder as I tried to reign my emotions in, tried to stop them from overwhelming and getting the better of me. I felt Gulf’s hand stroke my back slowly, felt his lips touch my cheek softly and my body shuddered the fight becoming harder to win, the struggle kicking up as I worked harder to keep my composure. For a long time, I hadn’t expected to find that one to call my own after what had happened and things had turned against me, hadn’t expected things to turn around and look up again. Had felt lucky enough to find someone that would work with me again

And now I was here with that same person willing to hand their heart over to me, willing to accept mine in return. Had unwavering trust in my feelings for him, unwavering trust in me.

“It’s alright, Phi. I’ve got you and I won’t let go.” He murmured softly, having slid his arms from around my back to cup my face, his thumbs brushing under my eyes which were damp. When had that happened? When had my emotions pushed past the control I had managed to have a thin hold on? Normally I would have shaken my head, said that I was fine, but Gulf knew me well, knew me better than others. He knew there were times I could be emotional.

I let out a slow breath and he kissed my forehead, his fingers trailing a gentle path through my hair as I looked at him. There was nothing but understanding in his gaze and I wondered what he had felt when he had gone through his own realization that he was in love. Had he been confused or had there been a simple acceptance of the fact, an knowledge that there was no point in fighting that feeling?

“You know how to surprise a person.” I said, pressing my forehead against his shoulder. If the words had ever been exchanged between the two of us and I thought they would have been in the future, I had been expecting it to be me to say it first. Gulf wasn’t one to express things like that, he was quiet and shy, not someone that a person would accuse of being affectionate though he showed that he cared in his own ways.

He stroked my hair slowly, his touch gentle. It was odd to think about the fact now that there had been a point in time when he hadn’t known how to be gentle, that he hadn’t known how to touch someone like that. He’d had to been coached through it. Now it came naturally when he did it with me, like he had been doing it for years and could do it with anyone. Which he couldn’t. If he tried, he got stiff again.

“I was the only thing that I was thinking about. How much I adore and love you. I wanted to say it but wasn’t sure how, then suddenly it was just spilling out.” He flushed, wrapped his legs around my waist, effectively locking me to him. “I’m impulsive sometimes, you know that.”

I thought about the number of times I’d turned around to see him grabbing an exposed lightbulb simply because it was there and nodded. Yes, I was aware of this. I smiled, kissed him softly and pushed my hips against him, easing myself deeper inside of him. His lips parted and he inhaled softly, his fingers trailing down to grip onto my shoulders.

“I know. It doesn’t matter how you said it, just that you said it. It doesn’t matter how often you say it, I’ll know it.” I said softly. I watched him, my favorite thing to do as I took him, hitting the bundle of nerves, felt his nails sink into my shoulders.

“Y-You’re mine now.” He gasped as I hit them again, his arms sliding around to hold onto my back, pulling himself closer to me. His breath hit my neck in soft pants, a tremble rocking his body. “You’re my Phi.”

“I’ve been yours for a long time now, Yai Nong.” I replied softly. I had been his for months now, would never be anyone else’s. I had handed over my heart to him and there would never come a time where I would request it back, never come a time where I would want him to return it to me. It had found it’s rightful place, a place that I knew it would be safe and cherished at. “I’m going to go faster, is that alright?”

I only moved faster when he nodded, encouraged me to by tightening his hold on my waist. I moved my hips faster, moving deeper inside of him, drawing out soft whimpers and whines when I hit his bundle of nerves, his body trembling harder each time they were struck. His nails bit into my skin and I knew that marks had been left, little crescent moon shapes left imprinted on my skin.

Hopefully they wouldn’t last long or be very noticeable. He’d done it before and they’d disappeared rapidly. I had no doubt in my mind if Gulf didn’t have to worry about the marks being seen, there would have been scratch marks on my back a number of times. He was always running his fingers over my back the closer he got, I had felt him close his hands into fists against my back more than once.

“P-Phi… I want it… Please…” He whined and moved his hands to the sheets quickly, sinking his fingers into them before he did the same to my skin. I moved my gaze along his face slowly, saw the way he bit on his lower lip, the flush of his skin, felt the way he rocked himself down to meet my hips. I took his hands and moved them above his head, lacing my fingers with his, enjoyed the way he clung to them and gazed up at me.

“You want me to make you come?” I asked and he nodded quickly. I stole a soft kiss from him, moved to speak softly into his ear. “Say it for me, Gulf. Tell Phi want you want. You can do it.”

The way he squirmed against me was torture, his breath coming in soft pants as he arched into me. There were only a few times that he had said specifically what he wanted from me and it was when he had been caught up in the moment, the words coming from him unprompted and without thought. When he said them though, it was thrilling, an indescribably arousing thing to experience.

“Make me come, P’Mew… Please…” He whined it softly, a soft plea that I couldn’t say no to, that I couldn’t deny to him. I gave him what he desired, driving him higher with quick, deep thrusts that he rocked in time with, My name came from his lips on a cry as his body tensed and his nails sunk into my hands. At one point, I would have slowed my pace, soothed him through his orgasm as he trembled beneath me, but I had stopped doing that when he told me he liked it when I took him through it, when I kept moving inside of him.

I still watched his expressions, watched his reactions for indication that I needed to stop or slow, but he gave none. He let up on his hold on my waist, drawing his legs back with a soft whine, and I slid my hands free of his own, moving my hands to the back of his knees to hold the back. I glanced at him, seeking permission, waited for him to nod before doing what I desired, what my body urged me to do. No words were needed, so often we could communicate without them.

As his hands went above him to brace against the headboard, I thrust harder into him, bringing a soft cry from him. The first time I had moved harder on him, I had worried that I had hurt him, that he hadn’t liked it until he had giggled at me and told me that he was just fine with it. Unless I was caught up in the moment, I always asked permission before going harder, but then when it came to Gulf there was rarely a time when I _didn’t_ ask for permission to do anything.

He took everything I gave to him, took the hard way I thrust into him, going deep with each move forward, his soft whimpers and moans wrapping around me. The way he gazed at me, heat and desire burning in his eyes, his lower lip caught between his teeth sent a shudder racing down my spine as my orgasm crashed into me, a groan escaping me. I released his legs, letting them slide to the bed as I braced my hands against the bed to stop myself from falling forward onto him, panting softly, nuzzling his palm affectionately when he stroked my cheek gently.

“You always handle me so well.” I murmured softly and he laughed, making me glance at him with a raised brow. He tipped his head a little at me.

“I’m always prepared first.” He replied, squirming faintly when I eased myself from him slowly, dropping a kiss to his forehead. I would always make sure he was prepared, physically and verbally. There was no fun or pleasure in startling or scaring him. No good would come from either option.

I left long enough to disappear into the bathroom, disposing of the condom and to clean myself up, returning with a towel to do the same to him. “You’ll always be well prepared with me. You don’t have to wo- What in the world are you doing, Gulf?”

When I glanced back up towards him as I walked back into the room to see him hanging off the edge of the bed, arm stretched out as he reached for his pants that I had tossed away when I’d pulled them off of him. He was doing his best to keep himself up off the bed, not wanting to dirty the sheets by dropping onto his stomach where he had come over himself. Upon hearing my voice, he looked over his shoulder to me, a sheepish smile appearing on his face.

“You threw my pants too far away. I can’t reach them.” He said, pointing to them, the arm that held him up beginning to shake from the effort. Gulf was a strong person, but his muscles always went loose on him after I had him for a few minutes. A little longer if I went harder on him. I pointed at the bed, an indication for him to lay back down and picked his pants up for him, bringing them over to him as I joined him on the bed again.

“Why do you need them? Running off on me?” I asked, cleaning him up gently. I knew that wasn’t what he was doing, chuckled when he shook his head quickly. “I know. I’m just teasing you. Why do you need them, though?”

I watched him with curiosity as he dug into one of his pockets and pulled something out, clutching it tightly in his hand. It was small enough that I hadn’t noticed it when I had picked up his pants and it could be hidden in his hand as he held it tightly shut. He sat up slowly, his gaze bouncing around the room, a telltale sign that he was feeling shy about something. While questions burned, I kept quiet, letting him settle himself.

“You don’t have to wear it if you don’t want to. I don’t know if you’ll like it. I got it for you though.” He mumbled, pushing his hand into mine, letting something warm and small fall into my open hand. When he pulled his hand back, I saw that it was a ring, one that was virtually identical to the one that I normally wore on my thumb. I tipped my head to the side and picked it up, saw the inscription curving along the inside of the band.

The date we met on one side, a date we both held close to our hearts. _Tua-eng_ on the opposite side. The name I had taken to calling him in private, though I had slipped up on public a few times. I turned it around slowly in my hand, looking at the inscription again, a small smile slipping onto my lips. I didn’t think about it, but my silence must have made him nervous since he reached forward to take it back from me.

“You don’t have to keep it. It’s fine. Just give it back.” He mumbled, the tips of his ears having gone red. I moved my hand out of his reach, moving the ring out of his reach as well and lent into him, bringing my face close to his.

“This is mine now.” I pressed a soft kiss to his lips before I slid the ring that I wore off and set it on the bedside table. The one Gulf gave to me slid on easily, fit perfectly like the others did. Lifting my gaze towards him, I lifted a brow at him, watched his eyes slide away from mine.

“I b-borrowed one of your other ones to make sure the size was right.” He said softly. “I put it back when I was done with it so you wouldn’t notice it was missing. I wanted you to have something of mine. You’re too big for my clothes. So I got this for you. I didn’t know if you’d like it.”

I watched his cheeks go red, watched as his gaze darted around the room as he talked nervously. He was so shy sometimes, not knowing how to respond to things even after he’d done them. I adored it about him. I slid my hand to the back of his neck, drawing him into me and kissed him softly, stroking the back of his neck soothingly as I did. Slowly, I felt him begin to relax beneath my touch, felt the nervous energy leave him as he sank into the kiss.

I eased back, resting my forehead against his, my fingers trailing a soft path over the back of his neck still. There were many things that I wanted to say to him, none of them were things I knew how to put into words just yet. In time, I would begin to know how to say them and when I did, I would tell him. I would tell him how much I adored him, how much I loved him, how much I would cherish him. Until then, I would show him in everything I did.

“I love it, Gulf. You don’t need to feel shy. Now I’ll always have a part of you with me.” I caressed his cheek gently. “I’ll keep it safe, just like I’ll keep you safe, _tua-eng_.”

I let him hide his face in my neck as his shyness overtook him, his arms coming around my waist as he scooted himself closer to me. I trailed my fingertips over his back in a gentle pattern as I gazed at the ring he had given me. In the future, I was sure it would be on another finger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They could do the ring thing and we'd never know.
> 
> Gulf gets... bolder in the next chapter. I regret nothing. We all know Gulf is just as mischievous as he is cute and adorable. There's a reason for it, though. It also leads to, we'll call it a payback chapter from Mew. Then there's just this completely adorable, cute chapter that I smiled like an idiot the entire time writing. So you all have those to look forward to.
> 
> I'm excited for the adorable chapter. I think you'll all really like that one. Think playful Mew and Gulf.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright... Maybe I want to give you the playful chapter sooner so you get this chapter sooner so I can give that one sooner.
> 
> And I appreciate every single one of your comments. They make me smile so much, you guys have no idea how much they mean to me. I always used to doubt if I was any good at writing, if anyone would like anything that I wrote. You guys have given me so much more confidence, you have no idea. It means the world to me. I go back and read your comments if I'm ever feeling sad and you all make me feel so much better. You've made me cry a few times with your sweet words. Thank you all so much <3 I wish I could throw endless love at all of you.

** Gulf **

I wasn’t sulking. Not really. Sulking would have implied that I was upset about something, which I wasn’t. Maybe a little frustrated about it, but not upset about it. I could figure out how to change it. It couldn’t be _that_ hard to do. Phi did it all the time, after all. There was no reason I couldn’t do it too.

He _always_ won those stupid staring games. I could do it too. I just had to figure out how.

I propped my head in my hand and pursed my lips as I thought, head tipped to the side a little. It wasn’t hard for me to figure out _why_ I always lost. I got flustered by him. When he got close to me, my mind drifted to… places. He always looked at me in a certain way that sent my mind racing back to the last time he had touched me or he smirked at me which also sent my mind racing back to the last time he’d used his mouth on me, sometimes he would place a hand on my knee, making me think about the way his hands would slide over my skin when he was inside of me. Then I had to break eye contact with him before things went crashing to danger territory.

Tapping my lips with my finger, I glanced at Phi who sat next to me, engrossed in a book. We did this sometimes, simply enjoyed the company of each other, each of us doing our own thing. Sometimes he would read or work on his schoolwork while I played on my phone or did my own work. Sometimes we would watch TV together while curled up on the couch, just enjoying being together. As I gazed at him, I wondered if I should try his technique. Send his mind rushing back to something I had done previous.

That would just mean doing something that would make him flustered.

As I gazed at him, I ran through a number of possibilities in my head, none of which seemed like they would play out to my advantage. They all turned into Phi having the upper hand over me and turning me into a flustered mess the next time that game was brought up. I would be taken back to the memory of Phi hovering over me as he gazed down at me with his heated gaze that always sent my body humming.

_Don’t let him be over you then._ I thought to myself. When I thought about it, it was always the memory of Phi moving over me that sent me crashing down to defeat. It happened to be my favorite place to be, beneath him while he moved over me. I liked watching the way his muscles flexed, the look in his eyes when he gazed at me…

I tore my gaze away from him and looked at the wall in front of me, my cheeks having grown warm as the thoughts drifted through my head. _That_ was why I always faced defeat in that game. That was exactly why. It wasn’t that he held a position of power, neither one of us were more “powerful” than the other in the relationship. Certainly, Phi was more dominant than I was. I was more quiet, submissive by nature. But we held the same amount of power, if one wanted to call it that. It was a steady give and take, we each gave and took as much as the other did.

He was just bolder, he did more things that could make me flustered.

Okay. Do something that would make him flustered. I could do that. That was within my abilities, right? I glanced at him again, took in his features, felt the desire for him stir as I gazed at him. It was certainly something I could try. Phi would let me try, even if he didn’t know exactly what I was doing or why I was doing it. If he knew why… he’d make it a little more difficult. If he thought I was just exploring, he’d guide me if he saw me struggling. He would never discourage me from trying something new, would always help me along if it were within his power.

I stood and Phi glanced at me for a moment before returning to his book, which I didn’t mind. I walked around to where I knew he kept a bottle of lube stashed at, slid the drawer open, retrieved the bottle and a condom, setting them quietly on top of the table. Phi was engrossed enough in his book that he didn’t notice my movements, didn’t notice as I unbuttoned the shirt I wore until it hung open or as I slid my boxers off.

His attention turned to me when I slid into his lap, straddling him and took the book from his hands, placing his bookmark in place to mark his place. His gaze turned from startled to heated as he took in the sight of me, followed the curve of my body as I reached behind me to place his book on the table. When I turned to face him again, desire was burning bright in his gaze, sending a shiver of pleasure down along my spine.

I adored it when he looked at me like that.

“What are you doing, Gulf?” He asked, his hands moving down to grip my hips as he drew me in closer to him. In an intentional move, I let the shoulders of his shirt that I wore slip down, exposing my shoulders to him, all too aware of the fact that he enjoyed it when I wore his shirts, knew that it aroused him when glimpses of skin were left exposed to him. When I bit down onto my lower lip, the grip on my hips tightened.

“I wanted Phi’s attention, but he was focused on his book.” I said, tugging at the front of his shirt gently. I knew it was a weakness of his when I acted cute, one that I played upon sometimes. His thumb stroked along my bottom lip, tugging it free and he lent in to kiss me, but I lent back away from him, pressing a fingertip over his lips gently. “Phi has to do what I want now. Okay?”

I kept my finger between our lips as I spoke, my lips brushing against it and his lips. I could see the curiosity burning in his gaze. His attention had been caught; he was interested in what I was doing. Curious to see what I was going to do next. That made two of us. I didn’t even know what I was going to do next, I was riding on impulse, taking it a step at a time to see what would unfold next. Nothing felt uncomfortable or awkward though, everything gave me a small thrill, the way he gazed at me making me feel sexier than I ever had.

And Phi always made me feel sexy, desired.

“Whatever you want, baby. You’re in charge.” He replied, dropping a soft kiss to the pad of my finger as I slid it away, making color rise in my cheeks. Always affectionate, no matter what. I lowered my head, capturing his lips with mine, slid my fingers into his hair on a slow glide as he eased me in closer to him.

Quite normally at this point, Phi would have been in control, his hands roaming as he eased me higher, teased me until he had me where he wanted me. I could feel that he wanted to do that in the way he held my hips, how his hands roamed to my ass before moving back as if he were trying to control himself. He had said I was in charge; he was determined to make true on that statement. Something I appreciated because I would likely cave to his touch if he continued for very long. His fingers were too nimble, his touch too skilled to deny for long. I would have caved

I adjusted my body against him, easing myself higher, making him tip his head back as I kept our lips together, my tongue finding entrance to his mouth when his lips parted on a moan as I gave a soft tug to his hair. Something I knew he liked. He knew me well, just as I knew him well. I kissed him as he would me, slowly, softly, easing back only when I felt a shiver travel down his body.

His gaze traveled over my face as he gazed up at me, trying to lowering his head to follow me when I dipped my head down to his neck but I kept his head back with a gentle grip on his hair. I dropped soft kisses over his neck, felt his pulse beating rapidly beneath his skin and felt a small thrill at the knowledge that I was the cause of that, that I could make him like this with just small actions like this. Because I hadn’t done much yet. I felt his hands sliding up along my sides and I returned to his lips, pressing mine softly to his.

“I’m not going to be gentle with you when I’m finally inside of you.” He warned and my breath hitched at the promise. It might have sounded like a threat to some, but nothing that came from Phi’s lips ever sounded like a threat to me. It was a promise of pleasure that would make me tremble, that would leave me clinging to him as it rocked my body, and he would hold me fast to him as he gave it to me.

“I never said I wanted you to be gentle.” I replied, biting his lip gently before pulling his shirt from his body, throwing it to the side. I dodged backwards before he could kiss me again, easing myself from his lap and moving myself down between his legs. My lips trailed from his shoulder to his chest, down along his stomach where his muscles jumped beneath my lips. When I reached the band of his boxers, he tipped my head up to look at him, desire in his eyes.

“What are you doing?” His fingers ran through my hair slowly before his hand dropped down to caress my cheek slowly. I turned my face into his hand, kissing his palm gently, curling my fingers into the band of his boxers, giving a soft tug to them. He lifted his hips enough to allow me to slide them down and off, discarding them in the same manner I had his shirt.

Tossed to the side to be forgotten about.

I didn’t give him a verbal reply, letting my actions give him the answer he was looking for. I took him into my mouth, a slow glide down drawing a soft groan from him. This wasn’t something I had done with him yet, but something I had wanted to do. It wasn’t that I hadn’t had the chance, I had. It was just that whenever the moment came around, I got distracted by nimble fingers that traveled faster than I could, was swept away by the pleasure that those nimble fingers could invoke with a few well-timed strokes. Phi was a very giving lover.

Having my chance now, I intended to savor it, to enjoy myself. To perhaps torture him as much as he enjoyed torturing me at times. Sure, I wasn’t as skilled at it as he was, but I knew what I enjoyed him doing to me. I could play off of that and learn as I went. Nothing was steady or smooth as I started, I fumbled my way along but Phi’s hand came to rest against the back of my head, guiding me gently with patient movements, his groans letting me know that I was doing things right. Gradually, he stopped guiding me and I played off of the knowledge that I held, my movements becoming smoother but by no means masterful. I would need more practice for that, which I hoped I would be able to get.

The bitter taste that filled my mouth was a surprise but not altogether unpleasant as I slid back against him, the gentle sucking motion I did causing him to grip my hair tighter. I lifted my gaze up to him and was greeted by the sight of his eyes burning with heat, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he panted.

“Get up here, Yai Nong. Let me prepare you.” He said.

I almost went. _Almost_. Slowly I shook my head, drawing him deeper into my mouth again, enjoyed the feel of his fingers tunneling into my hair as he found a new hold, one that wouldn’t hurt me as my head slid in a steady path against him. Up and down, drawing him in before easing back to repeat the process. I didn’t go fast, wasn’t sure if I could have handled the pace if I had, but the pace I moved at seemed to be effective enough as he groaned my name.

Phi tugged my hair in soft pulls that didn’t hurt but sent little thrills down my spine. His breathing came quicker, and I lifted my gaze to him to see his head dropped back against the back of the couch, his lower lip caught between his teeth much like he made me do so often. When I nursed the vein in his cock the way I enjoyed him doing to me, he groaned low and long.

“Get up here, Yai Nong. Please.”

This time I went to him, crawling up into his lap, straddling him as I settled there. His hands went to my hips, drawing me in closer and I gazed down at him, Leaving the control with me had been difficult for him, I knew that. Every part of him had wanted to touch me, to take me but he had resisted that urge and all because he had told me I was in charge. He was keeping his word to me. I lent to the side, grabbing the bottle of lube and pressed it into his hand gently.

“Make me ready for you, Phi. Only you make it feel good, I can’t do it like you.” I whined softly. It wasn’t a lie. I had tried before but couldn’t position my fingers correctly, couldn’t hit the right spots like he could. It wasn’t _horrible_ when I did it, but it wasn’t borderline pure bliss like when Phi did it.

When his fingers sank into me, they were coated in lubricant and slid inside of me with ease. A soft whimper escaped me and I pressed my cheek against his shoulder, my voice filling the room as he prepared me for himself. He didn’t rush, he never did, his movements slow and gentle as he stretched me, letting me rock down onto his fingers. He struck the bundle of nerves that I never could when I touched myself like this and I cried out, pressing my face into his neck, a hand slipping up to grip his hair, soft whines coming from me as he stroked those nerves, my body beginning to tremble against him.

This was payback for what I’d done earlier, I was sure.

“Ready, baby?” I nodded quickly, pulling myself up in his grasp as I reached for the condom, tearing it open for him, He took it from me with a soft chuckle, murmuring about how needy I was, which I ignored. I wanted him, desired him, needed him, all of the above. I wouldn’t deny it, if asked. But he hasn’t asked, so I wasn’t saying a word.

I moaned his name as he pushed inside of me, the condom in place and lubricant on to ease the way. The way he filled me was better than anything I’d felt before, there would be no better feeling than the fullness that he gave to me. The completeness that I felt with him. His hands smoothed down to my ass and he pulled me down, sinking further into me, a soft whine coming from me as I took more of him inside of me.

“Remember what I said, Yai Nong?” He asked softly and I nodded my head, shifting my grip on him instinctively, holding onto him firmly. He wouldn’t if I had told him no, but I wanted him to, craved the feel of him moving hard against me. “Good boy. Hold onto me like that, don’t let go. I’ve got you too, I won’t let you go either.”

He didn’t let go either. An arm slid around my waist, anchoring me to him before his hard thrusts started, his other hand resting against my ass. I gladly and willingly took what he gave to me, whimpering his name when he struck the bundles of nerves, gripping onto the back of the couch when the urge to sink my nails into his back became too strong. Stupid, annoying inability to not mark him. I hated it.

Sometimes I wanted to do it anyway.

I dropped my head back when he slid his hand over my skin, jerking my hips closer to him, pleasure jolting through my body at the sudden movement. My heart slammed in my chest, my breath coming rapidly, and I knew I was stumbling closer to that edge, so close to be able to topple over it into bliss. The edge that he could send me over at any moment that he desired.

I tunneled my fingers into his hair slowly and eased my body higher than his, making him lift his gaze up towards me as I sank back down onto him, my breath leaving me on shaky pants. The way he gazed at me, eyes full of desire and adoration made me ache with need and feel warm with love. No matter how intense our sessions got, how lost we got in the moment, there was always a deep sea of love to sink into afterwards.

“Make me come, Phi. Please.” I touched my forehead to his, my breath hitching as I sank down onto him slowly again before rising up again. “ _Tua-eng_ wants to come for Phi.”

His gaze traveled over my face as he looked up at me, and I wondered what he was thinking. Wondered if he had enjoyed the change of pace that I had thrown at him. From his reactions to everything, it seemed as if he had.

I wasn’t ready when he gripped my hips, pulled me down again him. Wasn’t ready when he struck the bundle of nerves in a swift motion like he knew exactly how to do it every time. I wasn’t ready, but oh how I enjoyed it. Enjoyed the wave of pleasure that rushed over me, stealing the breath from my lungs, making me fumble for the back of the couch once more for something to hold onto that I couldn’t hurt.

He drove me over that edge with hard thrusts that had me whining and whimpering. When I reached that edge, went over it, I cried out his name, let my body tremble as his arms came around me to hold me. No matter what, he wouldn’t let me fall, would always remind me that he was there to hold me up after.

Oh, how I loved him.

“Look at how good you did, baby. My beautiful, _tua-eng_.” He dropped a kiss to my temple and I caught my breath in soft gasps. “Can you handle more? Yes? So stubborn, aren’t you? Catch your breath for me first.”

It was no surprise to either of us that I was stubborn, I’d known that for years and he’d learned it quickly enough after meeting me. I gave him a small grin when he said it which he chuckled at as I steadied my breathing. It took me a few seconds, but I braced my hands against the wall when it no longer felt like someone was holding my air supply hostage from me. That surprise had done a good job of snapping it out of my body.

I didn’t give him the chance to ask me if I was ready, capturing his lips with mine and he took that as the permission that he needed. He drove into me hard and fast, his hands traveling down to my ass to hold me as he did. I kept our lips together until I had to break away, had to gasp out in pleasure, a soft whimper escaping me.

“Look at me, Phi.” I took a page out of his book when his thrusts became harder, deeper, giving me a sign that he was close. His gaze lifted to mine and I gazed down at him, biting onto my lower lip in an intentional move that I new he enjoyed, watched as his gaze locked onto my mouth, felt his grip on my ass tightened. I moved a hand from the wall, caressed his cheek slowly before sliding my fingers into his hair, gave soft tugs to his hair, drawing a low moan from him. “Come for me.”

And he did, pulling me down on him as he sank deeper, the sound of his groan filling the room as he said my name, No matter how many times I heard it, it always sent a thrill coursing through my body, the knowledge that I could bring such a sound from him bringing me a different sense of pleasure. Phi wasn’t vocal in the same was I was, but in the way he thought the sounds I made were beautiful, I thought the sounds he made were beautiful. His groans deep and low, the way he said my name soft, like he cherished it every time he said it.

“Phi did a good job.” I said and laughed when he bit my neck in a light, teasing move. “I thought I was in charge, aren’t I supposed to give you compliments?”

“You can if you want, but are you saying I don’t do a good job other times?” He asked, giving me a small smirk when I pouted. Somehow when I said it, it _did_ sound a little different than when he said it. He gave me a soft kiss that I lent into. “Or did I do a good job at handling the change of pace you threw at me?”

I tipped my head to the side. “Did you not like it?”

“Baby, you do that whenever you feel like it. You’ll hear no complaints from me.” He replied and drew me in for another kiss that I sank into willingly, slipping my fingers into his hair. I wondered if he would say that if my plan worked?

\-----

“So, the two of you know the rules. Look at each other for thirty seconds. The first one to look away loses and receives a punishment of having to kiss the other on the cheek. Are the two of you ready?”

Neither one of us viewed that as a real punishment, not before and most certainly not now. We both nodded at the host of the show and turned to face each other, Phi patting the top of my leg gently as he glanced at the host.

“Gulf isn’t really good at this game. He’s never won it before.” He said. The host made a soft noise of sympathy as he looked at me, but all I did was smile and nod my head in agreement. It was true. I hadn’t won any of the times we’d played yet.

We’d see about that today.

The host counted us down and the game began. Phi lent in close to me as he always did and I couldn’t help but laugh as I always did. It was just an instinctive response when he got close to me when we were on air like that, something I couldn’t control. Just like the flush that came to my face and ears were. I could see the pleasure on his face at the response I gave him, knew well that he was sure he was going to win. He’d never lost so it was a fair thought.

I scooted closer to him, something I’d never done before and angled myself higher than him, making him look up at me. As I gazed down at him, I saw his eyes travel over my face slowly, saw the moment that his mind traveled back to the memory of me moving over him, telling him to make me come for him, of telling him to come for me. The whimpers and whines I gave to him in that position, everything we had done while I had gazed down at him. I saw it as his gaze turned heated before he forced it back, schooled his expression.

When I gave him a small smirk, he turned his head away from me and I lifted my arms above my head as I laughed, giving a soft cry of victory. He laughed and shook his head at me, but I could see the faint color that had touched his cheeks, that he couldn’t quite meet my gaze yet. I grinned in victory and glanced down when I felt his hand on my leg, squeezing by at my knee in a gentle and subtle warning. No… not a warning. In a promise. I was in for it later; he would have his revenge on me for that. I glanced at him and he turned his gaze to me, lifted a brow towards me.

All I did was give him a slow, mischievous smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Try and convince me that something didn't happen to change the fact that Mew went from being the one that always won those staring games to suddenly he was looking away from Gulf too. Fly. Wall. I wanna be one.
> 
> And the AU of MewGulf that I mentioned before, I have done if any of you are curious about it. Not much of it is up yet but it is there. Please stay safe everyone. 2020 is a crazy year. What even is this insanity?


	10. Chapter Ten

** Mew **

Gulf knew he was in trouble.

Not the _I was mad and sulking at him, so he had to make it up to me_ kind of trouble. It was the _you’re going to get it when we’re alone_ kind of trouble. And he was all too aware of it. We were alone and he was making himself very scarce around me, slipping off to different rooms for this reason or that. Never sitting still for too long, always up and wandering around. When he felt my gaze on him, he’d shoot me an innocent smile before darting off.

He wasn’t worried about what was coming his way, he was in full anticipation of it, I could tell by the way his eyes roamed over me with heat dancing in them. It was almost as if he was drawing it out and making it worse. I wouldn’t have put it past him. He could misbehave like that, I had seen him do it often enough. Not quite to this extent or in this particular manner, but I had seen him misbehave and use his cuteness to get himself out of trouble. I knew he could stir up a little bit of mischief if he wanted.

Currently he was in the shower and I was nearly at the end of my rope waiting for him. I sat on the edge of the bed, my gaze flicking up when I heard him join me. He was bundled into my robe, his hair not quite fully dry as he padded across the room to join me as I held a hand out to him. He slid his hand into mine when he reached me, the mischievous glint from earlier still in his eyes.

“Not going to dart out of the room on me this time?” I asked.

“I wanted a shower, Phi.” He said with a small pout that, at other times, would have worked wonders on me. Would have gotten him whatever he wanted. This time, it wasn’t going to work on me. I stood slowly, turning our positions and nudged him down onto the bed. He went down onto it willingly, falling onto his back as he gazed up at me, a soft flush creeping up into his cheeks. “Is Phi upset with me?”

I shook my head slowly at him. Upset? Of course not. A little flustered, perhaps. I hadn’t anticipated him turning my own move against me. I had been fine when he scooted closer, I was sure it was going to backfire on him. However, when he’d shifted so I’d had to look up at him, my mind had betrayed me and pulled the memories of our previous activities forward. Of the way he’d risen above me, his voice filling my head. That smirk hadn’t helped anything at all, either.

It had thrown me off balance for a little while, had given me a little bit of a problem regaining my composure from that stunt of his. I wasn’t upset by any means. I was, however, incredibly aroused. The look in his eye when he had gazed down at me had been intense and heated, gone as fast as I’d seen it and meant only for me. I’d wanted him immediately and had wanted him the rest of the day. The thing was, he’d _known_ it and had done nothing to help the situation. He shot me innocent smiles, let his hand linger on my leg longer than normal, would nuzzle his head on my shoulder closer than normal.

Oh, I had wanted to swear at him on multiple occasions throughout the day.

I eased the robe open, helped him slide it from his shoulders and free his arms. It was obvious to me that he felt the same as he waited for me already hard, ready for any attention that I would give to him. I slid my hand along his inner thigh slowly and he eased his legs open for me, a willing and trusting action that I would never fail to appreciate.

“I’m not upset, baby. No.” I replied and moved him, rolling him onto his stomach, drawing a surprised sound from him. He went willingly, though, adjusting himself to a comfortable position on his stomach, looking over his shoulder towards me. “You did that on purpose earlier, didn’t you?”

Gulf looked at me with wide eyes that I knew weren’t as innocent as they appeared to be. Not when I had seen the heat burning in them as he gazed at me with desire and need, heard my name leave his name in soft whines while that heat burned there. He shook his head as I slid a hand over one of his ass cheeks, his hips squirming about in need. I knew what he wanted, and I would give it to him, in time. I gave him a look and he shook his head again. “I didn’t. I just wanted to win the game for once. You always win, Phi.”

While I did believe that part of that statement was true, I also believe that there was more behind it as well. He had been bolder earlier, it had been a pleasant surprise, something that I would never complain about even now. It would explain a great deal, if he were trying to find something to gain the upper hand on me with though. It also pleased me that he was comfortable enough to grow bolder, that his shyness was slowly easing back. Though I hoped that a small part of it would stay in some form.

I enjoyed watching his cheeks grow red, enjoyed watching his gaze slide away from mine from time to time. It was a charming thing.

“Are you lying, Gulf?” I asked, moving my fingers slowly to tease at his hole. I looked at him in surprise when they sank into him with ease, his soft inhale of breath bringing my gaze fully up to him. His fingers had curled into the sheets and his lower lip, the one I was so very fond of, had been drawn between his teeth as pleasure settled over his features, his gaze growing heated as he looked over his shoulder towards me. “Gulf…”

The slow smile he shot me sent a thrill racing down my spine, the soft whine that came from him as he rocked back onto my fingers only driving the desire I had for him higher. Never in the entire time I had known him had I ever wanted to swear at him more than I did in that one singular moment, even compared to earlier in the day when the urges had been strong, watching his body rock forward only to rock back in a slow, smooth motion that he made look artful and sinful all at the same time.

“I prepared myself for you in the shower. I didn’t touch myself though.” He shook his head, a soft whimper escaping him as I found the bundle of nerves, struck them lightly. “That’s Phi’s job to do, unless he wants to see me do it. I knew you wanted me, I wanted to surprise you. Did I do a good job, Phi?”

He was doing a good job at throwing me off balance at every turn of the corner, that was for sure.

“You did do a good job at surprising me, baby.” I lent over, kissing the back of his shoulder gently. I found that sweet spot of his, played my fingers over it slowly, drawing out soft moans from him. His fingers twisted into the sheets, a tremble overtaking his body as I watched him. “But while I’m not upset, you’re still in trouble, baby. I’m not going to let you get off free on that. You know that, right?” I slid my fingers slowly from him, gave him an affection pat on the ass

A slow nod as he bit his lip, his gaze heated as he gazed at me. I saw no indication that he wasn’t interested in what I was doing, saw no indication that he wanted me to stop, or ease back. The look in his eyes, the desire he aimed at me urged me on, drew me in closer to him, told me to keep going. He was excited, wanted to see what I would do, what I would give to him. There were many things that were left for us to try, to experiment with and the trust between us left many things open for us to dip into.

“I know.” His hips lifted slightly, pressed back against me where I strained against the confines of my boxers, drawing a soft groan from me. He knew what he was doing, knew that he was shoving my desire for him higher and higher, was enjoying every second of it. “I’ll take whatever Phi decides to give to me. I didn’t behave myself today when we were filming.”

Which one of us was going to struggle here more? Me or him? Because he was making it _very_ hard not to just give in to my urge to be inside of him right then and there.

Slowly, I tipped my head to the side as I gazed at him. There was no reason I couldn’t be. I could draw it out, make him say what I wanted to hear him say before giving him what he wanted while being exactly where I wanted to be. More than anything, he likely expected me to make him wait. It’s what I had planned to do, after all. Why not throw the unexpected at him, like he had done to me?

I left him long enough to retrieve a condom and the bottle of lubricant, his gaze following me as I moved. As my boxers slid off, his breath hitched, quickened as the condom was rolled down over my cock, a soft whine coming from him as I made sure he would be able to take me easily with a little more lube. As I lined myself up with him, I smoothed a hand over his skin in a slow glide.

“Did you do it on purpose, Gulf?” I asked, drawing him to his hands and knees slowly.

He shook his head and I chuckled, easing into him slowly, his whine filling the room. I knew what his answer would be, he knew what his answer would be. It would be interesting to see how long it would take for him to cave, to answer me truthfully. I would be able to see how long he would be able to hold out against me, how strong his resolve, at least for tonight, was.

The pace I set against him was a slow one, drawing soft moans from him as he rocked his hips back against me. The deeper I sank into him, the tighter he gripped the sheets, the more his body began to tremble as his pleasure climbed. I watched his reactions, took note of his flushing skin, the way his fingers flexed and tightened in the sheets, the hitching in his breath, and the way his body began to tense.

I knew when he was close and I halted my motions, easing myself deep inside of him, gripping his hips as he began to squirm back against me in protest, soft whines escaping his parted lips. He looked over his shoulder towards me, his gaze just as heated as it had been when I had started, frustration playing across his features as I gave him a slow smile.

“Did you do it on purpose?”

Another shake of his head. I dropped a soft kiss against the back of his shoulder, drew him into a kneeling position, his back against my chest as I struck deep inside of him. A soft cry came from him, his head falling back against my shoulder. I was driving him close, so close to where he wanted to go but keeping him just short of reaching what he wanted. I dangled it just out of his reach. A frustrating experience for him.

I rook ahold of his wrists, pinning them against his stomach as he reached down to take hold of himself, kissing his neck softly when he whined in frustration at me. “I know, it isn’t nice, baby. Just tell Phi the truth. He isn’t mad, he just wants the truth from you. Will you tell him the truth?”

A slow rock of my hips into him, a gentle hit of his nerves had him bobbing his head quickly, a whine coming from him. I dropped a soft kiss to his shoulder as he gasped, holding him back against me.

“I d-did it on purpose. I did, Phi.” He nodded as he spoke. “I wanted you to remember when you had been inside me like that. So I did it on purpose. I’m sorry.”

“What do you need to promise to Phi so he can give you what you want, Gulf?” I whispered into his ear softly. With the way his body tensed and the trembled that overtook him, the way his back arched, the way he moaned my name I thought the words alone had sent him tipping over that edge, but they had edged him closer, dangling him over that edge he was desperately trying to reach.

“I promise to be a good boy. I’ll behave myself for Phi. I won’t misbehave anymore.” His breath hitched as I released his hands, easing him to brace his hands against the bed. “Please, Phi. I want it. _Tua-eng_ will be a good boy. He will.”

When I told him to brace, he did, planting his hands firmly against the bed, listening to me without hesitation. I gave us both what we desired, driving into him hard and fast, bring a cry out of him that filled the room. His whines mixed with the sound of skin against skin, of heavy breathing. He whined my name and I took him into my grasp, stroking him quickly, giving him the final shove over the edge into bliss that he needed.

Even as he came into my hand, he rocked himself into my grasp, the bedsheets balling beneath his hands. His body trembled as pleasure rushed over him, taking what more I gave to him as my hips met his. Never any sounds of displeasure or annoyance, only soft sounds of pleasure and gazes of love as he moved his gaze to me. My hips rocked into his as I sank deeper into him, his lips parting on a soft inhale, his arms trembling to support his weight.

Through it all, he didn’t complain, only moved his body with mine, giving me encouraging sounds of pleasure, soft whines of my name that pulled me closer to my own edge. So easily could he have told me to stop, to go slower, but he didn’t. The only word to leave his lips other than my name were soft, moaned yeses. Even as I pressed my forehead against the back of his shoulder as my own orgasm rushed over me, my breath coming in pants against his skin, he didn’t complain. He supported my weight on shaky arms until I eased back, eased from him gently and helped him slide onto his back slowly.

It wasn’t a graceful or smooth movement by any means, more of a slide forward and roll to the side if anything as his strength seemed to leave him. In my concern, I picked up the robe he’d worn into the room, tugged it the rest of the way out from beneath him and cleaned my hand off. It could be washed later, replaced if ruined. I scooted closer to him, rubbing the top of his leg gently, relieved when he looked at me, a goofy smile on his face.

“Don’t look so worried. My limbs just feel all loose now.” He said. “If there’s an emergency, you’re going to have carry me to safety or let me crawl there. Maybe roll. Rolling might be faster.”

I chuckled and dropped a kiss to his forehead softly. “I’d carry you. Least I don’t have to tell you to stay put. I know you won’t be going anywhere.” I left long enough to clean myself up and dispose of the condom, returning to clean him up as well. When I sat next to him on the bed to clean him up, he watched me as he normally did, his gaze roaming over me slowly.

“I told you a lie, Phi.” I looked up towards him and he shot me a small, playful grin. “I’m not going to behave myself.”

I tipped my head back and laughed.

\-----

It was a few days later when I knew that his words had been true. While he had told me that he’d told me a lie then, he’d been truthful in that statement. He wasn’t going to behave himself. He’d joined my Instagram live, much to my pleasure. We had been talking back and forth when he had read a comment from a fan saying that they had seen me when they were out and about somewhere.

“Come and say hi to me next time.” I glanced away from the screen as I spoke. “I’m not a hard or rough person. Right, Gulf?” It was the delayed response that told me all I needed to know. It wasn’t a poor connection. Despite the two of us being in different locations, I could _sense_ something from him.

“You are.”

I glanced up towards my phone, saw the look that he shot me as I lifted a brow at him. This little… I gave him a look in return and lent towards the phone, speaking directly to him, the thought of fans watching momentarily gone. “When did I go too hard?”

Gulf lifted his brows and just shot me a playful smile that I couldn’t help but shake my head and give a small laugh at. One thing was for certain. He would forever be keeping me on my toes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just gonna say, the next chapter is probably one of my favorites that I've written. I just adore it.
> 
> You guys can come talk to me on Twitter if you'd like to, as well <3 filltheblankpg is my username.


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You might need a pillow while reading this one?

** Gulf **

“Gulf, come here…”

Desire was written over his face as he gazed at me, which I understood. I stood in the kitchen in just my boxers, having left a trail of clothes for him to follow down the stairs from his bedroom to where I stood now. It had been an intentional move on my part. I had stripped singular articles of clothes starting outside of the bedroom door when he had been in there changing and progressed downwards through the house until I had gotten to where I currently good. Not many articles of clothing but they had been scattered well enough to lead him to me. The island stood between us, my hands resting flat against it as he moved closer to me and I shook my head, watching him as he walked closer to me.

“Why not, _tua-eng_?”

“You come here.” I replied, tapping the top of the counter.

He came closer, placing his hands on the counter opposite me, moving to the side. I moved in the opposite direction as him and he lifted a brow at me. I grinned at him, scanned his face slowly before I darted out from behind the counter, dodging him as he reached for me, a soft giggle escaping me, dashing out of the kitchen as fast as I could, heading for the living room as I laughed. I heard him give a soft chuckle before he followed.

I stopped in the living room, looking over my shoulder long enough to see if he was truly following me before I dashed off again. The sound of his laughter followed me as I ran down the hallway, another soft giggle escaping me. Oh, how I loved the sound of his laugh, it was a beautiful, infectious sound. One that so easily made me smile when I heard it, that made me laugh even if I didn’t know what I was laughing at. I skidded around the corner, bumping into the wall by the staircase before I scrambled up it as fast as I could, pausing at the top of it to gaze down it at him as he looked up at me.

“You don’t think I’ll be able to catch you, do you?” He asked and I gave him a challenging look as I panted. I knew he would be able to catch me, it was a matter of how fast he would be able to catch me and what he would do with me after he caught me. I tipped my head to the side and shrugged a little.

“I don’t know. Can you keep up with me? Can you catch me?” I countered with a grin and turned, running off quickly when he started up the staircase, heading for the bedroom. I left the door open behind me when I darted inside, scrambling to the other side of the bed, putting it between us. When he joined me, he shut the door, locking it behind him after he shut it.

That was fine with me. I didn’t exactly want to leave after I got in here.

“Now what do you intend to do?” He asked and started towards me slowly. I kept my gaze on him as he approached me and scrambled onto the bed when he got close, making him laugh. “Fair enough. Retreating to the bed is a fair move, just be careful up there. Don’t fall.”

Always worried, always concerned about my safety. My heart fluttered a little as he gazed at me. This was the man that I loved and adored with my entire heart. The one that always thought about me before himself, the one that always worried about me and cared about me. The one that always protected me from anything and everything, the one that I knew wouldn’t let anything happen to me.

I knew all of that, but I didn’t go out of my way to do stupid things to test and see if he really would. I had seen other people do it and I never understood why. Why put someone’s loyalty, their love to the test? Sure, I did small silly things like pretend I couldn’t fix my own hair when I could or turn to him when I got a papercut instead of turning to a staff member, but that was all because I adored the way his eyes softened when he gazed at me. It wasn’t a test of his love, it was because I wanted his attention, wanted the soft smile he gave me when he looked at me.

I had been asked to gossip about him when he wasn’t around and I had said nothing, refused to do so. I wouldn’t betray his trust in me like that. I put my love and trust in him, trusted him with my heart and he trusted me with his. I was aware of what he had been through before in the past, could only imagine how hard it had been for him to open back up to someone. I wouldn’t rip to shreds something that was fragile enough in a person that hadn’t been hurt before. I would cherish it, hold it close and shield it from those would who want to hurt him, from those who would try to find a weak point to poke at. Would shield it from those who didn’t have ill intents but didn’t know the damage they could do regardless.

He had lowered his guard for me, had let me in and I wouldn’t hurt him.

I picked up a pillow and threw it at him, snatching up another one as he caught the one I’d thrown at him, flashing a playful grin at him when he looked at me. I backed away from him slowly and stepped down off the bed on the opposite side of him, holding the pillow out in front of myself, a mixture of a shield and a weapon. I jerked my head back faintly, gesturing for him to join me.

There was an age gap between the two of us, both of us were well aware of that. Sometimes it presented itself, made us both aware of it in clear ways, in a negative way, nothing that we couldn’t manage. But there were times that it presented itself in a positive light. Since meeting Phi, I had become more mature, had learned many things from him, had grown up in ways that were good for me. I hadn’t necessarily been _forced_ to grow up, though being in the spotlight had forced me to grow up in some ways. I had been forced to figure things out faster. He had helped me, guided me in how to do it without being overwhelmed, without coming to resent it.

There were times where Phi got stressed out with everything that he was faced with. There was so much in front of him that it all seemed to pile up in front of him sometimes, giving him little time to do anything else. That’s where I came in, something that he had told me many times when I was curled up with him at night. I kept him feeling young, kept him on his toes in ways he hadn’t expected. Made sure that he took the time to have fun, that he didn’t get overwhelmed with things.

We took care of each other in our own, unique ways. It wasn’t always shown on camera, it wasn’t always shown for everyone to see because some things were just meant to be private, more so when I tended to be a shyer person when I wasn’t familiar with someone, more introverted. But I showed him I cared in my own ways. I took care of him in my ways, didn’t leave him questioning if my love for him was there.

He approached me slowly, holding the pillow as I remained in my spot, my gaze focused on him. When he was within reach, I ducked down and smacked him in the stomach with the pillow before scooting back out of his reach, giggling as I went. He pressed a hand to his stomach, pretending as if it hurt for a second before stepping towards me, smacking at me with his own pillow.

We continued like that for a while. Dodging each other as we swung pillows, sometimes successful in our dodges, sometimes hitting each other with them. Laughter filled the room as we darted around the room, ducking and smacking playfully at each other. I hadn’t realized that he’d drawn close enough to me to grab me until his arms were coming around my waist, pulling me in against his body, his pillow forgotten on the floor.

My heartbeat wildly in my chest, a mixture of energy spent from playing with him and the building excitement of being so close to him. I went with him as he backed me into the wall, shivered as the coolness of it pressed against my skin as he caged me there between his body and it, my own pillow joining his on the floor. His fingers slid along my arms to my wrist, circled them and lifted them to pin them next to my head, his gaze scanning slowly over my face.

“Going to run away from me again?” His lips brushed over mine once, twice before dropping to my neck, kissing my skin gently. I shook my head, gave a small sound to tell him that my running was over, that there would be no reason to give chase to me again. “This is my favorite spot. This spot here on your neck.”

“Why?” I asked. In response he nuzzled the spot he’d kissed slowly. A soft whimper came from me involuntarily, a shiver rocking my body when he dropped a kiss to my skin. I knew instinctively, without a shadow of a doubt, if he were to leave any sort of mark there, to do any sort of sucking motion against my skin there, I’d be a trembling mess against him.

“You’re so sensitive here for some reason.” He said softly, returning it my lips. I sank into the kiss he gave to me like there was nothing more in the world that I wanted. If I got to do nothing more than kiss him ever again, I would be happy with just that. I didn’t need to have sex with him. Did I enjoy it? Of course I did. He was _very_ talented in that department, like he was other things. He took me to highs that I wasn’t aware that I could reach, made sure that I reached them every time. He was an unselfish lover, kind and caring.

But my love for him wasn’t based in sex. It made me feel close to him on another level, in another sense but I didn’t need it to be with him. Simply being with him was enough for me. The stolen kisses, the gentle touches, sweet smiles, loving glances. All of that was enough to make my heart flutter, to make me want to hug a pillow and roll around in joy. He was enough. I needed nothing more.

When he released my wrists to slip his arms around my waist, my hands went to his hair, my fingers tangling there as I kissed him. A kiss full of the adoration and love I felt for him my emotions sweeping around me as I felt his arms tighten around me, a soft tremble overtaking my body as he held me. He ran his palm soothingly over my back as our foreheads touched together, heat creeping into my cheeks.

“You’re mine.” I whispered softly. I don’t know why I said it, why the urge to say it came over me, but it had, to speak it into existence, even if only between us. I captured his lips with mine again, wrapped my legs around his waist when his hands slid down to grip my ass in a silent gesture to bring me closer. Words weren’t needed here in this moment to know that we both wanted closer, that we wanted to be skin to skin.

I was carried over to the bed, set down upon it in a gentle motion. I parted with him long enough to scoot myself back, let him remove my boxers, watch him shed his shirt and boxers. I held my arms open to him and he came to me, sinking down on top of me and I bore his weight on top of me gladly, our lips meeting once again.

The mood shifted easily from lighthearted and playful to sweet and tender without either one of us thinking about it. We went from chasing each other around the house and having a pillow fight to trailing light touches over bare skin, bringing soft sighs of pleasure out of each other. Even as he prepared me for him, his touches stayed light, my moans soft and breathy as he drew them out of me. His gaze was soft and full of love that I felt in every touch of his hands, every touch of his lips against my skin. He gave me soft words that made my skin turn warm, my heart trip in my chest.

When he took me, there were no hard or fast meeting of the hips. Just a slow and gentle movement of one body against another, his touches never anything but tender as he trailed his hands over my skin. My fingers slid over his skin, into his hair in gentle caresses, unrushed and slow. He made me tremble as he took me up, took me higher, brought me gently over that edge that he never failed to bring me to. His name left me on a soft, soft moan, my name a soft groan from his lips, close to my ear.

A tender moment only meant for the two of us to hear, a moment of love meant for just the two of us.

“I’m yours and you are mine.” He said softly after pressing a soft kiss to my forehead. “Since I caught you, what’s my prize?”

My lips twitched into a small smile as I traced my fingers over his cheek slowly as I gazed up at him. I hadn’t thought about what would happen after he got his hands on me. Hadn’t been sure if things would turn sexual like they had or if they wouldn’t. Hadn’t really cared if they would or not. It wasn’t ever something that I really worried about, though sometimes did hope for. “You’re the winner. You get to pick. Whatever you want.”

Phi took my hand in his gently, lifting it to his lips and kiss the back of it, pressed soft kisses to the back of my knuckles, slid his thumb slowly over my ring finger. The one where a wedding band would go. I glanced at him as he kissed it softly, heat creeping up the back of my neck, spreading to my cheeks, the tips of my ears going red. The gesture was simple, nothing intense or sexual like he had expressed in the past, but it made me shy.

So, so shy.

“You have to save this for me in the future.” He coaxed me to open my hand, to spread my fingers, which I did willingly for him, and he slid his thumb along the inside of my ring finger, along where the band of a ring would sit at. I watched his movements, glancing between his face and his touch. “Will you do that for me, Gulf?”

A soft ache spread over my chest, not one of sadness or pain, but one that was such a sweet, overwhelming feeling I couldn’t explain it if someone had asked me to. I felt foolish when my breath hitched, felt silly when I sought out the curve of his neck to hide my face in when my vision blurred. It hadn’t been an outright question, but a request for the future which was somehow more touching to me given our situation.

Neither one of us were in a position where we could be open about our relationship. There would be supporters, but there would be those who would be against it, those who would question the truth or validity of our feelings. There would likely be those who would try to use it against our careers, which we were both truly at the beginning of. We had so many chances, so many opportunities laid out before us. And it was something that was new enough to the both of us, we wanted to keep it tucked in close to us, a private matter for us to explore and cherish together.

When the time was right, we would say something.

It was the request for the future, that there was no doubt in his mind or his heart that I would still be by his side further down the road that melted my heart. I wouldn’t go anywhere, it didn’t matter where our careers took us, what projects we worked on, my heart would remain here with him, and I would continue to return home to him. To arms that waited to embrace me with love and tenderness.

“It’ll never belong to anyone but you.” I said as he stroked the back of my neck gently. He spoke soft words to me, each one I cherished and tucked away in my heart where I kept all of the words he gave to me, each one of them important keepsakes for me. In a gentle movement, he sat on the bed and pulled me into his lap where I wrapped my legs around his waist, slid myself closer. We could worry about cleaning up later. His arms went around my waist as I snuggled in as close as I could get to him.

I stayed there in his embrace, feeling warm and safe as he stroked my back. As I thought of his request, I slid my thumb over my finger where a ring would sit at, the same path his thumb had taken moments before, and couldn’t help but smile. It felt strangely empty now, despite the fact that I rarely ever wore rings unless it was for filming something or a photoshoot. Yet, as I sat there with him with his words lingering in my mind, it felt like something was missing already.


	12. Chapter Twelve

** Mew **

It was funny, how easily I could sense when Gulf’s eyes were on me now. It didn’t matter that I was standing in a room full of people, almost all of their eyes turned towards me as pictures were snapped, makeup and hair adjusted quickly between photos. I knew their eyes were on me, could clearly see it, but I could _feel_ Gulf’s gaze on me, even if I couldn’t see him. I couldn’t place exactly when that had started, when I had started to be able to feel his gaze specifically, but it had been for a while.

I would feel his gaze on me and look over to him, see him gazing at me and smile at him. Before his gaze would dart away, unable to hold my own, but now be shared a knowing smile with me when I caught him looking at me. Sometimes he still got shy, but his gaze didn’t dart away from mine. I found comfort in his gaze, found comfort in his eyes. When I looked at him, it felt like I was at home, even if we were in public.

When the flash of the camera stopped, when the clicking of it fell silent, I glanced towards the photographer who gave me the all clear. I was done for the day. I gazed around the room slowly, found who I was looking for and tipped my head to the side faintly, amusement creeping up inside of me. He was standing off to the side of the room, watching me with his arms folded over his chest, a slightly grumpy look on his face as he watched me. I wondered if he even realized he had that look on his face.

As I watched him, I closed my shirt that had been hanging open for the photos that were being taken, saw the grumpy look on his face ease a little. Just a little, though. I couldn’t help but grin as I crossed over to him, moved through to the changing room so I could dress properly. I felt his gaze follow me as I walked, felt it stay on me for a few moments before darting away as I changed.

He wasn’t too happy that I had taken photos like that. Interesting.

We left the set after bidding everyone farewell, climbed into my car where I looked towards him briefly before starting it and headed home. As I drove in silence, I slid my hand over and took ahold of his, lacing my fingers with his gently, rubbing my thumb over the back of his knuckles slowly. While he didn’t pull his hand away, when I glanced over to him, he was looking out of the window, his lower lip sticking out just a little in a pout that I was sure he wasn’t even aware of.

“Are you upset with me, _tua-eng_?” I asked. I saw him shake his head out of the corner of my eye and I chuckled softly. “Then why are you pouting? You looked a little upset when we were still at work back there. You know, you can tell me. I’ll listen.” I squeezed his hand gently as I drove carefully with one hand on the wheel.

Silence lingered in the car for a while. We were nearly home before Gulf spoke again, his voice soft as he did. “I got jealous watching everyone else have their eyes on you like that. I didn’t like it. Why do you need to show yourself off like that? You don’t need to. I should be the only one seeing you like that.”

I couldn’t help but smile, not because I found it amusing, but because I understood how he felt.

Other than to squeeze his hand gently, I gave him no response until we had arrived home. I exited the car and led him inside, guiding him to the couch where I set and pulled him into my lap. He straddled me, his gaze darting away from me as I cupped his face gently, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. I had come to know him well enough to know that he very likely felt silly for feeling like he did, but I didn’t fault him for it at all. I understood it, felt it just as much as he did sometimes.

When female interviewers turned their attention to him, that jealousy rose up inside of me. That urge to protect him and keep him tucked in close to me. He couldn’t just ignore them, it was part of our jobs to interact with them, answer their questions with smiles and laughs, but there were ones that got too flirty for my liking, ones that tried to get too close. I felt the urge to put myself between them in those instances. It wasn’t that I was possessive, that seemed like a negative way to word it. I wanted to keep him safe, wanted to take care of him as much as I could.

“It’s just part of my job, Gulf. There will be other things like that that I have to do, because it’s part of my job. You don’t need to be jealous of them looking at me or the makeup artists that come to do my makeup. Those people might get to look at me, the makeup artists might get to touch in their own ways, but they don’t get to do the things that you do. They don’t get to see the things that you do. You get things that they don’t.” I pressed my forehead against his gently, watched as his gaze traveled over my face slowly.

“What do I get to do that they don’t?” He asked, a small smile curving his lips. I smiled before drawing him into a soft kiss that he lent into, his fingers sliding into their favored place in my hair. He knew the answer to that question, but I would answer it, show him the answer as many times as he wanted, remind him as often as he wanted. He asked not because he doubted my answer but simply because sometimes one needed reassurance of things, needed to have their worries soothed. He may have often said that he was one that didn’t think about things too much, but he thought about them more than he gave himself credit for, was more insightful than he realized.

He parted his lips when I sought entrance, his grip on my hair tightening in a signal that his desire was creeping higher. When I drew his hips closer to mine and let him feel my own desire for him, a soft whine came from him. The kiss became heated, demanding more from me, which I was happy to give to him. I trailed my lips to his ear, pressing a soft kiss to the sensitive skin beneath it, making him whine once more.

“They don’t get my lips against theirs like that. Only you do.” I said softly. I drew his shirt off, tossing it aside, dropping soft kisses along his neck to his shoulder. When he drew me back to his neck, I couldn’t help but chuckle, turning my attention to the sensitive spot that was there, that happened to be a favored location of mine. Soft kisses, gentle nuzzles, and soft strokes of my thumb were given to it, making him tremble against me as I pressed himself in closer against me.

“W-What else?” His voice was shaky when he spoke, his gaze heated when I looked at him. I kept my gaze on him as I took my time unbuttoning my shirt, his eyes following the path my fingers took. The lower my fingers went, the more skin that was exposed to him, the more his cheeks flushed, and he drew his lower lip between his teeth. When I took his hand and pressed it to my chest, his breath hitched softly.

“You’re the only one that gets to touch me like this, _tua-eng_.” I slid his hand down along my skin, letting his fingers trace a slow path that sent a shiver racing down my spine. I slid his hand down over the band of my pants, pressed his palm against my cock that was straining against the confines of my pants, letting him feel the desire he had stirred inside of me. I could see the desire for control creep into his eyes, something I would always willingly give to him whenever he desired it. I may have been the more dominant of the two of us, but we would always be equal. I kissed him softly and quickly before leaning back. “Show me what else only you can do, Gulf.”

In a slow movement, he moved from my lap and tugged my pants from me, my boxers going with them to be cast to the side. He slid to his knees in front of me, my legs parting to accommodate him between them. When he lent into me, I went to him, meeting him for a slow kiss that made him moan and made me shiver, his fingertips trailing a slow path along my inner thighs.

The path he took down was slow, trailing kisses along my skin as he went. From my neck to my chest, from my chest to my stomach where my muscles jumped beneath his lips. The fingers of one hand tangled into his hair when he took me into the warmth of his mouth, a soft groan being drawn from me. He had taken to doing this more often since the first time he had, so his skills had improved. Sometimes he still needed guidance, in those moments I gave it to him gently and slowly until he found his rhythm then let him take control once again.

Now his movements were sure as he drew me further into his mouth, eased back, and drew me in once more. I watched him as he moved, enjoyed the flush that came to his cheeks, severely enjoyed the way his gaze would lift to mine every now and then, making me shudder at the heat burning there. I enjoyed watching him, not because of the sexual picture but because of the way he moved confidently, how he moved without doubts about what he was doing. Even when he needed guidance, there was still confidence as I guided him. Confidence that he brought me pleasure, that he was the cause of it.

When he eased down to draw more of me into his mouth, I groan his name softly, letting my head drop back against the couch, my fingers tightening in his hair. It was something that he had been trying to do over the past few times, draw more of me inside even though I told him that he didn’t need to force himself. He was stubborn, as always. In a gentle motion, I gave his hair a soft tug, a signal for him to ease back.

“Come here, Gulf. Let me take care of you.” I said, the urge to swear at him rising as he nursed the vein in my cock slowly before releasing me to stand. He removed the remainder of his clothes and fetched what we needed from drawer in the table next to the couch before returning to my lap once again, pressing the bottle of lubricant into my hand. His lips went to my neck as I opened the bottle and started the motions of preparing him for me.

It was a short time before his breath was coming in soft pants against my skin, his hips rocking back onto my fingers as he sought the rush of pleasure hitting that spot would bring him. He rocked forward, then back in slow motions, his hands flat against my chest as he whined out softly in frustration at his failed attempts to find what he wanted.

“Can’t find what you want, baby?” He shook his head, rocking back against only to whine once again in frustration. The thing was, since I knew where it was that he needed to hit, he was close to what he wanted. Just angled wrong. He slid his hips closer to me and I chuckled softly, shaking my head lightly at him. “Wrong way. Angle them back a little. There you go. Now try it.”

This time the whine that came from him wasn’t one of frustration, but one of pleasure as I watched that pleasure rush over his features, his breath hitching as he rocked his hips down against my fingers, the light stroking motions I played over the spot sending his body trembling. There were many things that I enjoyed, but I couldn’t think of anything that I enjoyed more than watching pleasure dance over his face, to feel his body respond to me as I did the things that I knew he enjoyed, or found something new that he did. By no means was I the perfect lover or the best at sex, but I paid attention to him, to what he enjoyed, didn’t get wrapped up in my own pleasure or desires.

“I want Phi… Please…” He moaned, pressing his lips to my shoulder gently as he fumbled with the condom, tearing the wrapper open to offer it to me. I took it from him after easing my fingers from him and moves him back far enough to roll the condom down over myself before drawing him back against me, guided his hips down as I eased into him slowly, his soft whine filling the room as he took me inside of himself.

Control was passed back to me in a silent gesture, an easy give and take as his hips moved down against mine, matching the pace that I set against him. My hands slid to grip his waist, ever fond of the way it just seemed to fit perfectly into my hands as I helped him balance himself. No matter where we were, I always found myself sliding my hand to his waist, drawing him against me. I liked the way my hand just fit there, how it felt like it was made to be there.

So many parts of him felt as though they were meant for me.

His hands slid to the back of my neck and he lent into me, bringing our lips together in a kiss that told me of the desire he felt, of the need that burned inside of him. It was heated and demanding but I felt the love layered behind it, felt it in the gentle caresses that he gave to the back of my neck. Even as my hips moved faster and deeper against him, I dropped soft kisses along his neck, along his shoulder. No matter how intense things got, there were always gentle touches exchanged between us.

“I’m the only one that gets to see you like this.” He said, sliding his fingers slowly into my hair, a soft moan coming from him as I struck deep. I slid my hands slowly up along his back, watched as he arched into me and trailed my fingers along the lovely arch of his spine, making his breath hitch as I touched him. “Only _tua-eng_ can have you like this.”

Not words said in search of assurance, but words said in confidence and certainty.

“No one but you, _tua-eng_.” I murmured softly, slipping an arm around his waist to pull him against me before I moved us, easing him onto his back beneath me. His legs hooked over my hips instinctively, drawing me deeper into him as I braced my hands against the arm of the couch, a low groan escaping me as he drew me deeper, the heat in his gaze a sight that I enjoyed seeing. I savored the knowledge that I could stir his desire like I did. That I could turn the shy man into a moaning, trembling mess as I took him higher. That I brought him confidence through the things we did.

The pace that I built was harder than before, faster but I knew he didn’t mind by the way his nails dug into my skin and the moans of pleasure that came from him, the soft whimpered yeses that I drew from him as I moved inside of him. He gazed up at me with flushed cheeks, his lips parted as he panted, a sight that was a piece of art that I was the only one that was allowed to see. While I pitied that no one else would see the beauty that I did, it was my view to keep, not something meant to be shared with others.

The sight only became that much more splendid when a cry came from him as I struck the bundle of nerves inside of him, his head tipping to the side as his nails dug into my sides, a tremble taking over his body.

“Again…” He whined and I did as he desired, brought my hips forward into him in a quick, firm motion. His legs began to tremble as they were pressed against my hips and I slid a hand back to stroke the top of one soothingly, though I didn’t let up on my pace. I knew I wasn’t hurting him, wasn’t giving him any discomfort as I drove him higher, drew whimpers out of him. He would have told me to ease up, slow down if he needed to. I could tell by the way he bit onto his lip and the way he was starting to squirm beneath me that he was racing closer to that edge.

In a slow move, I slid my hand from the top of his leg to grip his cock, stroking him in slow, steady motions, making his breath hitch as his eyes fluttered shut. His hips rocked between my hand around him and my hips that met him steadily, soft whimpers coming from him as I coaxed the pleasure coursing through him higher. When I slid my thumb over the head of his cock in a slow motion, my name left him on a soft whine that told me just how close he was.

“You don’t need to hold back, baby. Go ahead and let go.” I said, my hips meeting him faster, driving him higher as I stroked him faster. His hands braced against the arm of the couch above him as he arched, his body trembling before he tensed, a soft cry leaving his lips as he tipped over that crest, pleasure crashing into him. He came over my hand, something I never minded, his stomach being hit as well as I gave him soft strokes.

I didn’t need to ask him if I could continue as he wiggled his way down, bringing his hips closer to me in a silent gesture of permission. I moved my hands to his hips, unconcerned about dirtying him by taking hold of his hip since I would draw him into the shower with me later, and moved against him in search of my own release. His soft moans and whimpers of my name drove me on, encouraging me to continue my search as his hands slid down to grip my wrists.

“Let me see what only I get to see, Phi.” He whined as he gazed up at me, his eyes traveling slowly over my face. “How amazing you look when you come just for me. _Tua-eng_ wants to see it.”

As I braced a hand against the arm of the couch, I left a hand against his hip as I lent over him, my gaze fixed on him as my hips met his in quick motions. I had no idea what he saw when he gazed up at me, only saw the flush rush into his cheeks and watched him draw his lower lip between his teeth, a soft moan coming from him as he watched me. It was the way his body tensed around me that drug me over the edge, pleasure crashing into me as a shudder raced down my spine. I groaned his name as his fingers ran through my hair in slow, gentle motions.

"So, what did we learn today, Gulf?" I asked him as I lent over him once I had caught my breath, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. He glanced up at me and gave a small smile, his head tipped to the side as he gazed at me, a small playful look creeping into his eyes.

"Hopefully how to find that magic spot you always know how to hit. I can't ever f-" He broke off into laughter when I bit his neck playfully, his giggles filling the room as he squirmed about beneath me, a sound that was beautiful to me. It never failed to make me smile, never failed to make me feel happier whenever I heard it. I could be sad, mad, sick, it didn't matter. Hearing that sound always made my mood better somehow. "Okay, okay! They can look, but they can't have what I can! They can't have P'Mew like I can! See! I learned! P’Mew!"

I gave his neck an affectionate nuzzle when I released him and looked down at him, enjoyed the flush on his cheeks, the way his lips curved in a smile that reached his eyes. Gently, I kissed his forehead again, letting my lips rest there for a few seconds before easing back.

"That's right. They don't get to have me. I love you, Gulf." I didn't need to hear the words back from him, not when I could see the love in his eyes when he gazed up at me, feel it from him in the kiss that he drew me down into. We didn't exchange the words often, but we were always aware of the feelings in the way we gazed at each other, the way we touched each other. So often, actions spoke louder than words.

“I love you too, Phi. I can always feel it from you in the way you look at me or the way you touch me.” He said, making me chuckle. “What? Does it sound silly?”

I shook my head, bumped my forehead against his in a gentle movement. “I was thinking the same thing. Your eyes say it. Hearing it is nice from time to time, but I just need to look at you, to look at your eyes to see it. I find all the warmth and love I need there.”

When he drew me down to him, I went, sinking down slowly to cover his body with mine in a gentle motion. The kiss we shared was full of the emotions that I had spoken of. The warmth and love I found in him, a gentleness that warmed my heart as his fingers found their familiar place in my hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Allow me to be sad about the ending of the filming of Tharntype, but let us hope for a future series with Mewgulf in it. As a side question, you guys cool with a future chapter incorporating the use of a blindfold? Some view them as kinky, some view them as tame. I'm on the tame opinion. Do what you want as long as you're consenting adults, yanno? Anyway.
> 
> You can come follow me on Twitter, if you'd like. I'm a fan of other BL series as well, so you're welcome to talk to me about others or writing! I don't bite, I promise. I'm far too shy for that. I promise. Pinkie promise.
> 
> @filltheblankpg


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little angsty, but for a reason.

** Gulf **

"Where's P'Mew?" I asked as stepped out of a room. I couldn't remember what I had been in there for, why I had been in there, but it didn't matter. It must not have been particularly important if I couldn't remember. Now all I wanted to know was where Phi was. He had been with me when I had laid down to sleep, but he hadn't been there when I got up.

That's right. I had been laying down for a nap in there. I had been tired, gone for a short nap.

Heads turned towards me; glances were exchanged between people that I didn't recognize as they looked at each other. No one seemed sure of how to answer me, no one seemed sure of what to say. I looked between them all, tipped my head to the side a little. Did no one know where Phi had gone off to? That wasn't normal, he typically let people know where he was going before he left.

"Gulf, you don't work with P'Mew anymore. You haven't for almost a year." A woman that I didn't know was the one that responded to me, her gaze confused as I looked at her. As my gaze moved from one person to the next, they all looked as confused as she did. Some had concern mixed in with their gazes, others had pity mixed in with them. "You haven't seen him in almost that long either."

That... wasn't right.

Even if we didn't work together anymore, that much time wouldn't have passed without us seeing each other. Neither one of us would have let that happen. Was it because we were no longer a shipped couple? They thought I didn’t need him anymore, that I didn’t need to know where he was, that none of it matter anymore? Was that what people thought? That just because all of that had slipped away, eased into the past, that I didn’t need him anymore? That I didn’t want to know where he was, to know how he was, to be by his side? It hadn’t been a brief moment in time, a passing thing.

I wanted Phi.

I turned and left the people behind me, moving from room to room in search for the one man that could soothe away the fear that had crept up inside of me. No matter how hard I looked, no matter where I turned to, he wasn’t there. It felt like I searched for hours, going everywhere and every place that I looked in was just void of him. Anyone that I asked just looked at me and shrugged, shaking their heads before turning away, offering no help to search for him. They had no knowledge of where he was either, they didn’t seem to care.

Everything was dark and I felt lost. It all felt wrong because he wasn’t here, and I couldn’t find him. No matter where I turned or looked, he wasn’t there, and no one seemed to know or seemed to care. What was I supposed to do if I couldn’t find him?

It felt like hours had passed before I sank down into a chair slowly, my gaze traveling around whatever room I had ended up in slowly. I didn't even know where I was now, not that I cared. I couldn't find Phi and that was all that I cared about. I couldn't find him, and no one seemed to care that I couldn't, didn't seem to care about helping me find him.

Did I not need him anymore? I did. I needed him, wanted him. I dropped my head back against the chair and let my eyes close slowly, an ache settling into my chest as I rubbed at it, unable to get rid of it. I didn't like this, I didn't.

\-----

Everything was different as I opened my eyes, the ceiling that I stared up at as I struggled to calm my racing heart wasn’t the familiar one of Phi’s house. I stared up at in in confusion for a few brief seconds before I realized that it was the ceiling of my condo. I wasn’t at Phi’s house. I was at my condo for some reason. In my bedroom.

Alone.

Why was I here? Why was I alone?

Why did my chest hurt?

I sat up, looking around the room slowly in the dark, saw no signs that I had company here with me. No clothes tossed on the ground like they always ended up when I was with Phi, no discarded towel that had been used for clean up purposes. Everything was in its place, where I had remembered leaving it, nothing out of the ordinary. Other than the fact that I was here at all.

Slowly I crawled out of bed and left the room silently, glanced down the hallway towards the bathroom, but turned away when I saw the light was off and headed towards the kitchen in search of him. Maybe he would be there, looking for something to drink. He wasn't there either. As I moved from room to room, the ache in my chest grew stronger each time I turned away from the empty room, not having found what I was looking for. Who I was looking for. I went into the living room slowly, the last room in the condo for me to search. My gaze traveled the room slowly as I rubbed at the ache in my chest.

"Phi?" This room was empty too.

My breath hitched as I sank onto the couch, looking around the room for some sort of indication that he’d been here but came back with none. There was no dish left on the table, no piece of clothing draped over the arm of a chair, nothing out of place to indicate that anyone had been settled here recently. There had been no indication of anything in any of the rooms that I’d ventured into, no sign that there had been more than just one person in there.

Why couldn’t I find him? It didn’t make sense, but for some reason I couldn’t understand why it didn’t make sense. It felt like he should have been right there next to me when I woke up, that I should have been able to reach out for him, yet I hadn’t been able to. He hadn’t been there, and I didn’t know why. I didn’t know where he had gone, didn’t know where he was now. None of it made sense even though something in the back of my mind was trying to tell me something. I just couldn't tell what.

The room swam as tears crept into my eyes, distorting everything in my vision. It hurt, not being able to find him. Not being able to reach out and find the comfort of his warmth. It wasn't like I woke up to him every day. There were times where I slept at my condo, but more and more I was with him. More and more, I was able to reach out and find his warmth and comfort. Not being able to felt off, wrong.

It was a jarring realization that I didn't like.

I wiped at the tears that slid down my cheeks. What had happened for the two of us to drift apart like that? It hadn't been just a passing thing, I knew that. I loved him. As I glanced around the room, I looked desperately for something that was his again, a soft whimper slipping free when I saw nothing of his anywhere. "P'Mew?"

"Gulf? What are you doing out here?"

I looked up at the sound of his voice, briefly saw him gazing at me before my vision blurred and he disappeared from my view once more. As I wiped desperately at my eyes, tried to blink my gaze clear so I could see him, he crossed the room to me, sank to his knees in front of me. This time when I looked at him, he was so blissfully, beautifully close, so clearly there in front of me. I cupped his face in trembling hands, my vision blurring once again as I pressed my forehead against his.

" _Tua-eng_? Baby? What’s wrong?" His voice was full of concern as he rubbed the top of my legs. "Why are you crying? What happened?"

When he eased back, likely to find tissues as my tears flowed faster, I scrambled after him with wide eyes, a soft whine of fear slipping from me as I latched onto him. My arms went around him, my fingers curling into the back of his shirt in a hold that would have been difficult to disentangle himself from under normal circumstances. Now, it would have been near impossible as I clung to him with every ounce of strength that I possessed.

"I couldn’t find you and no one would tell me where you were." My voice was shaky as I spoke, soft and hard to understand. He started to stroke my hair in his soothing way, making my chest ache, making me try to snuggle my way in closer to him. It didn’t matter than I was all but crushing myself against him, it wasn’t close enough. I wasn’t close enough to him. Disappearing inside of him wouldn’t have been close enough.

"What do you mean?"

I held fast to the back of his shirt, fear gripping me that if I let go, he would disappear, that he would slip away, and I wouldn’t be able to find him again. "I couldn’t find you and no one would tell me where you were. I asked and no one would tell me where you were. You were gone. I couldn’t find you. I looked and you w-weren’t anywhere. We weren’t home and I was confused and then I couldn’t find you and it scared me. No matter where I looked, you weren't anywhere. I looked and looked, and you weren't there. I sat down for a minute and then woke up in bed here and you weren't there either. I was alone."

" _Tua-eng_ … You had a nightmare. It’s alright. I’m right here, baby. See me? Feel me?" He held me tighter to the point that it felt like he was trying to absorb me into his skin, pressed his lips to my forehead when I tipped my head up to look at him. He didn’t refer to it as _just_ a nightmare, nightmares could grip a person in a very real, very terrifying experience that they could struggle to separate from reality. It could drag you down, striking fear into your heart, stealing the breath from your lungs, leaving you shaken for hours afterwards.

And it had felt so real. So, so real. I hadn’t been able to tell that I had been caught in sleep when I had been in the hands of the nightmare, everything had blurred together when I had woken up. Then not being able to find him when I searched for him had sent fear coursing through me. It had made everything feel so much more real, like that nightmare was becoming reality. He hadn’t been there, I hadn’t been able to find him, hadn’t known what to do.

"I c-couldn’t find you." I trembled, pressing my face into his neck as he rubbed my back in soothing motions. His scent wrapping around me was a balm to my nerves, his touch slowly helping to steady my racing heart. I wasn’t mad at him, wasn’t upset that he hadn’t been there. I just needed… reassurance. Needed to hear his voice, to hear soft words from him.

"I went to the bathroom, baby. When I came back, you weren’t in bed, then I heard you calling my name out here. So, I came looking for you." He said softly. I hadn’t bothered going towards the bathroom because the stupid light had been off. Sometimes he didn't turn the stupid light on. My breath hitched again, and he shifted, sitting down properly and pulling me into his lap where I curled into him, let him cradle me against him and rock me in gentle motions. "That question upset you, didn’t it?"

I turned my face away from him, turned it into his shoulder and nodded slowly. There hadn’t been an intent to harm behind the question, but it had been like a quick stab to the heart when I had heard it. What would we do when we were no longer a shipped couple? Would we be alright with the other working with someone else, being a shipped couple with that person instead of the other person? Would we allow it?

There should have been no reason that the words hurt as much as they did, why they struck as deeply as they did, but for some reason… they had hurt. In the moment I had turned to Phi in my uncertainty, laughed when the reporter and he had, given the response I had thought I needed to. Of course, I would, I would support his career growth, would cheer him on, be happy for him. He would do what he needed to do, go where things took him. Had smiled through it all, laughed off the way I had just turned towards him initially.

And my words had been true. I would support his career growth, cheer him on, be happy for him. I would be happy for him when he was taken to better places by bigger offers, was allowed to do more versatile work as more people became interested in him. I would be proud of him, so proud. But would I still be able to see him or would things take him far away from me? That question had struck fear into my heart and then when I hadn’t been able to find him, hadn’t realized at the time that nightmare had blurred over into reality, it had shaken me.

Had time taken him far away from me?

"I don’t care if people view us as a shipped couple anymore, I don’t want time to take you away from me. To where I can’t see you because you’re there and I’m here. We’ll be busy, I know that but… I still want to be able to see you. To sit like this. See your face and not just over the phone. Don’t want to have to steal time away from schedules because we’ll both be tired if that happens." Everything just came spilling out when I started talking, and he listened to me, just rocking me in gentle motions.

"Baby… I’m not going anywhere. You’re not going anywhere." He rubbed the back of my neck in a soothing motion, drawing a shudder of relief from me. A small part of me felt foolish for having been worried because of a simple question, a question that I should have just let roll off my back without thinking twice about but it had just lingered at the back of my mind, even as I had tried to ignore it. And I had tried, I had tried to ignore it as the night progressed on, tried to push it out of my head, thought I had managed to.

"Come stay with me. You view it as home, come live with me. We’ll return back to each other each night, no matter what our schedules have planned for us. We’ll be there to sleep together, to wake up together. We might have to part ways to go work on our own individual activities for the day, but we’ll come back home to each other at night."

Phi’s house did feel like home. I felt safe and warm there, it felt familiar and comfortable. There was never a time where I felt out of place or simply like I was a guest there. It always felt like I was welcome, like I could walk in even when he wasn’t there, and it wouldn’t be strange. That it wouldn’t be odd for him to find be there, just waiting for him to come back from work or school. When I said I was going home, I didn’t always mean my condo. There were times, more often than not anymore, that when I said home, home meant Phi’s house.

Oh, I wanted to. Every single ounce of me wanted to. There was nothing more that I wanted than to move every item that I owned and transfer it to Phi’s house. To empty out this condo and never look back at it. I had no reason to say no to him, no reason to shake my head, give any sound of refusal, but there were reasons to be cautious. There would be questions that arose because humans were curious creatures by nature.

"People are going to ask questions if I suddenly get rid of my condo, if my address changes." I mumbled softly against his shoulder.

"You’ve gotten a little more cautious. That’s interesting." He touched his lips to my temple when I turned my head to the side. "So, keep this place to stop questions. Just bring things that you want or need. Do it gradually. You can stay here every now and then to stop questions from being asked. My place is closer to some things, your place other things. We can rotate where we stay at if we need to."

I listened to him, nodded slowly at his suggestion. I didn’t care where we stayed at, I just wanted to be with him. Wanted to be able to fall asleep with him, to be able to wake up with him.

"I don’t care where we stay. I just want to be with you. We could stay at a hotel and I’d be happy." I mumbled the last part and made him laugh. I peered up at him curiously, tilting my head a little bit when he looked down at me, kissing my temple softly.

"I can only imagine the headlines that the reporters would run if they were to catch wind of that one."

Heat crept up into my cheeks and I smacked his shoulder gently. I hadn’t thought about that, not that he wasn’t right. They’d have a field day with that one. He flashed me a grin, nuzzling my cheek affectionately as he drew me in closer to him. I went willingly, my nerves still seeking the comfort of knowing that he was here and with me, not off somewhere that I couldn’t find.

"Shut up. I didn’t mean it like that."

"Too bad. I could always arrange it, if you wanted a hotel night, you know." He murmured softly.

I pressed my face into his neck as heat rushed into my face, his laugh filling my ears as he hugged me in close to him. Sometimes the things he said left me flustered and speechless, my mind unable to process any sort of possible response to him at all. And the man took pleasure in the knowledge of it.

"We'll go home tomorrow night, after our schedule. We’ll sleep in our bed together, wake up together. Does that sound good?" He asked. I nodded as he cradled me against him, my nerves slowly starting to settle as I pressed as close to him as I possibly could get, he drew me in as close as he possibly could.

That sounded like heaven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't throw things at me. I included this because when I saw the clip of the interviewer asking that question, both of them did, genuinely, seem a little bothered with it. A little startled by it, like they hadn't actually thought of the other working in another series like that with someone that wasn't them. They undoubtedly have their own insecurities, but they've said themselves that they talk things out when disagreements happen. I believe that would carry over to any insecurities as well. Even with Tharntype's filming being done, I don't believe they're going anywhere. Unless it's on their honeymoon. Just sayin.
> 
> And I promise, I won't do angsty here again. I'll give you the next chapter early to make up for this one. It's cute and sweet.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I offer sweetness to you all.

** Mew **

When I woke, I had Gulf pressed back against me and my face nuzzled into the back of his neck, his scent wrapped around me in a far better blanket than anything I could have ever asked for. His squirming in his sleep had slowly stopped the more we slept together, he only really shifted when he needed to reposition in the night. Even if he had continued to squirm about, I would had adjusted to it, learned to sleep through all the movement if it meant that I could have him next to me, if I could wake up next to him.

I drew him further back against me, nuzzling his skin gently as he came willingly to me, enjoying the knowledge that he would be next to me from here on out in the future since he had agreed to live with me. We would alternate between locations if we needed to, but we would be together. I would get to see him when I woke up and before I went to sleep. It made me smile as I pressed a soft kiss to the back of his shoulder, a soft shiver shaking his body as he mumbled softly at me.

“Is it time to get up, Phi?”

I glanced at the clock and shook my head, rubbing his stomach absently as was a habit of mine. “No, you can go back to sleep, baby. We don’t have to get up. I’m sorry I woke you. Go on, go back to sleep, Phi won’t bother you again.”

Gulf shook his head and took my hand, moving it from his stomach, down along his body to where he waited warm and hard for me. As I took him into my grasp, he rocked himself back into me, a soft whine coming from him, the sound a little deeper because of his freshly woken state. He rocked himself between my strokes and my hips, stirring my desire for him as he moved back against me.

“Let me prepare you, baby?” When he nodded, I lent back, grabbing what I needed before returning and pushed the blanket down out of the way. I coated my fingers in lubricant, warmed it before easing them inside of him gently. They slid inside of him easily, his body taking me easily from our session the night before, but I wasn’t going to risk not ensuring he was ready for me. Besides, I enjoyed drawing out the soft sounds from him when I brought pleasure to him like his.

Slowly he lent forward, easing onto his stomach, his hips tipped into the air for me, a soft moaning escaping him as I rocked my hand into him, his cheek resting against the bed. I rubbed his hip gently, enjoyed the way his breath hitched as I found the bundle of nerves inside of him, his fingers digging into the bed

Only when he gave a soft nod of permission did I remove my fingers, roll the condom down over myself, move over him, and ease myself inside of him in a slow glide, His moan filled the room, a soft sound that was beautiful to me. I lent into him, sinking deeper into him as I did, dropping a kiss to the back of his shoulder. It wasn’t often that I took him so he was facing away from me, I enjoyed touching him too much, enjoyed kissing him too much, but sometimes seeing him like this was nice too. With his face turned to the side, hit lip caught between his teeth as heat crept up along the back of his neck, feeling his hips rocking back to meet mine as I eased forward into him.

I braced my hands on either side of his head as I thrust inside of him, drawing soft moans of pleasure from him, his hands moving to hold onto my wrists as I moved inside of him, his nails biting into my skin in soft motions as he tipped his head forward. I took advantage of the exposed skin, dropping soft kisses to the back of his neck, exploring the sensitive skin to draw out whimpers from him as he rocked his hips back in time with me.

I didn’t drive him hard or fast, just gentle and steady movements of my hips against his, meeting his in slow movements that drew soft moans and pants from him as I gave him pleasure that no one else was permitted to. All the while I did what I always did, I watched his responses. I watched the way he bit his lip, the way the back of his neck flushed with color, felt the way his hips rocked back against me, felt his nails digging into my wrists when I struck deep against him. I saw when his body began to tremble, heard the increased speed of his breathing. His eyes were closed, not squeezing shut, just closed as he rode on the pleasure I gave to him.

Sometimes I wondered if he enjoyed having his sense of sight taken away.

“Right there.” He whined when I hit his sensitive spot, squirmed his hips back against me. His hips didn’t lift very far away from the bed, but it was indication enough for me to know what he wanted. I rocked my hips forward into him again, struck the spot once more, making him tremble beneath me as he inhaled sharply.

“Does it feel good, _tua-eng_?” I asked softly and he nodded, his fingers curling into the sheets next to my hands. “I know you want to come; I can see it. I can feel it, baby. Come for me.”

I was surprised when he shook his head, a soft whine coming from his parted lips. “Not yet. I can go higher for you, Phi. I can wait. Give me more, Phi. Please.” He said, his cheeks turning pink as he spoke. Whenever I coaxed him higher, he went without complaint, though he had never intentionally held himself back when he had desired that release. This was a first.

“You always give me so much, baby. You’re going to give me more?” I kissed the back of his shoulder gently as he nodded softly in response. I gave him what he wanted, taking him higher with the gentle rocking of my hips into his, soft words whispered into his ear that he responded to with whimpers and whines, his nails digging into the sheets. I didn’t need to be vulgar when I spoke with him sexually to draw his desire higher, to stir his need stronger. The well-timed word or words, spoken softly into his ear could work magic over his nerves, could send his body trembling. I had come to understand what he enjoyed hearing, knew he enjoyed whispered words of praise.

I could see it in his body when he began to struggle against his need, I could see it in the way he bit down on his lip and in the way his breathing quickened. I wasn’t the one dangling the release out of his reach this time. It was there, all he had to do was let go, let himself fall over that edge that I had worked him to. He was the one holding himself back, refusing to let himself go over, the fight slowly becoming more difficult as his body trembled, his whine pitching higher.

I dropped soothing kisses along the back of his shoulder, rocking my hips into him, sinking deeper into him. He drew in a sharp breath, pulling the sheets in towards himself as a tremble rocked him, a moan filling the room before it was muffled as he turned his face into the mattress. A small smile touched my lips at how stubborn he was being, at how hard he was fighting against the urge that was crashing against him.

“Go on over for me, baby… Don’t hold back anymore.” I gave another small smile when he fumbled for my wrists, gripped onto them as tightly as he could. “Let me feel you go over, Gulf. Go on, _tua-eng_. There you go, just like that. Don’t hold it back.”

I pressed my forehead against the back of his shoulder as his body trembled, his orgasm rushing over him as he moaned my name. Normally I would have continued to move inside of him as he came, take him through his pleasure, but this time I gave myself the enjoyment of feeling his body tense and tighten around me, enjoyed the feel of the small rocking of his hips as he drifted on his pleasure.

He didn’t have to prompt me to start to move my hips against him again, I did so on my own when I felt the trembles in his body ease, heard his breathing steady out. My body desired its own release, but my desire would never win out over the urge to take care of him. His comfort would always come first with me. I didn’t go hard on him, had no desire to. The gentle rock of hips was enough for me, mixed with the soft sound of his moans, drawing me to my crest, pulling me over it in a smooth motion. I pressed my forehead against the back of his shoulder gently again as I groaned his name, the feel of his hips rocking back into me as they had when he had come making me shudder.

I eased myself from him and he wiggled himself onto his side to gaze up at me. He didn’t need to say anything for me to know what he wanted, to know what it was that both of us wanted. I found his lips with mine, kissed him gently and made him smile, a soft pleased sound escaping him. Sometimes, more often than not, it was useful being able to communicate without words. Made things simpler. I kissed his cheek in an affectionate manner, tipped my head when I saw him watching me.

"What did you mean that I already give you so much, Phi?" Gulf asked and I eased him onto his back, gazed down at him. He looked at me with eyes full of love, unwavering trust, and an innocence that would never be touched by anything sexual that I may do with him. It was an innocence that reflected the kindness of his heart. He truly didn't know what it was that he gave to me.

I touched my lips to his forehead before I sought his out with mine once more, kissed him softly, slowly until I felt his lips part and a soft sigh of contentment escape him. I stroked his cheek softly as I eased myself to the side to lay next to him, drawing him in against my side, my gaze following the angles of his face as I took in the sight of him in the morning light.

Waking up to the sight of him would be something I would forever enjoy.

"Phi?" He turned his body towards me, tipping his head so his forehead pressed against mine. His fingers traced over my lips and I pressed a soft kiss to each one as he did, enjoying the way his cheeks turned pink at the actions, also pleased with the way he didn't withdraw his hand from the gesture. He was shy but didn't shy away from the affection.

"It's strange that you don't know all that you've given to me, when you've given me so much." I gave him a small smile at his confused look. He wouldn't understand my words, there was no reason for him to. "I approached you first to take down your walls, but you extended your hand to me first, Gulf. When you picked me to work with, it was a gentle extending of your hand to me. I took down your walls, but you were doing the same to me in your own way. I had my own up.”

As I spoke, he wiggled his way closer to me and I drew him in willingly, glad when he sought out his place against me. He nuzzled his head against my chest, his nose brushing against my skin as he did, his arm draping over my waist and his fingers traced a light path over my lower back that I wondered if he knew was rather soothing.

He listened in his quiet, comforting way as I explained what I meant to him, his fingers tracing their same path over my back as I spoke. He didn't interrupt me, just letting me voice things that I had kept to myself for a very, very long time. It was a surprise, how much of a relief it was to let it go, to get it off my chest.

"You were a comforting touch that I had been longing for but hadn't been aware I had been longing for." He pressed his lips to my chest, over my heart and I gave him a small smile. "I locked it away for a while. You managed to unlock it, you know?"

"Because I had the key." He glanced up at me, gave me one of his smiles that always made my heart melt. I gave him a curious look and his lifted his hand up, giving me a small fingerheart, a soft giggle filling the room when I bumped my forehead against his, unable to resist the smile that settled over my lips. "See? I had the key."

Whatever shape the key may have been, whatever it might have been, he had had it. And it might just have been that warm, shy smile of his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're all enjoying everything as I update. Being able to write keeps me sane with everything that's going on, I really enjoy doing it. I always look forward to your comments and I've become familiar with a lot of your icons as well (I'm better with icons than I am names, I'm horrible with names in real life too). So, please stay safe everyone!
> 
> There's a new MewGulf AU up, if you're interested. It's a college AU this time, so something different. But I heard two songs and it just kind of formed in my head. The strangest things will give me ideas sometimes, I swear.
> 
> You can come follow me on Twitter, if you'd like. I'm a fan of other BL series as well, so you're welcome to talk to me about others or writing! I don't bite, I promise. I'm far too shy for that. I promise. Pinkie promise.
> 
> @filltheblankpg


	15. Chapter Fifteen

** Gulf **

Phi was tired. He didn’t show it to others, but they didn’t know him as well as I did. Despite the smiles that he flashed and the cheerful way that he talked to others, I could see the fatigue lingering beneath his gaze, hear the tiredness in his voice. I followed him with my eyes as he wandered the room, answering the questions of people who came up to him, giving them warm smiles and nods as he spoke.

He hadn’t gotten the chance to sleep well the night before, he’d stayed up late to work on schoolwork, coming to bed far later than he said he would. I hadn’t been too pleased when he had crawled into bed and I had seen what time it was, but I’d said nothing, just let him drop off quickly and curled into him. I wasn’t going to scold him. I didn’t have anything to do today, he did. One, I didn’t want to sour his mood and two, I understood the delicate balancing act of work and schooling. Not to the same extent he had to do, but I did understand it to an extent.

I had tagged along with him today simply because I had wanted to, something that we both did often enough. I would go with him if I didn’t have a schedule and he did, he would go with me if I did and he didn’t. It wasn’t a surprise to anyone anymore, something that was just accepted by them now. We came in a pair often, one coming along with the other if the situation allowed it. It’s something that we had come to prefer. I felt more comfortable when Phi was around anyway.

As a staff member left Phi, having the answer they needed, his gaze turned towards me and he gave me a tired smile. I returned it with a small one of my own, holding a hand out towards him from my spot on the couch. A few glances were turned towards us, something I ignored as he joined me, sitting down next to me, taking my hand into his. Both of us had grown used to the glances, the stares when people weren’t so subtle about things. More recently, we had become more aware of them, more careful of them but overall, they were nothing new.

“You’re tired, Phi.” I said as his head found the back of the couch to rest on. He gave me another tired smile, squeezing my hand in a reassuring manner. Like he wasn’t that tired, like I didn’t really need to worry about him. “How long until they need you to go for hair and makeup? We got here early. Traffic wasn’t as bad as we were anticipating.”

Phi glanced at a clock that hung on the wall and closed his eyes for a moment. “About an hour? They’ve just been asking some questions about this and that. Making sure that everything is right, or this is fine to talk about. Things like that. Not that everyone listens to those guidelines.”

I nodded a little. Sometimes they slid in a question that they weren’t supposed to and laughed it off, scolding themselves for having asked at all. It was also something we were used to, that we had adapted to handling. I shifted, grabbing the pillow next to me and sat it in my lap, giving his hand a small tug. When he looked at me, I pointed to the pillow, which he gave a confused look. For someone so smart, he could be a little clueless sometimes. I would let it slide as him being tired for now.

“Lay down for a little while. Sleep. I’ll wake you up when they’re ready for you. It’ll be hard for you to focus if you’re this tired, Phi.” I said softly and gave his hand another tug when he shook his head lightly, sending me another small smile. He was being stubborn, and I knew it, he knew it. He accused me of being stubborn, yet he could be just as stubborn as me when he wanted to be.

“I’ll be fine. They might need me to answer more questions for them.” He said, rubbing his thumb over the back of my knuckles as he gazed at me.

I slid my gaze away from him, my lower lip poking out just a little bit, but it was enough. I heard him say my name softly, heard him call Yai Nong in a soft tone, give a gentle tug to my hand as I let my sulking mode flip on. I kept my gaze turned away from him, nodding just a little, like I understood what he was saying. Perhaps it was sinking a little low to use the trick to get my way, but it wasn’t like I was doing it to get something that I wanted for _myself_. I just wanted him to lay down, to sleep for a little longer. I was using a trick that worked on him, for him.

Strange how that worked out.

“Alright. I’ll lay down, but I’m not sleeping, Yai Nong.” He said and did as he said, laying down, his back to the room as he faced me. He glanced up towards me. “Happy now?”

Not quite, but it was a start. I shrugged a little and took his phone away from him when he pulled it out, scrunching my nose at him when he lifted a brow at me. I sat it on the arm of the couch next to me, letting my hand rest on the pillow by his head for a few seconds before trailing my fingers through his hair in light, soothing motions that I knew would lull him to sleep. I glanced down at him, watched him close his eyes, smiled as he slipped off as I had wanted him to.

As he slept, I fended people off from waking him. I answered the questions they had in a soft voice if I could, asked them to come back later if I didn’t know the answer for sure. Questioning glances were shot towards us more than once and, while at one time I would have felt the rushed urge to explain things away, I said nothing. Just kept the slow, soothing motion of my fingers through his hair as he slept, his head tipped towards my stomach. Those who were familiar with us knew that we were clingy, those who weren’t came to understand it quickly enough.

“Gulf?” I glanced up at the sound of a soft voice. One of the staff members that Phi had been speaking with earlier had come over, her voice soft as she glanced towards Phi. “Is he alright? He isn’t sick, is he?”

I gave her a small smile and shook my head. “No. He said he stayed up later than he should have last night working on schoolwork. Didn’t get a lot of sleep, so he’s just tired. I thought it would be good if he got a little sleep before he went off for hair and makeup. Do you need him now?”

“You’re both always so busy. It’s nice to see that you’re looking out for each other. I hope he gets more proper sleep tonight.” Oh, he would. I would tie him to the bed if I had to. “We do need him now, I’m sorry. We might be able to skip hair though. You’ve done such a nice job on his hair yourself.”

Heat crept into my cheeks as I woke Phi gently, my gaze darting away from the woman in front of me and down towards him. Alright, so maybe I should have been a little more subtle while he slept, but oh well.

\-----

I sat waiting in bed for Phi, waiting for him to finish showering before joining me in bed. Normally I would have showered with him, but I had decided against it tonight, hadn’t wanted things to potentially roam to other realms. Sometimes they did, sometimes they didn’t. It all depended on the moment. Our hands weren’t constantly all over each other.

Okay, they were, but not like that.

We weren’t always nude and rolling around with each other at every given moment. We enjoyed touching each other, but a hand on a leg, at a waist or shoulder, holding hands was enough. Snuggling up together when we were home made up happy, made us content often enough. So often when we returned home, we were too tired to do anything but exactly that. I might not have been tired tonight, but Phi was, and I was going to make sure that he slept.

When he came into the room, I looked towards him and smiled, watched as he shut the door behind himself and crossed the room to the bed. As he approached me, I held my arms open to him, a silent invitation to him. He joined me on the bed and kissed me softly, drawing me in close to him. I went to him willingly, scooting myself in closer to him, smiling into the kiss as his hand traced a light pattern over my back.

“That was a cheap trick you used on me earlier, Yai Nong.” He murmured softly, pressing his forehead against mine. Gently I caressed his cheeks, smiled as he turned his face into my hand and touched his lips to my palm. “Sulking at me to get your way. That wasn’t very nice.”

“But it wasn’t for my benefit. It was for yours.” I said. “I just wanted you to sleep a little before you had to go to work. You stayed up longer than you said you were going to. You’re lucky I didn’t scold you and actually sulk at you for real. I could have, you know. I almost did, but I was too worried about you. I could see how tired you were.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” He kissed my temple and watched me as I shifted back, laying down on my back and patted my chest before holding my arms open to him, gesturing for him to come to me. He lifted a brow at me, tipping his head to the side. “What are you doing?”

I patted my chest again. “I’m always using you as a pillow. I’ll be your pillow tonight. Come here. I’ll be a comfortable pillow, you’ll see. Come test me out as a pillow, you find out that I’m right.” I wiggled my fingers as he continued to gaze at me, heat creeping up into my cheeks under his gaze.

For a moment I thought he wasn’t going to do it, thought he was going to lay down next to me and pull me into his arms instead. If he would sleep, I would let him, I would curl up next to him, find my normal place against his side and make sure that he drifted off to sleep. Then he was moving and laying down, but his head didn’t come to rest on my chest. He rested it against my stomach, an arm draping over my waist as he drew me closer to him. I lifted myself up onto my elbows to gaze down at him, a small smile curving my lips.

“That wasn’t where I invited you to lay at, Phi. You’re lowered than your offered spot.” I said, happy with the way he closed his eyes as he settled himself there, his hand finding its way to the side of my stomach, stroking a soft path over my skin. “But if it makes you happy, then you can stay there. I don’t mind it.”

I liked it, in fact.

“It makes me very happy, _tua-eng_.” He murmured softly as I shifted my weight to one elbow so I could stroke his hair gently. He was already starting to drift off, I could tell by the sound of his voice, the changing of his breathing. I watched him as he slept, felt the familiar warmth in my chest as the endless well of love I felt for him spilled over and rushed in over me. I trailed my fingers through his hair gently, taking care to not wake him.

“I love you, P’Mew.” I said softly, smiled as he nuzzled my stomach and my heart fluttered. In time, I settled back, let myself drift to sleep with Phi’s head nuzzled into my stomach and my fingers resting on the top of his head. It might not have been the most romantic way to fall asleep and we probably wouldn’t wake up like that, but it’s where we were both happy being at. Together, with each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a shorter one, but the next one is on the longer side so hopefully the next one makes up for it.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

** Mew **

The level of trust Gulf had in me was on full display as he knelt nude on the bed, letting me slip a blindfold over his head, settling it gently over his eyes. He helped adjust it into the proper position, passed his hands in the air in front of him when his sight was cut off. I had asked him about using a blindfold once in passing recently, had received a positive response from him. His eyes had lit up in curiosity when I had mentioned it and he had given a verbal go ahead for the idea.

I took the moment to let my gaze wander over him, taking in the sight of him kneeling there, his head turning from side to side though he could see nothing. It was a truly vulnerable position for him to be in, nude and exposed to me like this. Normally he could see what I was going to do next, had some idea of what was going to happen next, but here he would have no idea. He would be at my mercy, would have to trust me in my actions.

When I had offered the blindfold to him, he had shown no hesitation in taking it from me, in putting it on. Only an excitement and interest that warmed my heart because there had been no hesitation or uncertainty when he had taken it from me. Despite his quiet, shy nature, he was still willing to be bare and vulnerable with me, to explore things that were new to us.

“Phi?” He reached out in front of him, nearly made contact with my chest but stopped just short of finding me. “Are you still here?”

I took his hand, made him jump a little as I lifted it to my face, let his fingers play over the dips and curve of my face. A small smile slid onto his lips as I watched him and I dropped a soft kiss to his palm, moved my lips up to his wrist slowly to press a gentle kiss to the skin there. When I glanced up towards him, he had drawn his lower lip between his teeth, bitten down on it lightly. I couldn’t help but smile as I slid my hand up along his arm slowly, caressing the side of his neck before cupping his cheek, coaxing him to release his lip by sliding my thumb over the small bit of his lip that wasn’t caught by his teeth.

“Right here with you, like I’ll always be, _tua-eng_.” I said softly, dropping a soft kiss to his lips. “You take this off whenever you want to, alright? If you get uncomfortable or even if you just get tired of having it on. Understand? No, don’t just nod this time, baby. Tell me you understand first, okay?” I stroked his cheek gently, wanting more than the quick bob of his head that he gave me.

“I understand, Phi. I’ll take it off if I get uncomfortable or don’t want it on anymore. I won’t force myself to keep it on. I promise.” He said, sliding his hands up to cup my face, pressing his lips to mine gently. Normally I would have taken his nod and gone with it, but for this I wanted a clearer understanding. We were venturing into something newer, something where I wouldn’t be able to see the look in his eye to tell if he were growing uncomfortable. He would be in control of taking it off if the desire to struck him, I didn’t want him leaving it on because he thought I wanted him to.

“Good.” I murmured softly, drawing him in to me gently, capturing his lips with my own once more. The kiss I gave to him was gentle, one that he sank into willingly, his arms coming around my waist as he moved in closer to me. My fingertips played a slow path up the curve of his spine as he parted his lips, a soft moan coming from him. He arched into me, his hands going flat against my back as his chest pressed against mine, my tongue brushing inside of his mouth slowly.

I loved the soft arch of his back, enjoyed the way he brought his body towards mine when he was enjoying something that I was doing. It was an instinctive response, something that he didn’t think about doing, just did it. It was the same with how he tipped his head to the side as I moved my lips from his to his neck, seeking out that sensitive spot that I was fond of. He moved his head willingly for me, without thought or hesitation, letting me drop soft kisses over his skin.

Soft whines and whimpers came from him as I nuzzled the spot, his breath hitching when I drew against his skin in a soft sucking motion. Not hard enough or long enough to leave a mark, but his nails dug into my back as a moan filled the room. I smiled against his skin and helped ease him onto his back, his skin having grown flushed as he settled himself down beneath me, his fingers trailing along my sides before his hands dropped down to rest on the bed.

“Phi won’t leave?” He asked as I got what I needed from the drawer, set it down by his hip. I glanced down at him, dropped a soft kiss to his forehead before pressing my lips to his gently. It must have been a strange experience, laying there with no sight. Relying on your other senses to guide you through everything else. He could feel me move around unless I fell still, which I could do to make him wonder what was going to happen next.

“Not without telling you, _tua-eng_.” I couldn’t promise him that I would never leave, it wasn’t a promise I could keep. There would be times where work would take us away from each other for a period of time, where we would be forced to part ways, but we would have this house, this place to return home to each other. There would always be open arms waiting to welcome the other back. “I’ll be beside you, behind you, in front of you. Wherever you need me to be at. Don’t worry. I’ll always be with you.”

He smiled and nodded, kissing my palm as I caressed his cheek gently, kissing the pad of my thumb as I brushed it over his lips slowly. I captured his lips with mine once more, more heat behind it as I sought entrance once more, which he gave to me willingly. I stayed at his lips, drawing soft whimpers and whines from him until I felt him tremble beneath me, his fingers trailing a slow path up my arms.

They tangled in my hair as I began my descent down his body, soft kisses marking the path that I took. Attention was paid to the buds on his chest, drawing lazy circles around them with my tongue before drawing them into my mouth slowly. Whines and whimpers filled the room as I focused my attention there, savoring the soft sounds of pleasure that he gave to me, the soft tugs that indicated that he was enjoying what I was doing.

It wasn’t often that Gulf tried to coax me to do anything, he was typically very glad to take what I offered to him, happy to ride on the sensations that flowed over him as I gave his body attention. So, when he tugged gently at my hair, tried coaxing my head further down along his body, I couldn’t help but chuckle and follow the path that he guided me in. As I went, I dropped soft kisses to his skin, paused before I reached where I knew he was guiding me to, drawing a soft whine of protest from him.

“Please…”

The soft plea wasn’t something that I could ignore, something that I could deny to him. I drew him into my mouth slowly, the bitter taste of precum already on my tongue as I used my mouth on him. It was a taste that I would never tire of, something that I would be the only one to ever be able to draw forth from him. In time, as I worked him higher, his fingers tightened in my hair and he began a gentle guidance of my motions, seeking further entrance to my mouth.

I let him, let him guide me as he desired, his reactions something I kept watch on at all times. There was never a time where Gulf wasn’t ultimately in control, even if I was the more dominant one between the two of us, but I wasn’t afraid of backing off before he came, of making him wait a little longer before letting him have that moment. It was something I did often, made him wait until later when I knew when he would enjoy it better, when it would be more gratifying for him.

As he guided me, I busied myself with other activities, easing his legs further apart before warming lube between my fingers, easing them inside of him gradually. Preparing him didn’t take long, was a pleasurable task for both parties. Pleasurable for him in obvious ways as he moaned, his hips rocking between my fingers inside of him and my mouth wrapped around him. It brought me pleasure in a different manner, knowing that I could make him moan in the ways that I did, that I could make him whimper my name in need as he ran his fingers through my hair.

I rocked my fingers inside of him, making him cry my name out as I struck the bundle of nerves inside of him, bitterness filling my mouth as precum hit my tongue once more. He gave soft, little thrusts into my mouth as his desire grew, his need crept higher. The knowledge that I could stir his desire so much, drive that need higher inside of him in such a manner was a delight to me. I eased back slowly and released him, much to his displeasure as he gave soft tugs to my hair, trying to draw me back to him. I rubbed the top of his leg soothingly as his breath hitched, a soft whine coming from him.

“I can’t let you come yet, baby. You know that. It’s too soon. I know you can handle more from me, right?” I eased my fingers from him slowly as he nodded and slid his fingers free from my hair. “See? You know I won’t be mean. I’m going to take care of you, don’t worry. That’s my, Yai Nong. I’ve got you.”

“Does Phi want me?” He asked softly his hands reaching forward, fumbling over my shoulders slowly when he found them as I moved back up. I took hold of his hand gently and pressed a soft kiss to his palm, a soft whine coming from him as my lips made contact with his skin. His fingers brushed over my cheek, found their way to my lips, tracing a soft path over them.

“Always, baby. Do you want to feel?” He nodded and I guided his hand down, let him curl his fingers around my cock, the contact making me groan. He stroked me in slow motions, his breath hitching softly when I rocked my hips into his grasp. Slowly he licked his lips, and I tipped my head, curious as to what he was thinking, curious to know what it was that he wanted. “What do you want, Gulf? You can tell me.”

His fingers slid a path up my body and his hands found my chest, resting there as if he were marking a place in his mind. I watched him, let him move his hands from my chest to my sides where he left them at while I resisted the urge to dodge his hands. I could say that I wasn’t ticklish, but it was a lie, I was, not that I would ever admit it.

“I want Phi to hold still.”

Not the answer I was expecting, but I told him I would and gazed at him curiously as he moved his hands to the bed, slid himself down, roamed his hands over my body like he was mapping his location out in his head before wiggling his way down further. It took a few seconds for me to click into what he was doing, lifting a brow at him when I finally did. I wouldn’t deny him what he wanted to do, even if it caught me off guard. Not because he never did it, he did, but because of the positioning. I was kneeling over him, after all.

His fingers fumbled over my inner thighs, traveled their way up until he found me once more, a soft sound of pleasure coming from him before he drew me into his mouth on a slow glide that I guided with a gentle touch. I let him control the pace, let him control his movements, but I cupped the back of his head gently to steady his movements, to give him support as he angled himself off the bed slightly. It wasn’t something he maintained for long, wasn’t an action that he was able to do for an extended period, but he did so eagerly, drawing me in and easing back in quick motions that had my breath quickening and my fingers tightening faintly in the back of his hair.

“Gulf.” I said his name in a soft warning, guided him to rest his head back as his breath came in soft pants, his cheeks flushed in excitement. I knew heat would be burning in his gaze beneath the blindfold, knew I would find need burning intense there if he were to move it away, but he left it right where it was, everything seeming to be driven higher by the lack of sight. I helped him move higher on the bed again, gave a soft chuckle when he wiggled his legs out from beneath me and slid them over my legs in a silent invitation, permission given.

“You have to find the condom. We’ll be here for hours if I have to find it.” He said with a small grin, his playful side shining through as I laughed. I was sure that he could locate it if he really tried since it wasn’t too far from his hip, not that he knew that. I picked it up, watched as he bit down on his lip as I tore it open. After I had placed it properly, I sat him up gently and slid his hands down, guided him in rolling it down over me. A soft whine escaped him as he followed my motions, his light touches near torture on me.

I kissed him, light and soft, as I lowered him back down to the bed, lent slowly over him, his body accepting me into him on a slow glide. His hands found my arms, his grip tightening on me as I rocked my hips into him, his head tipping to the side as pleasure rushed over him. He left his neck exposed to me, the tanned skin calling for my attention. I dropped soft kisses there, the urge to leave a mark there strong. Each time he left his neck open in invitation to me I had to reign back that urge, had to resist the call to leave my mark there on him to tell everyone that he was mine, that they could turn their hopes elsewhere. Yes, I had a mark elsewhere, but I loved this spot on his neck, I always found my lips traveling there when we were in private, always found my gaze traveling there if I wasn’t focused on his lips.

When his hands began to roam over my arms and up to my chest, I did something that may have been a little mean, but something that I knew would heighten his pleasure, heighten the rest of his senses. I lent back out of his reach, his fingertips sliding against my skin as he reached his hands after me but found nothing but air once I was out of his reach, a soft whine of protest coming from him. I knew he was aroused by it because I felt the way he clamped down around me, saw the way his skin flushed. I didn’t touch him as I rocked into him, kept my hands off of him which was just as hard for me as it was frustrating for him.

His hands roamed above him, dipped lower in search of me but found nothing as I lent back, watching as he bit down on his lower lip. There was no fear coming from him, just a sense of pleasure mixed with frustration as he couldn’t find me to touch, to run his hands over as I moved inside of him. It was something he was always allowed to do, run his hands over me, tangle his fingers in my hair. The only time he couldn’t was when he was supporting his own weight and even then, my hands were on him in some manner.

“I want Phi… Please.” He panted softly, his hands roaming in search of me once more. I gave a soft chuckle, and he moved his hands in that direction, still trying to find some piece of my skin to have beneath his fingertips. When I rocked my hips into him this time, it was firmer than before, deeper than previous times. I drew a soft gasp from him as his hands when to grip the pillow his head rested on, a low moan coming from him.

“You have me. Right here. Can’t you feel that?” He nodded, arched his back when I struck deep and firm again. “Is that not what you meant? Do you want Phi some other way? How do you want him then? Go ahead and tell me, _tua-eng_.”

“I w-want Phi to touch me. Please.” He whined and I eased myself to lean over him just a little, bracing a hand against the headboard as I did so. I knew what he meant by his request, I knew where he wanted my hand at, knew where he desire to have my touch at, but that didn’t mean I didn’t want to tease him just a little. It was something that I enjoyed doing, after all. I enjoyed teasing him, whether it be in front of people or here in private. So, I slid my hand over the top of his leg slowly, smiled when he shuddered.

“Do you want me to touch here?” He shook his head, and I eased my hand up over his hip where he shook his head. Up over his side to slide along his chest, circling the bud on his chest where he rewarded me with a soft moan even as he shook his head. My hand slipped up to his cheek, caressed it softly before brushing my thumb slowly over his lips, an action I was fond of doing. I enjoyed how soft they were, the way he parted them for me so willingly even when all I did was touch them. “Where do you want me to touch you then, Gulf? You’ve got to give me a hint.”

He was creative in giving me his hint. He didn’t say anything, instead he drew my thumb into his mouth even as a whine came from him as I moved inside of him. He drew me into his mouth like I had drawn him into mine earlier, trailed his tongue over the pad of my thumb as I had trailed my tongue over the head of his cock. A shudder raced down my back as I watched him, my gaze growing heated, my thrusts against him becoming harder as my desire for him was driven higher by him.

Sometimes he didn’t know how enticing he could be.

I slid my finger from his mouth gently, took him into my grasp like he desired and stroked him slowly, drawing a soft moan from him. His hands found my chest, rested there only for him to sink his nails into my skin, drag downwards as I struck hard, struck the bundle of nerves, making him cry my name out in pleasure. Normally he would have moved his hands, buried them somewhere else to avoid the situation that just occurred, but his aroused state was too high for him to be concerned about the scratch marks he left upon my chest. They weren’t anything horrid, nothing that would bleed or be nightmarish, but anyone that saw them would know what they were, would know what had caused them. May suspect _who_ had caused them.

In the moment, I wasn’t concerned about it either. Not as he gave soft pleas for me to do it again, to take him higher and bring him that pleasure that only I was allowed to do. All I focused on then was the way he moaned my name, the way he trembled beneath me as I stroked him, slid my thumb over the head of his cock. I answered his pleas, gave him what he desired as I thrust deep inside of him, the nerves inside of him my target with each movement forward. When his body tense around me, I rocked deeper inside of him, savored the feeling of him clamping down around me as he came, his body trembling beneath me as he came.

I didn’t move again until his body stilled, until his breathing had steadied out, a soft whine of protest coming from him because I had fallen still. I dropped a soft kiss to his lips as I gave a soft laugh. “Don’t worry. Still okay with that on, baby? Good boy, just needed to check. On your hands and knees for me. On your front if you’re too tired for that.”

I eased myself out of him and gave his ass an affectionate smack as he rolled himself over carefully, kept a close watch on him as he moved himself to his hands and knees for me, his fingers tangling into the sheets as he positioned himself comfortably. I watched him for a few seconds, making sure that he wasn’t forcing himself to manage the position before I drew his hips back against me, eased myself back into him in a slow movement that had him whimpering softly.

The way he rocked himself forward and then backwards was a sight that I enjoyed watching. The way he eased himself forward before moving backwards, taking me inside of him with ease as his arms slid forward in front of him. It was a sinful picture even if he was an angelic being to me, the way his body slid and moved, the soft sounds that he made. The soft inhales of breath became soft gasps as I eased deeper against him, slid my hands over his ass in a gentle move. I slid my hands to his hips, gave them a soft squeeze in a silent request of permission. There would never be a time where I didn’t seek out his permission before I did something to him, no matter how far into the act we were. His consent was something I would always have.

“I want it.” He moaned softly, giving me a nod of permission as he braced his arms in front of him. I rarely sought his permission if I were going to go slow with him, there wasn’t a chance that it would startle him. Perhaps catch him off guard if he were anticipating something else, but if I were going to change the pace I was going with him, I sought out his permission before I did it, made sure that he was able to handle it instead of just throwing it at him. Between our two positions, he was the one that could be hurt far easier than I could be.

The cries of pleasure and soft moans of my name as I went hard on him told me that he enjoyed it as I took him, the soft words that came from his lips encouraging me on. Whined yeses, whimpered words that told me when I struck the nerves inside of him. Gradually he eased himself down so that his chest was against the bed, his hips tipped up to me as I took him, his body rocking in time with mine. A soft word, a name slipped from his lips as his head was tipped forward, catching my interest. I slid my fingers into his hair gently, tipped his head back with a gentle tug that had him moaning out softly.

“What did you say?” His cheeks flushed more, and he shook his head shyly, a soft whine coming from him as I struck deep. “ _Tua-eng_ , you can tell me. What did you say, baby?”

“ _T-Thirak_. I said _thirak_.” He panted and I gave him a small smile that he couldn’t see, his fingers curling into the sheets. I knew his shyness kept him from saying some things to me, knew I had to coax some things from him. His introverted nature made him shy, stopped him from saying some things, but he was gradually becoming more willing, had become more comfortable with initiating physical contact publicly when it had caused him to be so shy in the beginning since he hadn’t been used to it.

“Is that just for me?” I smiled when he nodded, lent over him long enough to press a soft kiss to his temple as heat crept up the back of his neck. It was always just Phi or P’Mew from him, sometimes he would call me his Phi, but I had never really had name like that that he referred to me as, not like how I called him _tua-eng_. I had wondered for a while if it was his shy nature that held him back from doing it, then just knew that it was.

As I drove into him on hard and firm thrusts, he happily took everything I gave him, giving me soft moans and whimpers, sounds that edged me higher as I heard them. When I braced my hands on either side of his head and lent over him, felt his hand slide back and his nails dig into my hip, I glanced down to make sure I wasn’t hurting him, that he wasn’t in any discomfort, but all I saw was his cheeks flush and his lips parted on a soft whine. I struck hard, deep and the way his body tensed, the way he clamped down around me, drug me over the edge in a rush.

While my hips stilled against him after I eased them as close as I could get them, he rocked himself back into me, drawing a low groan from me as my orgasm rushed over me, My breath hit his skin in soft pants as I pressed a hand against his shoulder, the slow rocking of his hips back into me bordering on torture to me. I gripped his hips and eased them to the bed, pinning them against the mattress as I eased myself out of him slowly.

“You’re being evil right now.” I murmured and made him laugh. I slid the blindfold from him gently, brushed his hair back away from his face as he squinted over his shoulder at me, the sudden change in lighting likely a bit jarring for him. I shifted myself so that I blocked some of the overhead light for him, stroked a hand over his cheek slowly. After a moment, I held up the blindfold and his gaze moved to it.

"So, where does this go? Drawer or trash?" I asked and laughed when he grinned, pointed to the drawer with a shaky hand. It would be something that we would keep on hand, then. Something that we could pull out when we felt like it, use when we desired to. Perhaps use with other items in the future when we decided to try other things. We were always teasing each other about things, always open to trying something new with each other.

"I get to use it on you next time we use it." He said, making me lift a brow lightly at him. He flashed me a smile and I pursed my lips, as if I were thinking about if I would let him or not as I rubbed a hand over his back lightly. In truth, I would let him do whatever he wanted. He had trusted me to let me do it to him, I would trust him the same way. I was actually curious to see how he would work it to his favor.

"I suppose I can let you do that. At least one of us will know how to keep our hands to ourselves then." I teased and gave him a small smirk when his gaze dropped down to my chest, where his scratch marks practically stared back at him in an accusing manner. Heat crept into his cheeks as he eased onto his back, traced a finger over one slowly. "You did that on purpose, didn't you?"

This time he pursed his lips a little. "I've thought about doing it on purpose in the past, but I didn't this time. It was an accident. Everything felt more intense because I couldn't see you. And you kept teasing in your small ways. Then you just hit that spot just right and..." He mimicked digging his nails into my chest, moved them down a little.

Tomorrow would be interesting.

\-----

"P'Mew, we need you to change into this shirt. This will look better on camera. The one you're wearing now looks a little odd because of the background." The staff member holding up the shirt gave me an apologetic look when I glanced up at her from my seat next to Gulf. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the tips of his ears go red. The scratches had certainly faded a little, but they were still there, still visible.

Ah, well. He had his own problem to deal with.

"Sure, no problem. I'll go change in one of the rooms over there." I stood and took the shirt from the woman, giving her a small smile as I wandered off to the room. Sometimes I would have just changed the shirt there without issue, that wasn't something I could do right now. As I eased the door shut, I could hear her conversation with Gulf, since I was only a short distance away from them.

"He doesn't often change in another room. Is he alright?"

"Hmm? Oh, yes. Just feeling a little self-conscious right now, I think. Saw a negative comment online about how someone thought he had put on weight." He mumbled. A complete lie, but he was trying his best.

"That's ridiculous. He looks great." The woman huffed out a sigh. "People need to keep their rude comments to themselves. Oh, you were limping when you arrived earlier. Are you alright? Did you hurt yourself?"

I left the room after I finished changing, saw Gulf rubbing the back of his neck as he floundered for some sort of excuse as to why he was limping. Not like he could tell her why he was. He'd given me the scratches that I was hiding, but he couldn't hide the limp that I'd caused because he'd gone harder than normal on him. Not that he had complained about it, he'd enjoyed himself as much as I had. Neither one of us had thought about the fall out in the moment, however. Not when we had been caught up in each other, in the pleasure that wrapped around us and drove us forward.

"Gulf? Are you alright?"

"He's embarrassed because he tripped walking over a flat surface." I said, joining them once more, setting my shirt down as I sat. "He was just walking and tripped over nothing. He hurt his leg a little bit, but I think his pride is a little more wounded than anything is. He feels silly for tripping over nothing. It's easier to explain away when you trip over something. What do you say when you trip over nothing?"

The woman gave a soft laugh. "Oh, just wait until you start tripping over yourself. I do that often enough. It's nothing to be embarrassed about. We all do it. Just take it easy and rest so you don't make it worse. Your fans will worry if they see you limping around too much."

In this instance, I had the sneaking suspicion they may have been pleased because of the reason, if they had only known the reason.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

** Gulf **

Cool air rushed in around me as I surfaced from sleep in the middle of the night, a shiver racing down my spine as I rolled onto my side. Somewhere during the night, the blanket had been pushed away, lost to the shifting movements of sleep. Instead of reaching for the blanket to draw it back up, which would have been the reasonable thing to do, I turned my body towards Phi, curling into his side as another shiver overtook me.

Arms came around me, drawing me in closer to him and I wiggled my way closer, gladly taking the warmth that his embrace offered to me. His hand traveled a path up and down the bare skin of my back, sending a shiver racing down me for a completely different reason. I loved the way his fingers played over my skin, their touch light and soothing as he warmed my cool skin,

“You’re cold, _tua-eng_.” He said softly, touching his lips to my forehead when I looked up at him, making my heart flutter. It was the simple little gestures that he did that made me melt. The simple touches, the gentle kisses that he gave me that made me feel like a child who had been told they could get anything in the world that they wanted. Happy beyond words, the fluttering feeling that he stirred to life in my stomach often making me want to giggle and hide my face away in shyness. He sung between making me feel giddy like a teenager having their crush paying attention to them, to being a trembling mess as love made my chest ache as it overtook me. “Where’s the blanket?”

“Down there.” I pointed towards the blanket that was close to my kneecaps, leaving most of me exposed to the cool air of the room. Even as he reached down for the blanket, Phi drew me in closer to him, tucking me in closer to his side. The blanket was tucked up over my shoulders, warmth wrapping around me as his hand resumed the slow path over my back, making me smile. “Phi is a better blanket anyway. You keep me warmer than any blanket would.”

I was taller than Phi, though I always managed to look smaller than him somehow. He was certainly more muscular than I was, broader than I was, but I always managed to look shorter than him somehow when we were together. Sometimes I subconsciously changed the posture I took on when I was with him, making myself smaller around him, enjoying the protective nature that he took on with me. I could take care of myself, I obviously did when I had schedules without him, but I enjoyed the way that he doted on me and took care of me. I may not have done it so much in public with him as I did in private, but I was starting to become more comfortable doing it, starting to show that side of me gradually as I started to show that affection back to him.

When we cuddled, I was always a little lower down than he was, settled myself so that I could nestle my head into his neck or on his chest. It was my spot, my position that I always took up when I pressed myself in close to him like I did now. I touched my lips to his chest, an unspoken gesture of my affection for him. I wasn’t one that was good with words, with saying what I felt, and he was aware of it. More often than anything, I expressed it with my actions, whether they be small little things or more direct things if we were in private.

“You won’t have to worry about being cold, I’ll always keep you warm.” I wiggled my way up when he gave a soft tug to move me up. I saw love in his gaze when he looked at me, the endless depths of it that he never failed to make me feel when he touched me or looked at me. Even if I wasn’t looking at him, I knew when he was looking at me because a warmth wrapped around me, one that I only ever felt from him. “Even if I have to be cold to make sure you’re warm, Yai Nong.”

My heart ached as love rushed in over me. The feeling was no longer something that threatened to overtake me, it was something that I welcomed with open arms and cherished every time I felt it. I savored the feeling when it wrapped around me, felt so lucky to have found the one that I felt that I was meant to have found somewhere in my life so early. I hadn’t been forced to wait so long to find him, he had come into my life early though he had been unexpected. I hadn’t gone into the auditions expecting to find the one that made everything brighter, made everything better, seem safer, but I was grateful that I had. Would always cherish that day, hold it close to my heart as something special, as a day that had, in a very large sense, been lifechanging for me in more than one way.

I lent into him, pressing my lips to his gently as I slid my fingers into his hair. The arm around my waist tightened as he drew me in as close to him as he could get me. When we had gone to bed earlier there had been no gentle touches that had led to soft moans, only the a soft kiss goodnight before we had both drifted to sleep, the day having been long and tiring for the both of us. The tiredness fell away, forgotten about as I parted my lips for him and granted him the access he sought out.

Desire stirred to life; not a scorching flame, but a slow burning that rose to life, wrapping around the both of us as his hand slid down over my hip, over my ass in a slow caress. I hooked my leg over his hip and reached over his shoulder for the bottle of lubricant and the package of condoms that we had taken to leaving on the bedside table. Rarely did we tuck them aware anymore. No one but us ventured into the room, we didn’t allow it. Those we did know about the status of our relationship knew not to. If we were uncertain if someone would go wandering in without permission, we locked the door to prevent it.

I grabbed the bottle and a condom, reaching behind me to press the bottle into his hand gently. He took it from me, opening it and closing it to begin a familiar process that didn’t take long. We had been together often enough that my body had become accustomed to taking him inside of me, to accepting him without pain or discomfort, the process far easier and far more pleasurable now. My breath hitched as I rocked my hips, the feel of my cock nestled between the two of us drawing a soft moan from me as I found a slow slide of friction there.

Phi ensured that I was ready for him before he took the condom from me, tore it open and rolled it down over himself. I moaned softly as he eased himself inside of me, the fullness I felt with him inside of me providing me with a feeling of rightness, of completeness as he settled himself there. Everything felt right when I was with Phi, I felt complete with him, and when I was with him on this level, I felt connected to him on a deeper level. Everything more intimate and closer.

He rocked into me, my fingers sliding into his hair once again as his gentle thrusts began against me, his hand against the back of my neck drawing me to him for a soft kiss. I went to him willingly as his hand slid down my back, his fingertips trailing a slow path down my back, making me shiver. My hand dropped from his hair to the back of his neck as his hand came to rest on my ass, the heat in the kiss I shared with him creeping higher but never tipping things beyond the gentle, slow motion that had been set.

Neither of us craved the fast pace, the gentle touches, the gentle rocking of his hips into me more than enough for the both of us as pleasure edged higher. He struck deep and I drew in a soft gasp against his lips, leaning my body into him to tip him beneath me. I couldn’t help but smile at the small sound of surprise that he gave as I settled myself on top of him, pushing myself up to sit properly as I straddled him.

When I sat up, I slid back on him, drawing more of him into me and he lifted his hips to meet the action. My moan mixed with his soft groan as my hips rocked down against him, my hands resting flat against his chest to balance myself. I had ridden him before, in a sense, but he had always been sitting up with me, so this was a little different for me, a new territory for me to be exploring. He rubbed his hands over the tops of my legs slowly, making me lift my gaze to him.

“You know what to do, baby. Go ahead.” He said softly, his hips easing my body higher and letting me sink down when he lowered them. It wouldn’t be so different form the other times, he just wouldn’t be sitting up for me to grip onto was all. Slowly I fell into the rhythm of rocking forward to sink back, his hips rocking to meet mine in a pace that had me biting my lip as pleasure rushed in around me. There was no hard motions, no scrambling to cling to something as he drove my pleasure higher at a rapid pace that had me trembling in need. Just a steady rise that had my breath hitching, had soft whimpers filling the room.

His hands came to rest against my hips, and I moved one of mine to cover his, gripping onto the back of it as I sank down against him, his name leaving me on a soft whimper. He turned his hand and laced his fingers with mine, letting me grip onto it tightly as I rode him. The hand that rested against my hip stroked a slow path over my skin, sending little shivers racing along my spine, the feel of his touch far more arousing than it logically should have been. I dropped my head forward as I sank back down on him, a slow rocking of my hips against him beginning, my body beginning to tremble.

“You look gorgeous like this, Gulf.” I lifted my gaze to him, heat creeping up the back of my neck at his words and I bit my lip at the heat in his gaze. Would I ever get used to hearing those words from him? Even when he complimented me in public, told me that I was cute and played with my hair in interviews shyness swept over me. A shyness that I couldn’t control, that I couldn’t stop, and I absolutely had no control over my bodily responses when my ears went red or my cheeks turned pink. “It’s no wonder that people always look at you. I can’t blame them.”

No, I would never get used to it.

The rocking my hips grew quicker and I tightened my hold on his hand. I slid my hand to the bed next to his head and lent over him, easing his hand down next to him as I held fast to it, his hips rising to meet mine in quick, steady thrusts that had me whining his name. He squeezed my hand, and I lifted my gaze to him, my cheeks flushed, and my lips parted as I panted in soft spurts.

“Does it feel good, baby? Yeah? Do you want more?” I bobbed my head in a quick nod, the desire to feel more driving my response. Always, I would always want more of him. Would always crave more of what he could give to me, what he could make me feel. “Come here. Phi will give you want you want, _tua-eng_. Let me give you want you want, baby.”

I knew what he wanted when he pressed a hand against my back, and I slid my hand free of his, lowering myself to lay against him so we were chest to chest, my cheek pressed against his shoulder. My fingers curled into the sheets as his hands dropped down to rest against my ass, holding my hips against him as his thrusts against be sped up, becoming quicker and deeper against me. He struck deeper, struck faster making my body tremble as pleasure rushed in around me.

I knew how to pleasure myself, I wasn’t naïve, had done it before. I knew how to pleasure both of us, but there were times where it just seemed like Phi knew what I wanted more than I knew, knew how to hit where I wanted better than I did. I didn’t view it as odd, we could communicate without words, could understand what the other was thinking with a simple glance at the other. I did wonder, sometimes, just how he did it though. Was it because he was more experienced that I was? Which would make sense. Or perhaps because he simply knew me so well. Whatever it was, I certainly wasn’t complaining.

A soft cry tore from me as he struck the bundle of nerves and I turned my face into his neck, my breath coming in soft hitches against his skin. The higher he drove me, the faster his hips moved, soft words of praise given to me as he sent me racing higher. He never strayed from gentle, never turned hard or rough in his handling, or in the way that he kept me anchored against him, his arms sliding to wrap around my waist. I pulled at the sheets as pleasure swept over me, as I came against both of our stomachs with my face pressed against his neck.

Soft caresses were left over my skin as he rocked his hips into me, my body trembling against his as I rode out the pleasure that he had given to me. It was always intense, always stole my breath away, but I didn’t view it as because he was the world’s greatest lover. There would be no other for me, no other partner for me but Phi. I viewed it to be as intense as it was each time because of the love I felt for him, because of the love that was always with me when I was with him. Each time I was with him, no matter how badly I wanted his hands on me, that love I felt for him rushed in over me. I had heard countless times before that sex was better when you were in love and I believed that now, had no doubt in the statement.

I pushed myself up to gaze down at him, his movements against me resuming as he sought out his own release. I knew he enjoyed watching me as I found my own pleasure, as I came and in the recent times as I watched him do the same, I understood why. I enjoyed the expressions that passed over his face, the way his gaze grew a little more heated and the way he would bite down on his lower lip in the same way I would. He had other tells that I’m sure he wasn’t aware of. His thrusts always became a little uneven the closer he got, his grip on my hips, or my ass in this case, became a little tighter.

Just as it did now.

He drew my hips down and sank deeper inside of me, my name coming from him on a soft groan as pleasure rushed over him, his hips meeting mine in quick, unsteady thrusts. His gaze never left me as he gazed up at me, his eyes heated and full of the love that he never failed to show me. I slid my hand to cup his face, brushing my thumb over his cheek as I lent down, pressing my lips to his in a light kiss. I wasn’t as good with words as he was, but maybe I could convey what I meant well enough.

“I’m the only one that gets to see this.” I said softly, pressing my forehead against his. His hands slid up my back, tracing a slow path as he gave me a small smile.

“What? The expressions I make when I feel good?”

“Well, that too.” I tipped my head to the side as I gazed down at him, trailing the tip of my finger along the bridge of his nose. “I’m the only one that gets to see you gazing at them with all the love in the world in your eyes. Other people might get to see it, but it’s not aimed at them, it isn’t meant for them. I’m the only one that gets to look at you and realize that gaze it meant for me. That you’re looking at me and feeling the same emotion that I am.”

“Like I’ve found home?” I nodded, relieved that he knew what I meant. “That’s because you are home for me, Gulf. I feel calm and warm when I’m with you, I can rest and recharge when I’m with you. I can’t and won’t ask for anything more than that.” He sat up and stole a soft kiss, a shy smile slipping onto my lips at his words. He put my thoughts into words far easier than I could.

Being with him was easy, felt natural. Everything came easily, flowed naturally. I felt warm and safe with him, felt like nothing in the world could touch me because he wouldn’t let it. I had said that I believed he would protect me, and I hadn’t ever doubted it, had never looked at him and wondered if I had been wrong. There had always been an instinctive feeling that he would keep me safe.

I laughed when he rolled me beneath him and eased himself from me. The familiar process of clean up happened, though he cheated and settled for tissues instead of a towel this time. I didn’t mind though. Not as he slid back into bed after throwing things away in the trash and drew me in against him, pulling the blanket up around us once again. I snuggled my way closer to him, nestling my head beneath his head.

“I think we’ll keep the blanket, even if you say I’m a better blanket. It’ll just be a second layer.” He said and I grinned, enjoying the way he settled me in against him before tucking the blanket in around me.

Okay, maybe I enjoyed him taking care of me a bit too much sometimes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please keep those in Thailand and the Philippines in your thoughts. Everyone stay safe and be careful, no matter where you are, but especially if you attend any protests for any cause. Be sure to know what to do in the case that something happens.
> 
> I thought about not updating this week, but at the same time I thought that people may need a place to step away from everything for a little while so I decided to go ahead and do it, though I won't post about it on Twitter. If you need time for yourself, please take it. It doesn't mean you don't care. Self care is important.


	18. Chapter Eighteen

** Mew **

The scene was so familiar, but the feeling around us was so different. Fans stood in front of us as we stood on stage, the lights of their cameras flashing as they snapped pictures, some of them taking videos. An MC stood off to the side as we were asked questions and guided through little games that made us laugh, that made Gulf accuse me of cheating every now and then. Maybe I was, maybe I wasn’t. I’d never tell him, but he knew whether I was or wasn’t anyway. Sometimes it wasn’t full cheating, just bending the rules a little. They’d never expressly said that I _couldn’t_ do it, so was it really against the rules.

“I know you get asked this a lot, but everyone really enjoys it when you doit.” We both turned our attention from waving at the flashing cameras to the MC who was speaking with polite smiles. He gave a friendly one of his own as he gestured to the crowd in front of us. “Everyone _really_ enjoys it when you pick him up, Mew. Would it be alright with the two of you if you did that today?”

It was amusing to think about the last time I had picked him up. Many things had occurred between the times. The last time, though he had covered his nerves about it happening up to everyone else, I had been able to see them. He had been nervous about me picking him up, he had been keeping a small distance between us the entire day that day. Nerves had been coursing through him nonstop, a nervous energy always dancing around him. I had wondered, a few times, if he would end up running off the stage and an excuse would have to be made for him.

When I had said that I had lost my grip on him when I had picked him up, it hadn’t been a complete lie either. Maybe half of one, but there had been a truth behind it. I had set him down quicker than I would have previously because being that close to him was causing problem for me at the time too. Having the knowledge that I had then, coupled with the desire that I had, I had needed to put him down far quicker than normal. The scent of him, the closeness of him had been too overwhelming for me.

I had laughed it off in the moment but focusing again had been a struggle. All I had wanted to do was think of him. Not that he wasn’t constantly on my mind away. The casual touches were easier now, though. I knew when we returned home, they could wander to more intimate touches if we were both awake enough for it to occur. I knew I could draw him in to curl up against me instead of having to part ways with him to have to sleep through the night without him.

I turned towards Gulf and laughed when he turned towards me, his arms held out to his side as he had always done before when I picked him up. The crowd in front of us let out delighted screams and I tipped my head, lifting my brows a little towards him. A completely different reaction to before. Then he had looked calm and happy to do it but had been nervous. Now he looked calm and happy to do it and I could all but feel the pleasure at the thought coming from him. He’d told me once in our late-night conversations that he enjoyed it when I picked him up like this, enjoyed the sense of security he found in my arms.

The sweater he wore was a little too big on him, the sleeves going down to his fingertips as he curled his fingers around the ends of his sleeves and wiggled his arms at me, a grin on his face as he gazed at me. When I made no move towards him, he glanced towards the crowd in front of us and they gave cheers of encouragement, making me laugh as he looked back at me, He wiggled his arms a little faster in a silent request for me to pick him up.

I crouched down a little and placed my arms beneath his butt, giving him a bit of a makeshift seat, before lifting him up, his arms going around my neck instinctively. At one point, I would have been aware of the flashing cameras, would have been aware of the pictures being snapped as even as I gazed up at him, but I wasn’t aware of them as I looked up at him down, saw the delighted smile that lit up his features. It was a smile that reached his eyes, made his nose scrunch up in the way that I found to be adorable.

There would be complete adoration on my face, I was certain of it. There would be no mistaking what the look was, no questioning it, it would be plain as day and no hiding it, but strangely I wasn’t concerned about hiding it as I looked up at him. There were already questions that circulated between the fans, among reporters. Perhaps, in time, we would let them know in full, but it wasn’t to that point yet. It was still new enough to us that we were exploring it and discovering things ourselves.

But a little bit at a time wouldn’t be so bad.

Gulf looked down at me and I smiled at him, that smile softening as he tipped his head towards me and let his cheek rest against my forehead. I closed my eyes and accepted the warmth of love that washed over me. I heard the delighted sounds from in front of us, the flurry of snapped pictures, but they weren’t the thing that I thought of as I savored the moment of intimacy with him there, though those present wouldn’t realize that’s what it was.

What I thought of was how, as our relationship progressed and moved forward as it was, there were moments of our love being captured by many as they snapped pictures and shared them. There were pictures we took together and shared, took together and kept just between the two of us but there were still times where we were too busy to capture a moment together, but could return to the moments because of the images that the fans captured for us.

It was a beautiful thing to think about.

\-----

Gulf landed on the bed with a delighted laugh when I gave him a gentle shove onto it, his laugh filling the room as he gazed up at me. Amusement lit up his face, his smile bright and his cheeks flushed as he let his arms fall to rest on the bed, his hands on either side of his head. We had been bickering the entire trip to the bedroom. Not true bickering, where either one of us were truly upset, but the teasing kind of bickering. I had messed up my wording of things earlier and he’d been teasing me relentlessly since I’d done it, letting it drop before bringing it casually back up, sending everyone dissolving into laughter all over again.

It hadn’t bothered me at all, if anything I found it just as amusing as he did. It was embarrassing, messing up my words, but the way his face lit up as he laughed made me focus on anything but that embarrassment. All I focused on was the delight on his face as he laughed, as he poked fun at me and made me laugh along with him. He flashed me a grin as I gazed down at him, the innocent expression he put on his features one that I knew was a complete lie.

I had seen how devious he could be, how he used that innocent look to work in his advantage.

“Are you done making fun of me, Gulf?” I asked and shifted onto the bed with him, moving my body over his. He gave me another small grin and his hands skimmed along my sides slowly, causing me to jerk away from his touch, a playful expression darting over his features as I grabbed his wrists. His grin widened when I pinned his arms on either side of his head, the innocent look he gave me never slipping from his features.

“I wouldn’t tease you, Phi.” He shook his head, a small pout slipping onto his lips when he leant up for a kiss and I moved back out of his reach. “Why would I tease you, Phi? I’m a good boy, I wouldn’t do something like that, would I?”

I pressed my lips to his forehead before I hovered my lips over his. When he lifted his head towards me, I leant out of his reach once more, a small smirk playing over my lips as he gave a soft whine of frustration. I saw the desire beginning to creep into his gaze when he looked at me, my denial of letting him have my lips against his fueling that want inside of him. I gave his wrists a soft squeeze, drawing his gaze from my lips to meet my eyes.

“Don’t move your hands from here. Understand?” He bobbed his head in a quick nod as he curled his fingers into the sheets, like they would anchor him there and keep him from moving. I slid my hands from his wrists to the buttons on his shirt and began undoing them slowly, enjoying the way that his breath quickened the further down my hands trailed. Holding still like this wasn’t the easiest thing for him to do, I could see the urge to touch me in his eyes when I glanced back up at him.

“Why can’t I move my hands, Phi?” He asked, his breath leaving him on a soft shudder when I eased his shirt open and slid my hands up along his sides. Color rose in his cheeks as my hands trailed back down his sides, my fingers trailing a slow path over his cock that strained against the confines of his pants. A soft whine escaped him as I slid my palm over him, the small amount of friction I gave him not nearly what he desired.

“Because you weren’t a good boy, Yai Nong.” I replied. I undid his pants and freed him from their confines, stroking him in a slow motion that had him rocking his hips into my grasp. His lips parted on a soft moan as I slid my thumb around the head of his cock, his hips lifting into my touch. “I know you want to touch me too, but you have to behave yourself first. You keep your hands there until I tell you that you can move them. Can you behave yourself for me, _tua-eng_?”

He gave me a small nod even as he gave a soft sound of protest as I let him go to tug his pants and boxers off, amused when he helped me to kick them free. I retrieved what I needed from the bedside table before I returned to him, his gaze following me as I went. The denial to touch for either one of us was torture, something that we both disliked. We were used to doing it, to holding hands, to resting hands against legs or arms, I was used to having my arm around his waist, having his weight leaning into me during interviews. I knew this would be torture for him, but I also knew that when he did finally touch me, it would be just as sweet for me as it would be for him.

Because I would suffer just as much as he would.

I drew him into my mouth on a slow glide that had his breath hitching, had him lifting his hips towards me, seeking further entrance into my mouth. Instead of giving him what he desired, I eased myself back, releasing him to slide my tongue along the vein in his cock in a slow motion that caused him to whine in the soft sound that I loved to hear so much from him. I couldn’t help but give a soft chuckle as I glanced up towards him.

“Feeling needy, baby?”

“Y-Yes.” He said softly. At least he was honest, I would give him that. In the beginning, he had been shy about telling me what he wanted, if he desired anything. It was his introverted nature, I knew that, accepted it willingly, knew that he would gradually come out of his shell, given time. And slowly he had begun to, he had begun to tell me what he wanted, what he desired, when he desired something. It was something that we were figuring out together as things went along.

I took him into my mouth slowly once more, my grasp going around him as I stroked him in slow motions as my head moved along him in a pace that I knew wasn’t _quite_ what he wanted. It was just slow enough, just teasing enough to make him moan in frustration as his hips rocked into my mouth, an action that I allowed him. It was when I felt his fingers tangling in my hair that I gave him a soft sound of scolding and halted my movements, that I fell still against him. His frustrated moan filled the room, his hands fisting into the sheets once again as I lifted my gaze towards him.

“M-Mean. You could let me t-touch your hair.” He whined, his hips lifting off of the bed as I slid back along his length. Perhaps he was right, I could let him touch my hair, but I knew the longer I denied him, the better his reaction to being able to finally touch me would be. And I would suffer just as much as he did, since I desired the feel of his fingers tangled in my hair as he rocked his hips into my mouth. It was a feeling I had come to enjoy, having them tangled there as I edged him higher with my mouth. They would tighten when I prepared him for me, when my fingers eased inside of him to bring him a new form of pleasure.

Now just soft moans filled the room as I began to prepare him, my fingers sinking into him with ease. His hips rocked back and forth between my mouth around him and the fingers that teased at the bundle of nerves inside of him, never quite knowing which sensation to follow after more. If he had the freedom to touch me, the grip on my hair would be tight by now, a gentle guiding of my actions likely would be underway as he tried to seek out the release that I kept just out of his reach, kept him just shy of finding.

Even without his fingers in my hair, I knew when I needed to back off. His breathing quickened, the rocking of his hips gradually became quicker, the bitter taste of precoma hitting my tongue. A soft sound of protest came from him when I released him, a frustrated whine filling the room as I ran my tongue along the vein in his cock. I knew what he wanted, knew what he desired from me and I would give it to him.

In time.

“You’re frustrated, aren’t you?” I couldn’t help but laugh when he gave me a small scowl, his fingers flexing over the sheets before fisting in them once again. I eased off the bed slowly, amused by the small scowl that remained on his face as he watched me unbutton my own shirt to leave it hang open. His gaze followed my hands down, watched as I removed my pants and boxers. I started to shrug my shirt off when his words made me pause.

“Leave it on.”

Not what I had been expecting, but I would do as he asked, I would leave it on if he wanted me to. I moved back to him, back onto the bed where I tore the condom open and rolled it down over myself before easing into him slowly. I watched as pleasure settled over his features, a soft moan coming from him as color touched his cheeks. It was a sight that I would never tire of seeing, seeing the pleasure settle onto his face, watching as his body responded to me.

My hips met his in a slow and teasing pace, the retreat and forward motion a direct contrast to the hard and fast pace that I desired to take with him. I craved to have him whimpering beneath me as I took him, something I would have in time. His legs drew back and pressed against my sides as I sank deeper inside of him, a soft moan escaping his parted lips. I leant over him; my weight braced on my forearms as I let my lips linger near his ear. It was a move that I knew would send little thrills racing through his body. I knew his ears were sensitive, I knew how he would respond to the proximity.

“Does it feel good, baby?” I asked softly, felt him nod as his skin brushed against my cheek. I sank deeper inside of him, his breath hitching as I rocked my hips slowly into him. The soft whimper that came from him, so close to my ear was thrilling, would never cease to be thrilling no matter how many times I was graced with hearing it from his lips. “I know you want more from me. I can feel it. You can go ahead and say it. It’s just the two of us here.”

“I promise to be a good boy, Phi.” He moaned, his head tipping to the side to expose his neck to me. I dropped a soft kiss to his skin, finding my favored spot, making him tremble when I nuzzled the spot slowly. I doubted I would ever figure out why he was so sensitive here, but I suppose it didn’t really matter. It would forever be one of my favored spots simply because he was so sensitive there. “P-Please, Phi. I promise. I’m sorry for misbehaving. I won’t do it again. I’ll be your good Yai Nong from now on. I promise.”

He was lying, we both knew it, but that was okay. He misbehaved and I let him get away with it, enjoyed the bright smile that slipped onto his face when he got his way, wasn’t bothered at all by giving him what he wanted. He didn’t ask for much, didn’t ask for extravagant things in serious ways. And when his mischievousness tipped far enough into the realm where he got scolded, it ended up being fun for the both of us. It was when his mischievousness tipped far enough into that realm that he wanted to be scolded, wanted my attention in just this manner.

When my hips met his faster, harder than before, his hands left their position in the blanket and fisted into the back of my shirt, a soft cry of pleasure filling the room. I didn’t scold him for moving his hands this time, didn’t care that he had. He clung to me as my hips met his in hard motions, his nails grazing over the back of my shirt as he repositioned his grip, soft whines coming from him. Perhaps that was the reason for his wanting the shirt left on; he couldn’t guarantee that he wouldn’t leave scratch marks this time.

I could feel his fingers playing over my back as he adjusted his grip repeatedly, his hands never staying in one place for too long. It was something that he did constantly, even when we had filmed, his hands would roam slow paths over my back, his fingertips would stroke gentle paths along my skin. It had been torture in the moment for me then and it still was, though I could now have him as I had wanted him then. Then I hadn’t believed that I could have him as my own, now I knew I could. Now he was mine, just as I was his.

His nails grazed a slow path along my back, the fabric of my shirt sparing me from any potential marks that he could leave behind. His breath hitched as his fisted his hands into the side of my shirt, his body moving willingly with me when I slid a hand beneath him to tip his hips up towards me. He rode on the pleasure that swam over him, his eyes partially closed, his lips parted as soft moans and whimpers escaped him.

Gulf was my picture of perfection. Not just now, when he was beneath me. I certainly enjoyed the sight of him there with flushed skin and mused hair. He was my picture of perfection in any sense. When he woke up with his bedhead, when he was tired after a long day’s work, when we had the odd day off and just stayed at home doing absolutely nothing. He was by no means a perfect person, no one was. He had his faults and his flaws, just like everyone did, but he was perfect _for_ me. That odd missing piece that fit perfectly when he’d come into my life.

“P’Mew…” His voice was soft, breathy as he said my name. I touched my lips to his neck, a silent gesture for him to say what he wanted to say. His head tipped to the side and I peppered soft kisses over the skin that he granted me access to in the motion. “I want Phi to touch me. Please.”

“I am touching you, _tua-eng_.” I murmured softly, sliding my hand higher over his ass. I couldn’t help but smile when he shook his head, watched him as he drew his lower lip between his teeth and bit down against the whine that he tried to stop. “Not where you want me to touch you at? I should find where you want my touch at then, shouldn’t I? I can’t be mean to my _tua-eng_. I have to take care of him, don’t I?”

I slid my hand up and cupped his cheek as he gave me a small nod. I knew where he wanted my touch at, it was an easy guess, but I enjoyed the reactions he gave to me as I slid my hand down along his body. The way his head tipped back as I let my fingers brush over his throat, the gentle tugs he gave to my shirt as my fingers trailed down his chest, as if trying to hurry me along. He gave a soft whine and rocked his hips towards me as my hand slid over his stomach, trying to draw my touch closer to where he desired.

When I took him into my grasp, he trembled, a soft moan filling the room as he rocked his hips into my touch. He rocked between the hard thrusts and the gentle strokes, the color rising higher in his cheeks, his breath quickening as I offered that pleasure to him. He arched his back towards me when I struck the bundle of nerves inside of him, a low whimper coming from him as he gave soft tugs to my shirt. A silent plea that I couldn’t deny to him.

I couldn’t deny him anything.

“Come for me, Gulf.” I said, my hips meeting his in hard and quick thrusts. My name left him on a soft cry, his body rocking in slow motions as I stroked him through his orgasm. His breath hitched as he drew me down to him, his lips meeting mine in a kiss that was heated, his lips parting on an invitation for exploration. My hand went to his hip, unhindered that it was currently dirty. I would clean him up later, it wasn’t something that I wasn’t worried about at the present moment.

When he gave soft little sucks to my lower hp, my hips met his, faster than before, his nails digging into my back through my shirt as he eased his legs back along my side. His soft whines filled the room, the sound the only melody I ever needed to hear again. Hearing it during filming, so soft and close to my ear, when I thought I couldn’t have him had been torture. I had wanted to go off-script countless times to find out what else would make him moan, what would bring the sound out from him higher than before, what would pitch it deeper.

Now I knew.

The way he grazed his nails down my back, my name leaving him on a soft cry as I sank deeper inside me pulled me over the edge, sending pleasure crashing into me as my orgasm swept over me. I pressed my forehead against his as my heartrate settled, my breathing returning to normal. I felt his fingers playing a slow path through my hair and I couldn’t help but smile down at him, touching my lips to his in a gentle motion.

“Are you alright?” I asked softly and lifted a brow at him when he laughed.

“You’ve been harder on me before, Phi.” It was true, I had been, but I doubted that I would ever stop asking, that I would ever fail to check with him. “I’m alright. Don’t worry.” He stole a quick kiss from me before I stood up and disappeared to the bathroom to retrieve a towel for cleanup. He was still laying in the same position when I returned, though his arms were stretched out to the side and I had removed my shirt in the bathroom.

I sat on the bed next to him as I went through the cleanup process, giving him a small smile as he watched me. I pulled him into a sitting position and slid his shirt off, kissing his shoulder gently before he said anything. “Your shirt protected you from anymore scratch marks. Kinda figured if I didn’t have mine off, you shouldn’t have yours off either. Even if I sort of wanted it off. I just used it to my benefit.”

I laughed and disappeared to the bathroom once again, shaking my head at him as I went. When I returned from the bathroom, the towel and his shirt now in the laundry basket for later, I found Gulf wrapped in the blanket, curled into a ball on my side of the bed, an innocent look on his face as he hogged the blanket to himself and occupied my side of the bed. I lifted a brow at him and tipped my head as he lifted his gaze towards me.

"Aren't you coming to bed?"

I rolled my eyes at him and gave his side a light poke through the blanket, though I knew I would hit no sensitive spot. The man wasn't ticklish, much to my dismay. Sometimes I forgot it and instinctively went looking for a ticklish spot on his sides. He flashed me a smile and snuggled his way deeper into the burrito wrap he'd made of himself with the blanket, closing his eyes and pretending to drift off to sleep.

I watched him in silence for a few moments before picking up my pants from the floor and digging my phone free. I unlocked it and pulled up the camera, crouching down in front of him, aiming the camera at him as I balanced myself.

"Gulf?

"Mmm?"

He opened his eyes and scrunched his nose at me, making a strange little shape with his lips that he so often did in pictures. I adored it when he did it, couldn't help but laugh and snap the picture. Perhaps, if cropped right, it would be one that could be shared. Not much could be seen in the background. It simply looked like he was wrapped in a blanket, nothing more, nothing less because he had the blanket pulled in so tight around himself.

"I love you." I said softly.

This time, his features softened, the shy smile that I adored appearing on his face. Pleasure and love shone in his eyes as he looked at me, color rising in his cheeks. Before he could hide his face, and I knew he would, I snapped the picture. Surprise flashed across his face and he rolled onto his front, hiding his face away from me, making me laugh.

Fans snapped their own photos of the two of us together, caught moments of us as we fell in love, though they didn't know it. They shared the photos online with each other, with us as well. This photo here was my moment of love, one that wouldn't be shared, but that was okay.

Some moments were meant to be kept private.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long stretch with no updates here. My brain just sort of hit a wall with this chapter and it didn't want to go anywhere with it. But I finally managed to finish it, so hopefully it turned out well <3
> 
> You can come follow me on Twitter, if you're interested ^^
> 
> @filltheblankpg

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Kudos are always appreciated. Feedback is always welcome as well! Until next chapter, see you! Stay safe!


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